Where'd Y'all Go?

As caregivers we can spend a lot of time alone or with just our loved one. When they are non-verbal, it adds an extra dimension to the loneliness we can feel. Loneliness and depression can be major struggles not only for the caregiver, but for those who are going through life's trials that are continuing with no end in sight.

There are lots of scriptures on encouragement in the Bible; but I noticed that about 80 to 90 percent of them involved someone encouraging another person. I had to chuckle since that's sort of part of the problem for caregivers - there's no person around to offer us that encouragement. This can add to the feelings of aloneness and loneliness. So once again - it's up to us to do it! And that- we can!

First of all, it's important to realize that during those times when we become burdened beneath the load - it is not a lack of faith.If we take an honest look around - we run to Him and cling to Him more tightly when we feel that we cannot take another step. There is no lack of faith for the weary or battle worn soldier-it's inevitable that we will get tired, weary, and oftentimes even discouraged under the daily load of care that we bear. Clinging tightly to our God is not the lack of faith - it's a demonstration that we are still holding on. So don't beat yourself up for being tired, weary, or discouraged...it's part of the package.

In I Samuel 30:6 David found himself in a very tight spot. They had just sent him home from a battle he was really wanting to fight. He was fully capable, ready and willing but some of the men did not fully trust David yet; so the commander sent him home. As he and his men came into camp they found it ransacked and raided. Their wives were gone, their children were taken captive and the warriors were distraught. It says that they wept until there was no strength left to weep. (v.4) Now that's a picture for you - these battle hardened soldiers crying and crying. (I don't feel so bad now! lol)

To add to the discouragement- the other men started talking about stoning David and blaming him for their misfortune. He was in a very tight spot. Just like the caregiver, he found himself in a place with no one there to encourage him. So what did he do? The old KJV says he encouraged himself in the Lord. The NASB says that he strengthened himself in the Lord his God. And that may well be where we are today  - we must encourage ourselves.

Today I will encourage myself by meditating on the truth that God is walking in this living furnace with me - He has not abandoned me. I will meditate on the truth that He  strengthens me to walk this walk. I will also concentrate on clinging to Him today. Will you join me?

The Lord Will Hold Me Close

Psalm 27 seems to have a little bit of everything. David starts out by pretty much disclosing his crazy emotions. He expresses fear and trembling and tries to console himself by saying he will remain confident even if he is attacked. I think many days, as caregivers we can feel like the world continues to attack in an ongoing battle. Our daily struggles can take many forms which can sometimes feel like we were put here on earth to just get others to do their jobs responsibly. (Those who work with health related agencies will understand that one!)

Even as David is consoling himself and working on releasing his fears to God, he begins to think about living in God's house. David states that this is where he is concealed when trouble comes.(NLT) He goes on to say that in God's house he is lifted high above his enemies  and from there he will offer sacrifices, shouts of joy, singing and praise. I am not so sure David is solely talking about the physical temple or tabernacle in Jerusalem. David understood that God was his rock, his hiding place...it looks to me that he was just simply talking about hiding in Him. I want to relearn how to do that.

As the days get tough and continue to be filled with broken, no shattered, dreams and constant pain, or hopelessness we tend to crawl back out away from Him instead of remaining hidden in Him. If we do not protect ourselves we can get so wrapped up in our own pain and fail to keep our eyes on Him - our source of strength. David could get busy running and forget to hide in Him! We are not much different. I've found over the years that we tend to run to our "religion" first - But there is a day that it will no longer make any sense and theological reason is tested and falls short. What a perfect time to return to Him! Theology nor religion can carry us through these days - it will take the supernatural strength of God to carry the load.

David must have understood that even though the struggle was physical, as is ours, he listened for God to call him away. He said in verse 8 - My heart has heard You say,"Come and talk with me." And my heart responds, "Lord, I am coming."  What a beautiful interaction between man and God! In this moment of surrender David states The Lord will hold me close.

Today I will meditate on letting Him hold me close. I will concentrate on simply resting and waiting patiently for Him. I will let Him be my rock today.

It's a big, big house...

One of the difficult parts of being a caregiver is being separated from the mainstream. There are many times that we can feel very alone. And this alone-ness can eat away at your soul. You can feel very disconnected from friends and even family as time goes by. It's not always an every day thing but there are certainly periods of time that you can feel this deep loneliness.It's not really anybody's fault - they mostly just do not know what to do with us since our lives are so different. But we are a part of something much bigger.

Ephesians 2:19 says this you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and are of God's household...Somehow even in the loneliness there is comfort in knowing that we are a part of His household. We are not separated from God nor the true body of Christ. If we think about how huge His household must be it helps to bring comfort and wash away a small bit of the alone-ness.

