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Showing posts from March, 2012

It's a big, big house...

One of the difficult parts of being a caregiver is being separated from the mainstream. There are many times that we can feel very alone. And this alone-ness can eat away at your soul. You can feel very disconnected from friends and even family as time goes by. It's not always an every day thing but there are certainly periods of time that you can feel this deep loneliness.It's not really anybody's fault - they mostly just do not know what to do with us since our lives are so different. But we are a part of something much bigger. Ephesians 2:19 says this you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and are of God's household... Somehow even in the loneliness there is comfort in knowing that we are a part of His household. We are not separated from God nor the true body of Christ. If we think about how huge His household must be it helps to bring comfort and wash away a small bit of the alone-ness. We think of our household as t...

Finding Wisdom

For caregivers each day can bring with it many decisions that must be made. These are difficult enough when making them for ourselves, but for those who are taking care of someone else they can be quite frustrating and even more difficult. While we cannot always look up word for word what we should do in each situation, we can turn to scripture for wisdom. Proverbs 2:6 states this: The Lord gives wisdom. From His mouth come knowledge and understanding. That just about covers it all really. He will give us wisdom. James chapter one says that He gives wisdom to those who ask of Him. That part is actually pretty simple. What makes it difficult is waiting on His answers. We tend to ask for wisdom and then try to walk on in our own strength. Wisdom is not impatient and sometimes it dictates that we do not make decisions too hastily. We can ask - and He will give us the wisdom to walk through difficult days and make difficult decisions. The other part of this verse says that from His mo...

Sow What!

The life of a caregiver does not include enough time to get bored. And although the loneliness can chip away at our soul, there are never two days alike and plenty of chores that simply must be done every single day to keep us plenty busy. Sometimes I look at how much I need to get done in a day and wonder if I will make it. Many times I wonder what it is that God wants from me... from here. Life looks so different now. Years have been spent doing the religious things and sadly enough it seems I am so guilty of mistaking those activities for relationship. But these circumstances did not take Him by surprise - He sort of planned ahead for them. In Psalm 97 there are a couple of very interesting points. Verse 10 reminds us that we are to hate evil and love God. There are no stipulations for when times get tough or situations change; it's always the same. But the next part of verse 10 says that He preserves the souls (not the bodies)  of His godly ones; He delivers them from the ha...

You Think He Knows?

As caregivers some days are better than others; as with life itself. Some days it's easy to find that groove and stay on schedule to get everything completed. And then there are days where it seems like everything just piles up on top of you. We carry a constant load; even on our best days - or our infrequent days out - it remains the same. Some days we can simply take in stride and then other days little things pile up. (The aide doesn't show up and you planned on running to the grocery store, to the bank to deposit a check for covering expenses, or to the pharmacy to fill prescriptions. Or you plan a day out and the person who is supposed to watch your loved one bails on you at the last minute.) Any little thing can topple us on any given day...and it can all add up to a much heavier load emotionally. But it's okay. We are like the energizer bunny..we just keep going and going and going...you do not get to stop being a caregiver. So how do we deal with the day to day ...

Do You Ever Wake Up Tired?

As a caregiver, you know those mornings when you just wake up tired. It may be after a sleepless night or having to get up all through the night to care for your loved one; but you just wake up already tired before the day has even begun. Those days you feel like you'll never have strength again and it feels like you've just always been tired. When I have those nights where sleep was constantly disrupted, my thoughts go to Isaiah 40:28. The prophet asks this question:  Do you not know? Have you not heart?  Have I heard what? The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth... does not become weary or tired. Isaiah takes his readers through three descriptions of our Father: God, Lord and Creator . And then he reminds us that God does not get tired or  weary! He never runs down and never rolls His eyes - no matter what my day brings His way. He is constantly watching over us to shield us with His grace and protect our hearts with His peace. I am so ...

How Long is Forever?

It is interesting to me that Jesus promised that when He left this earthly realm He would send a comforter. The Greek indicates someone who will walk alongside you, someone to stay right by your side to help and comfort you along the way. Why didn't He send a healer ? I know that God heals, there is no doubt about that - why didn't Jesus use any of the other names of God when speaking of the Holy Spirit's indwelling? He could have send He was sending a healer, provider, a peace maker or a way maker. God certainly does all of those things through the work of Holy Spirit here on earth. But Jesus chose instead to refer to Holy Spirit as comforter, teacher and guide in John 14-15. The fact that Jesus started John 14 with do not let your heart be troubled and then repeated it again in verse 27 of the same chapter indicates there would probably be some things arise in the apostle's lives that would be unsettling or troublesome. Jesus indicates that Holy Spirit will teach...

