Skip to main content

Not Strong Enough

Chris in the standing frame

 Do you ever have people compliment you by telling you how strong you are? Occassionally, it happens to me. I try to  be gracious and thank them for their kind words. But inside, I feel oh so weak.As survivors and overcomes of the many obstacles of life, we may look strong. We may also catch some flack for being so independent. But when people don't show up for us, and that happens a lot for caregivers, we learn to kick into survival mode and I can do it myself mode, right? Then they say - you are so strong. I'm like, yeah, right - it's because I have to be.

Experience Speaks Loudly

One time early on in my caregiving journey, I had two routes for my son's future treatment. I called together those who I thought were going to be helpful in his care, as I needed some input. After I explained the options, they both just shrugged their shoulders and said basically, "it's on you, so do what you feel best." I was deflated and disappointed. I trudged forward.

Isn't that what we do a lot? We keep putting one foot in front of the other relying on God to be there for each step. No wonder David said in Psalm 119:105, Your word is a lamp to my feet, and a light to my path. We may not be all that strong, but we are strong enough to wait for Him to illuminate our paths so we can take one more step. Sometimes, it seems like God is our only helper (not that that is all bad), because no one else is there for us.

But then... there's grace.

We can count on His grace to carry us through each day on the days we just can't take it and the days we think we've got it all handled. He's always there to help us along the caregiving path. I can say with no reservation that it is His strength that carries me from one day into the next. He's always provided, even when it seemed there was literally no way to make it. He's always lit my path, even when it was so dark I couldn't see. And on those days when I think surely my soul is going to take it's last breath, He is right there to carry, console, comfort, and care for my soul. Man, He's good isn't He?

Being weak is not a bad thing when you land in the hands of the God of creation.Feeling dazed and confused is not to be feared when God's wisdom is just a prayer away. Being on the proverbial edge is not so bad when you know you're going to fall into the hands of an alert God who is paying attention to every single detail of your life.

Just for Today.

Today, I'll remind myself that God is right here - no matter where my "here" is. I'll comfort my soul by assuring myself that He's got me. He won't let me fall or fail. I'll meditate on His eternal presence in my life - and remind myself that He is here by choice, not because I am strong, but because I am weak. I will rejoice knowing that His strength is made perfect in my weakness. (2 Cor. 12:9)So, I'll just be content and set back and watch Him flex His muscles as I trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?


Popular posts from this blog

Ups and Downs

  Maybe it's just "that time of year" for me, but I've struggled a lot the last few weeks. I still affectionately  call it the caregiver's fog. Lol. Okay, maybe it's not-so-affectionately. I know I can share my true feelings with you guys because you get it. You understand the day-to-day grind of caregiving. The military has a saying about there being no easy day. I think we live in that reality. It's just not easy caring for another whole person, is it? Caregiving presents many difficulties. We can find ourselves alone, so very alone on this journey. It doesn't just go away. We don't just work through it. It seems to go on and on. There are lots of ups and downs - and that can be about every 90 seconds some days. Right? (smile!) As I've been working through this emotional maze the last few days, I turned my thoughts to Daniel. Let's take a realistic look at his circumstances because as we read his story in the Bible, we tend to glamorize i

Seasons Are Temporary

  This morning, I found myself reading in Isaiah 28. I ended up there because I was looking for something in particular, and even though I didn't find what I was looking for, I found what I needed. God's so cool like that, isn't He? My eyes first fell on verse 29, which says in the NKJ: This also comes from the Lord of hosts, Who is wonderful in counsel and excellent in guidance. I rolled that over in my mind and heart a few times and spent a few minutes thinking about how I'd seen His counsel in action in my own life. We've all had those times when we weren't sure what to do or where to go, and suddenly, an idea drops into our thoughts. There are many ways He provides direction for us. He may direct our steps through a passage of scripture, a trusted spiritual leader such as a pastor, a YouTube teacher, and maybe even a lowly blog writer. Lol. No matter how He chooses to deliver His counsel, it comes - but we must listen. After I had rolled these thoughts and t

Seek and Ye Shall Find

 Over the last few weeks, I've been trying to strategize ways of dealing with stress. It's something we all deal with, especially caregivers. I'm walking and exercising more, which helps the body get rid of stress and it helps improve sleep to some degree. But I've also been working on training my thoughts. I've been working on purposefully finding things to be thankful for. At first, it was a bit difficult because let's face it, caregiving is hard work.  This morning, I was plugging Chris into a nebulizer for a breathing treatment as he had an asthma attack yesterday afternoon after we'd been out for a little bit. As I was doing his treatment and his tube feeding, I didn't even really think about it; this "thought" just rolled up out of me. I thought, thank you, Lord, for carrying us through the long night. My own thankfulness surprised me! Lol. I realized at that moment that it's getting easier and easier to be thankful, even for the litt