We think of our household as those who are residing with us in this present time. But God's household spans all time. Every person that we read about in scriptures that followed after God is in His household. All the believers from the beginning of time to the very second you are reading this post - are all in His household. As big as it is - we are a part of it!

Take some time today to think about your rich heritage in Christ. He took away all the walls of separation and made us into one body. God's family encompasses time - and we fit nicely into His household. Instead of dwelling on the present alone-ness today - consider how Christ has made us a part of His eternal family.

Looking for Peace?

The caregiver's life is never dull. There are all sorts of activities and duties that demand our time and at times it can be very hectic. Some days come and go peacefully without any huge mishaps; and some days there can be one thing after another that occurs to disrupt our peace. Some think that just because we are basically home bound we sit around bored all day with nothing to do! The caregiver doesn't even have time to think about getting bored most of the time! We are more likely looking for 5 minutes to grab here and there where we can just sit and breathe! Peace can seem far away...

 I stumbled across this scripture in my reading this morning and it have given me much to think about concerning peace. Isaiah 32:17 says this: and the work of righteousness will be peace, and the service of righteousness quietness and confidence forever. 

 How does one do the work of righteousness? We are righteous by the blood of Christ...this is not speaking of getting righteous; but the work of righteousness. When I yield to the work of righteousness in my heart, then the fruit will be peace. Even though the world around me is full of stress and many activities - in my heart I am full of peace. And as I am yielded to the full work of righteousness that Christ has done and is doing in my heart and life, righteousness will serve me up a full serving of quietness and confidence!

 This kind of quietness and confidence brought about by His work of righteousness in my life will reveal a strength to carry me peacefully through my day! Isaiah 30:15 reminds us that through quietness and trust  we find our strength in Him. so walk confidently through today - trusting in His work in you. He will never fail to carry you through your day! Want peace? Rest in His work...

My Hiding Place

This time of year can get very crazy real quick! For those who are shut in (or mostly shut in) it can be very difficult. Everyone is even busier trying to get all their shopping done and all the arrangements made for their celebrations. But for the caregiver many times, things do not change just because it is Christmas; or any other holiday for that matter. Because of the busy-ness even fewer people come or call. On one hand, it is understood; on the other the loneliness can deepen.

 But during this very busy time of year we must remember that He remains our hiding place. The psalmist said in Psalm 9:7: You are my hiding place; You preserve me from trouble; You surround me with songs of deliverance. And He does! Whether our lives have become extremely hectic this time of year, or extremely lonely He continues to protect us and to hide us in His shelter.
 

 I think the part I like even more about this verse is that while we are hidden in Him - He surrounds us with songs. I like to picture myself wrapped up in Him like a cozy, comfy, warm blanket all snuggled up and safe. (maybe sipping a cup of hot cocoa too!) And I quietly listen to Him sing about deliverance. Don't you like that picture? While sometimes my days seem too hectic to allow the image to remain too long in my head - it is a pleasant one for a few minutes! Today I will try to bring my thoughts back to this place: the place where I am hidden in Him. I think I like it that it is not all my choice; but His as well. As happy as I am to be snuggled up with Him, listening to Him sing over me - He is just as happy to have me there! Isn't that good to know? Relax today - rest in Him. Forget about the holiday - think about Him today!

Just Like Everyone Else

The life of a caregiver is certainly not an easy one! Yet I am sure that there are far worse circumstances to have to deal with. But this can be a lonely and painful walk. Each day can present various situations that must be overcome; obstacles that seem insurmountable.But we are still breathing; and we are still caregiving - so we must still be learning to trust in Him to take us one more day! Challenging pretty much sums up our lives, doesn't it? lol!

 I have found that just because my life is lived in a cave of adversity, it does not exempt me from the requirements laid out in the Word. So far I have not found one time when there was a command given and special stipulations were given for caregivers; or any other sufferers for that matter. (but I am still looking! lol!) Jesus did not say give to those who ask and do not turn away from those who want to borrow - unless you are a caregiver in which case you don't have to worry about it! It does not read like that anywhere! We still have the same solid word, the same constant commands to follow as everyone else. But this is good - because it also means that we have His peace, comfort and joy accessible to us - just like everyone else!

 So when I read this scripture in Philipians this morning I knew that we do not get a "break" just because we are caregivers: In everything you do, stay away from complaining and arguing so that no one can speak a word of blame against you. You are to live clean, innocent lives as children of God in a dark world full of crooked and perverse people. (Philippians 2:14) We do not get an exception on this command even though we live in adversity!

