Sometimes, it can be good to take some time to reflect on our journey. This week marks the 14th year since my son's tragic wreck. I try to fight back the memories of the nightmare that unfolded over those first few days, weeks, and months, but they tend to flow freely. As the memories play like a slide show in my head, I look for all the gentle reminders that God is on the journey too. The chaplain at Shreveport hospital who took time to encourage me and pray for us day after day, the nursing home that actually let me stay in the room with him for the six months he was there, and countless other ways God has provided for us and shown He was in the mix.
Even though our caregiving journeys are different, God is the common thread that runs through them all. We could probably share stories for hours about times we thought we'd "lose it." But in those midnight hours of the soul, somehow, God was able to reach past our circumstances to rescue our hearts. I don't know about you - but He's done it over and over and over again for me.
What's even more amazing to me is that even when I feel on the brink of despair and I really want to throw in the proverbial towel, He somehow steps in and rights all my wrong thoughts and emotions. Our journeys are all different, but God has handled us all with grace, mercy, and His unending love. I remember the day I realized that absolutely nothing in the Kingdom of God changed when my son's friend pulled out in front of that truck on November 8, 2008. Not one iota of anything God had ever said, not one word in the Bible got dropped because my world was ripped out from under me. And that was where I began the journey to redefining and rebuilding faith.
We've all had many losses on the caregiving journey, but God wasn't one of them. We can feel alone, forgotten, abandoned, and even left for dead (so to speak). But when we gather the strength to look up, we will see Him with His outstretched hand, ready to pull us in for a soul-embrace we'll never forget.
Today, I'll turn my thoughts from my journey to His constant care. My meditations will be shifted to His grace that is sufficient for today, and it is given specifically to "help in time of need." (Hebrews 4:16) I'll remind myself of those days I know He carried me when my strength was gone. I'll just lean into Him a little more this morning, hoping to get close enough to hear His heart still beating for me. Will you join me?
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