Two Kinds of Broken

I heard a chorus last week that had this phrase in it: brokenness that separates . It really made me think of a lot of different aspects of brokenness and I came to the conclusion that there are two kinds of brokenness, and I am acquainted with both of them. There is a brokenness that God is near - the kind that says, Lord, I am broken before You and I need you. But there is a time when we are broken and in our self-preservation we draw away from Him. It is not a bad thing to be broken before Him in humility. This is the type of brokenness that He is near, this is when we can come to Him bleeding and needing help. But the other brokenness is sustained by our departure from His presence. This separation comes as we try to hold on to the hurts in our lives and not release them to Him and allow Him to mend. I have experienced this kind of broken - the kind that makes you mad and so you withdraw from Him in anger. I did not understand why these things had to happen (my son's autom...

Good Morning!

Jeremiah is sometimes called the weeping prophet. To many he seems to be a very big whiner. But he carried such a passionate burden for the people of God that he wept much of the time. If you briefly turn through the pages of Jeremiah you will find some very harsh things God had to say to his people. And besides obeying God and having to speak to His people in such a manner, he was imprisoned and persecuted. Lamentations gives us a closer look into the tender heart of this prophet. (Yes, a prophet does have a tender side!) He wept over the disobedience of his own people and he did not understand why they didn't just obey God. I am sure when he was mercilessly thrown into the mucky pit he wondered if his life was over. He was left to sink in the muddy mess and basically left for dead. Do you think he ever questioned God's call on his life? As a caregiver and the huge life changes that role brought I have found myself questioning God about many things. But in Lamentations 3:1...

Perfect Peace

Sometimes we look at the Old Testament prophets and think that their message was all gloom and doom with a few prophecies about the coming of Christ or the end times mixed in. But in reality, they were just people like us with a message from God. Not only did they go through many of the same things we do but they were moved with much compassion for the people of God. Ezekiel's wife died and Elisha died of an illness. They dealt with life just like we do. Right in the midst of their words of reproof and judgment we can find many shades of grace. When we see all that they were dealing with at the time and then read a passage like Isaiah 25 and 26 it can bring much comfort to us. We perceive prophets as very hard nosed, hard headed people. (And usually they are!) But Isaiah also understood the protection of the Lord and how to trust Him in adversity. In Isaiah 25:4 the prophet describes the Lord as a refuge from the storm and a  shade from the heat. Then in chapter 26 he continues...

Yet One Thing ...

It is very likely that there have been many losses for the caregiver. And these losses can cross many levels. For instance, we lost the person as we knew them and we lost our own freedom and lives.These losses can go to a deeper level when we look at how our emotions have been ransacked by the trauma, and how our lives have been turned upside down in the process. Now in reality most of us do not count the loss, we are motivated by the love we have for our loved ones and these are not things that we sit around and calculate. We just keep putting one foot in front of the other doing all the tasks that need to be done to make sure they are cared for properly. In a life where many things can change with just one phone call, or one slight miscalculation, it is comforting to know that some things simply will not  change. Of course we know that God's love for us will never change. But 1 Peter 1:4 says that our inheritance is imperishable, undefiled and will not fade away ... No matter...

Who's Expecting?

There are a lot of scriptures about waiting on God. David used the phrase many times throughout the Psalms. A good book on waiting is Andrew Murray's Waiting on God. It's a 30 day devotional which uses a different scripture that pertains to waiting on Him for each day's devotion. It seems to me that for the caregiver there is a lot of that. For that matter, throughout our life time we will find ourselves in a situation where all we can do is wait on Him.. Psalm 37:7 says to wait patiently on Him. In all honesty, I must say that my waiting many times is far from patient. It's more whining, angry and frustrated waiting that eventually yields to a quiet and patient waiting! But Micah 7:7 talks about waiting expectantly on the Lord. My first question of course would be expecting what? When my son was first injured I was waiting for the Lord to come in on a white horse and rescue us from the situation. Of course, that never happened...What are we waiting on then, if i...