My Battlefield Ally

When you are a caregiver, the littlest thing can send you over the emotional cliff. Why is that? (So glad you asked!) We live in situations that are stressful and our emotions can be raw. It doesn't take much to cause an avalanche of emotions. We tend to wear our grief and loss on our sleeves so to speak. For me, this morning, it was simply seeing a profile picture on Facebook. The innocent person posted a photo of a male member of her family playing a bass drum in full band dress. It tanked my emotions immediately.

These emotional triggers can be so innocent, so natural, so spontaneous, and very unexpected. I've "bragged" that my emotions can go from a million to zero in less than a second! Lol - but it's true. Triggers can be anywhere and they can tank us so fast! Can I say this? It's a normal, though unpleasant, part of caregiving. Something like a picture, a smell, a memory can knock our emotions off center and have us scrambling for some sort of semblance of peace again.

It is in these times that I can often find comfort in the Psalms. I love how David and the other psalmists are open, raw, and real about their situations and their emotions. In nearly every psalm, David provides at least a verse or two that talk about Who God is and how He acts on David's behalf. Maybe this is how David encouraged himself in the Lord. For instance, take a look at Psalm 144.

David says, Bless the Lord, who is my rock, He gives me strength for war and skill for battle. He is my loving ally and my fortress, my tower of safety, and my deliverer. He stands before me as a shield, and I take refuge in Him. These first 2 verses of psalm 144 are loaded! (NLT) He gives me both strength and skill for whatever I'm facing - and it takes both to win a battle!

David reminds himself that God is his safe place, his fortress, his deliverer, and refuge. But God is also standing out front as a shield. Maybe that's what David sensed when he was eyeballing Goliath's shield. Comparing the two made Goliath's shield look much smaller. This is a great verse for us to read and read, and reread again. It's like a choose-your-own-adventure passage. What do you need today? Do you need to experience God as a shield? Maybe you need a safe place to hide, a refuge. Perhaps, you need a safe place (strong tower) to run to for safety. Choose what you need for today and meditate on it when the emotions get out of hand today!

I got stuck on my ally. An ally is in covenant with you. They promise that when an enemy comes, they will fight with you. Allies have common enemies and join forces to fight them together. As caregivers, our enemies may not be people chasing us down - usually, anyway! But we may fight fear. Doubt. Exhaustion. Anger. Loss.... fill in the blank! God is our ally against every single one of our enemies!

Today, no matter where my thoughts and heart try to carry me - I'll remind myself that God is my ally. I'll remember that He is my battlefield ally who will fight my enemies with me and He will not lose! I will trust Him for the strength and skills to win this day. I'll remind myself to keep bringing it all back to Him over and over again until I can leave it with Him and trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

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