 If we are not careful (maybe I should just say if I am not careful) it is easy to complain about many things. We have lost many things in life that brought us to the journey of caregiving. It is so very important to train our minds to find the things to be thankful for each day. So today instead of letting the situation get us down - let us turn our focus onto the way He has provided for us in the situation. Let us concentrate and meditate on His peace, His love and His care for us even in the midst of life's ongoing storm.

Stir it Up!

One of the most discussed topics at online caregiver support groups is the loneliness. It seems to be a common thread that runs through the very core of the pain and heaviness that comes with the territory. And for many it comes because of the lack of ability to get out. For some it's possible to get out on occasion, but so difficult and challenging it's just not practical. So there is not too much contact with the outside world...and that means no church attendance either. This can be draining for the caregiver.

That means that Bible study, devotions and fellowship with God is even more necessary. Sure, there may not be a "Christian support group" (which can be the role the church plays for many) to encourage us in our walk, and even though it's not necessary for our spiritual growth, it would be nice! But once again it's left solely in our hands to stir ourselves up to seek the Lord. Honestly, it's an individual thing for everyone, not just the caregiver.

This scripture in Isaiah 64:7 about stirring oneself up is in the middle of a cry for help from the prophet Isaiah. He's really asking God to tear the heavens apart and come to His people, come rescue them and let His presence be known. Verse 4 says this from days of old they have not heard or perceived by ear, nor has the eye seen a God besides You, who acts in behalf of the one who waits for Him. He goes on to talk about how God meets those who wait for Him and then he comes to verse 7 - where he says he hasn't seen anyone who would arouse himself to take hold of God.

There are two key things for our meditation today. One, that God acts on behalf of those who wait for Him; and two we can stir ourselves up to take hold of Him. There are no stipulations to these two actions - no unless you are in a difficult situation, and no but if's either. It's plain and simple, it's in our power even in our pain to take hold of Him and walk with Him.And as we wait for Him , He will show Himself strong on our behalf. Take time today to take hold of Him.

Circumstance and Faith

Caregivers can come under fire from the church community and be accused of lacking faith. It's a sad truth,but it does happen. Hopefully, you've been spared from such accusations. It's not the church's fault - they really don't know what to do with us because our situations are very different. Some actually expect us to be able to function just like normal people. But we do not have the liberties that many others enjoy.Lots of caregivers are pretty much stuck at home without the freedom to come and go as we would like. It can be devastatingly lonely at times. And then the church ignores us pretty much...maybe they don't know how little it takes...

How can they say we have no faith since our loved one isn't healed? When Jesus went to the pool of Bethesda  there was a multitude of those who were sick, blind, lame and withered. Yet He only healed one of them. Did the entire multitude fall into the ranks of the faithless? I think not. To me they had some measure of faith just to be there waiting for the troubled water...

I propose that those who are in extremely adverse situations have great faith. Come on, give yourself a break, you're still believing in Him and looking to Him as your source aren't you? Then you have faith- you still believe in Him!

As a caregiver no doubt there has been some sort of earth shattering tragedy on some level that has put you in your present circumstance. Isaiah 54:10 says this:

For the mountains may be removed and the hills may shake,

But My lovingkindness will not be removed from you,

And My covenant of peace will not be shaken,

says the Lord who has compassion on you.

Even when our world is shaken, He is not moved. Even though we cannot live the normal life, He has not forsaken us, He has not moved away (like it seems others have), He doesn't look at how our world fell around us to see if He will stay or not - He cannot be moved! His lovingkindness cannot be moved away from us. And actually, I think that this is what sustains us! Let His lovingkindness under gird you today. Rest in Him, trust Him! He cannot be shaken and is never moved by our circumstances.

When We Feel Alone

The lack of socialization can really hit the caregiver hard. For some of us, there basically isn't any. Perhaps an occasional family outing or someone stopping by. But really, when it comes to our emotional health, family doesn't count! We need friends. But where do they come from when you cannot get out like others do to meet them? The times we are consumed with this alone-ness is when we must be reminded that He will not leave us but is always with us. The journey doesn't get too long for Him!

Scriptures are full of times He was with people. He showed Moses He was with him in the burning bush, and then told Joshua that he was going to be with him just like He was with Moses. psalm 46 says two or three times that the God of Jakob is with us.

Jesus told His followers that He would not leave them alone and Hebrews 13:5 quotes the promise He gave Moses and Joshua - He said He would never leave or forsake us. But sometimes when it's quiet I need to be reminded that He is with me...don't you?

So today be encouraged and lift up your head. You are important enough for Him to be with you today! And He has no where else to go! So take it to heart and let His presence be with you today!