Posts

The Good, The Bad, & the Ugly

Image
  One of the things I love about God is that He never leaves us. I say it a lot, but life never overwhelms Him. It never gets too ugly for Him to continue walking with us. I think that's one of the things that stands out to me in the scriptures. You get the whole story. It's all there, the good, the bad, and the ugly. God never shied away from people who were on the edge. He was always right there with them in the midst of their darkest hours. Now, I'm in a good place right now. I'm working, Chris is doing good, and I feel pretty good physically. But I still have "those moments." Recently, I've had a difficult time emotionally. It's not anything real bad, just missing Chris. I have to bury who he was every single day. I love who he is too - he's still my son. But my heart aches. I miss his humor, his music, his questions, his personality. You would think after 12 years, it would all go away, right? Nope. So, I constantly find myself going back to G...

The Great Exchange

Image
  This morning during my FaceBook live devotion "Peace Out!", I talked about 1 Peter 2:9 and how we can take all of our concerns to God. Nothing is too big for Him to handle, and nothing is too small for His attention. I mentioned that as a caregiver, I take care of all of my son's needs. I don't have a list of exclusions or things I am unwilling to do. I'm invested in him - and see to him from head to toe. God is the same way about us. He wants us to take our cares to Him - all of them. Just like I take care of my son's whole being - God wants to take care of us wholely. There's no part of Chris I don't take care of. If I don't have the skills (which never happens with God!), then I find someone who does so they can help.  God is our ultimate caregiver. He cares for us - and He can do the caring for us when we let  Him. I love that I can bring Him every little thing that I am concerned about and He won't turn me away or turn me down. He doesn...

Cause and Effect

Image
  We learned about cause and effect in elementary school. As life progressed, we learned it from life lessons. If I don't pay my electric bill - they will shut it off. You know? In scripture, there are lots of examples too. But I want to look at the other side of this coin.  When the king had Daniel thrown into the den of hungry lions, the effect was supposed to be his death. But God had other plans. He disrupted the cause-and-effect system of man with His own plan. In Jeremiah, God foretold the Babylonian captivity. Then He explained that He had thoughts of peace, and not evil, to give you a future and a hope. He explained that His cause and effect system works like this - you call on Me - I answer. Period. I like that. Sometimes we can get pushed so far back into the caregiver's cave that things like hope, a future, and peace are hardly discerned. The Enemy likes it that way. But God offers hope on top of hope. Life can throw us some curveballs and caregiving isn't for th...

The Right Now

Image
 As if caregiving wasn't enough, we've found ourselves working through a historic pandemic. They can be difficult enough to navigate for families but made even more challenging by caregiving. Now, on top of all that was already going on in our nation and world, a large portion of the US is suffering through brutally cold and bitter temperatures. Utility companies were ill-prepared to handle a severe winter storm of this magnitude. Personally, I've stressed quite a bit over how I would take care of Chris if the electricity would go out. It's frightening to think about. It can be easy to get sucked into a spiraling cycle of worry right now. And that can be a difficult vacuum for anyone to get out of. When I begin to feel the overwhelm, I go back to basics. I try to stop all the crazy thoughts and focus on truth from the Word. This is why it's so important to read the word. If we are hiding it in our hearts like David said, Holy Spirit will help us recall it when we ne...

No Waiting

Image
This morning, during my private prayer and study time, I began to let thanksgiving have its way in my heart. With this Siberian front coming through it's cold and I am so tired of being cold. But I was so thankful to wake up under a warm electric blanket this morning. And the apartment was bearable but cool. I don't know where it came from, but I just began to thank God for food, clothing, warmth, and plenty of blankets to cover windows to slow down the cold drafts. Something happened in those moments as I got lost in thankfulness. My perspective changed for one thing. But gratefulness gave way to peace. Peace led me down a path that led to a sense of knowing that He sees. He knows. I have read, reread, meditated, thought about, hashed, and rehashed the story of Hagar found in Genesis 16. I wish I could have seen the visual difference of her demeanor as she realized God saw her. She was in a rough spot, interestingly enough. Yet what peace must have flooded her heart and mind a...

Continuous Delivery

Image
 I got on one of my shopping apps this morning to order a few things for the upcoming blizzard. This is an app I use a lot and order from it almost weekly. I started down through the list I made and ordered each item. When I got done, a notice popped up stating they no longer deliver fire starters. I'll spare you the details, but I was quite upset. Here we are in horribly frigid weather, with dangerous conditions getting worse over the next few days and for some unknown reason (they NEVER give a reason), they decided firestarters could not be delivered. I've ordered them numerous times before. I believe at this point - I will cancel my subscription since this is not the first time it's happened on items I order frequently. The good thing is that over the last few months as I've prepared morning devotions on peace - I've absorbed some of my own teachings! lol. As upset as I was it only took me a few seconds to settle myself down and let His peace reign in my heart on...

True Confidence

Image
  Do you ever have those mornings where you know you have a ton of things lined out to do but you just want to stay under the warm covers a little while longer? Most days, we just can't. Personally, I always regret it later in the day when I don't get as much done as I wanted to. But that is nonetheless where I was this morning.  Usually, I get up and put on coffee and let it make while I change Chris and bolus him some water. Then, I crawl back into bed with my coffee cup and Bible in hand. Sometimes, I wish I had the choice to sit there all day. But my coffee would run out. And then there's that there is just too much that has to be done - and I'm the only one to do it. lol While sitting there this morning, I felt my emotions try to take the dive into the caregiver's abyss. The fog was trying to overtake me. But I just don't have time for it today. Like you - I probably just need a day off. But of course, they don't happen. And their rarity is even rarer s...