Daily Devotions for Caregivers

This morning I was pouring my heart out to God. That's nothing unusual, He's used to hearing me whine, cry, fuss and cuss. I had seen some areas where Chris has seemed to lose a lot of ground lately and it frustrates me. I feel like a failure. And as usual, I take all my cares to Him.  Remember He told  us to, several times throughout scriptures. So I did. I was thinking about all there is for caregivers to juggle. For me it's work,  therapy for Chris, ministry, writing my stuff, housework, etc. Who has time to do everything? Yet I find myself my own worst critic, condemning myself for not doing more. Are you kidding me?  So this morning I was bringing all this to the Lord. Asking Him to help me know how to get more organized. He may be tired of hearing that prayer. (lol) I wish I could get on some sort of schedule and stick to it. But you know how it is, just about the time you  do find a schedule that looks like it's going to work, something gets thrown into it

In my reading this morning, I came across an interesting scripture. It's solid, and truth of course, it was my line of thinking, crazy as it can be, that made it so interesting to me. The psalmist says in Psalm 68:19 Blessed be the Lord who daily  bears our burden, the God who is  our salvation.  (NASB) There are a few things that really stick out in this one little verse that's been hiding from me all this time. The first thing I noticed was daily . He takes care of us every single day. Isaiah tells us that He never gets weary. Actually, weary comes after being tired for too long, and He doesn't even get tired. Day after day He continues to undergird us with strength. He carries us when necessary. But this morning I noticed the part our burdens.  He carries us, yes, but He also carries our burdens. And here's where my thinking got a little silly. Honestly, I wondered if all my whining, fussin' and cussin' was a burden to Him and maybe that's what He

Yesterday, I was thinking about life and all it's become. I honestly had the thought that I like my life. Then I thought I guess I've adjusted to this new normal . And then I tempered it down a bit and concluded that at least I might not hate  my life as much as I used to. The living grief  I deal with every day can chip away at all life is supposed to be.  At tines, I miss who my son so much I become an emotional blob.Other times I can at least deal with it and find the best in each situation. And most of the time I fluctuate between the two, often in a matter of a few minutes. I'm starting to wonder if that's not really the source of the never-ending tiredness. Emotions can wear you out. But so can physically caring for another whole person day in and day out. So who knows if it's the endless chores or the emotional shifts that can render us exhausted and yet somehow sleepless. Maybe it's the overpowering combination of the two. While in this perplexed s

Well here we are facing another day. Caregiver's days are full of uncertainty. For instance, today I have some errands that have to be run. There's no waiting at this point, I have  to go get some things today. It usually never fails that when I've put something off and really need  to do it now , the aide doesn't show up. To preempt my possible frustration - I already have a backup plan in place. Sometimes just living with this type of uncertainty is frustrating I mean, why can't we just go to the store and get what we need, right? Sometimes it feels like it takes most of my energy just figuring out how  to get things done, let alone the actual doing  it. Maybe it's just me. By the time I work through all that, I'm too tired to get it done. lol Sometimes it can wait for another day, but sometimes I just have to "pull myself up by my own bootstraps" and get it done anyway. My feelings are irrelevant. At least that is how I feel much of the ti

This morning, I just woke up tired. I hate it when that happens, and I admit I've been burning the candle on both ends  for quite some time now. One of my primary goals right now is to find a way to organize my time better. What am I thinking?   How in the world can caregivers organize anything? Even if we do get all organized, something will happen, right? Maybe it's just me. It was actually easier when I first brought my son home because he slept a lot. Part of the recovery process though is constant changes. I've said before that change is about the only thing that is  constant in the caregiver's life! Right? Just about the time we get a "schedule" ironed out and in place, thinking it will work perfect for our needs as well as for our loved ones, what happens? Something. Anything.  We can be catapulted into chaos at any moment of any day or night. I have not-so-quietly tried to give in to it and just work with whatever life and Chris gives me each day.

Lately, I've been giving more time to studying the word. One reason is I'm getting to do a little more teaching from time to time. Being a teacher at heart, means I'm also a good student. The word is invaluable! When I was in my early teens I decided I wanted to know what it said for myself. I've been a diligent student ever since. I just didn't want others telling me what it said. This desire led to a lifelong habit of putting the word at the forefront of my life. This morning I was thinking about these things as I was reading Colossians 3. Verse 16 says  to Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly.  And right before that, Paul tells the reader to Let the peace of God rule in your hearts. I think that little word "let" has a really big implication. My question was the application of these two scriptures. Mostly, I was thinking about letting the word dwell in us richly. My thoughts were back and forth in scriptures wondering how I could let it r

Yesterday, I had the honor of speaking with a fellow caregiver. It was so refreshing and rewarding to spend the time in conversation! Even though our circumstances differ, we found much in common. I love connecting with other caregivers like that, it is quite inspiring. Caregivers are awesome. Some of the simplest things can be complicated by caregiving. It took us a couple of tries to find a time that worked for both of us to make that call. No big deal for either of us, we adjusted what we needed to so it would work. One of my earliest frustrations was having difficulty scheduling things. Even yesterday, I was trying to explain my situation to a client. He wanted to give me a "full-time" position with set hours. He couldn't understand why I couldn't commit to it. I explained I could commit to a certain number of hours but not specific hours I could put in. I tried to carefully explain that if I said I was going to work 1 to 4 each afternoon, something would co