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I Wasn't Ready

Chris outside standing in the standing frame

 I never dreamed that Christmases alone would be in my future. But there it was. We had invites, but life didn't give us the go-ahead, so we ended up spending Christmas Eve and Christmas alone this year. It was okay; I was just a little surprised that it happened to us. I don't know why. So, if you spent the holiday alone, I'm sorry. It's a sinking feeling.

Sure, I tried to scan Facebook a time or two, but all I saw were all the happy families spending great times together. I just avoided social media for most of the day, got a lot of work done, and tried to push it all out of my mind. But, boy, did it nag. I wasn't really emotional about it, but it sure hung over my head all day long for the two days. I'll plan differently for next year, that's for sure.

While I focused on working and getting a few projects done, I kept reminding myself that it was no big deal. But nagging thoughts like I'm not important to anyone kept trying to gain ground in my head. I even knew it wasn't true - I had places to go. It just didn't work out so that we could. I hope you didn't have a similar experience, but if you did, now is a great time to remind yourself that God is here - wherever your "here" is today. 

He hasn't unplugged His mercy, and His thread of grace still runs through every aspect of our lives. For this, I am thankful. Whether we spent the holiday with a crowd of family or friends or we spent it all alone, His grace, peace, love, and mercy were all still intact. I love that about God. He never outlines an area He won't enter or touch. He binds our wounds and heals our hurts. And He does it over and over again, for they are many when you are a caregiver.

Today, I'll remind myself that God is right here. I'll let my soul rest in the truth that He's got me covered and surrounded. My meditation will be on His ever-abiding presence and His comfort that remains extended even in my pain. My heart will be grateful that He never forgets about us, and we are not just an item way down on His to-do list either. We are front and center in His mind - He's near the brokenhearted, right? So, He must be right here in our today. So, I'll trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?


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