The God of Endurance and Encouragement

Here we go, ready to face another day and take all the challenges that will be thrown at us straight up! That's what caregivers do - like Benaiah who ran into the snowy pit to kill the lion - we take on each day full force and straight in! (2Samuel 23:20-21) And we are here ready to take on our most challenging battles too!

Did you ever wonder what it would be like to go back to having normal days? Days without mobility issues, incontinent issues or feeding someone else? It's not that we mind the caretaking, it's what we do! Remember the days when we used to get up to go to work - and complain about that instead? lol! Hindsight makes us long for the things we used to dread! huh?

One of the questions that arises in my heart is will the rest of my life look like this? It can be haunting to think I will live out the next however many years simply caring for my son. It's not that I mind and can make the mental adjustments but it's like is this all there is? And that's when I need help.

I stumbled on Romans 15 this week.The subject is totally on something else but the first part of verse 5 stood out to me. Paul was praying for the Christians in Rome to walk in unity but he used this phrase that captured my attention: May the God of endurance and encouragement...after that I wasn't too much concerned about the prayer that follows.

 I spent some time thinking about that phrase - that the Lord is the God of both of these things that we, as caregivers, must rely on every day. He gives us the endurance to complete each task and the encouragement to hang in there! So as you go about your day today think about the ways and the extremes He goes to just to make sure that you don't lose hope. Think about the various ways He sends encouragement each day - and don't limit those possibilities. Sometimes it's as simple as catching a funny movie or commercial that makes you laugh out loud! He is the God of encouragement and endurance...and He is our God...He will see us through today's challenges!

Can We Swallow Our Pride?

Have you ever been tired just by getting up? All the things that have to be done for the day are already nagging at your mind and it seems overwhelming. As a caregiver there's not an "off" button or and I'll-do-it-later clause. We have to keep moving putting one foot in front of the other.

Personally, my son is quite a bit larger than I am and I am a pretty small framed woman. Some of my friends admitted later that they had all sorts of doubts when I said I wanted to bring him home from the nursing home. I was scared too. And sometimes all those thoughts can still be rather overwhelming.

But as we face each day with even what seems like insurmountable tasks we can rest in the truth that the Lord is my help. Isaiah 50:9 states exactly that Behold the Lord God helps me...Most of us are pretty quick to recognize that without His help we could not do what we do!

Psalm 121 comes to mind too. In it the psalmist asks, where does my help come from?  Then he answers his own question with the stark realization that my help comes from the Lord. Sometimes we have to move over a little, and maybe eve swallow a little pride now and then - and let Him help us. Today my meditation will be on the Lord, my helper. I will try to recognize today and meditate on all the ways He helps me!

Tender Nurturing

Being a full time caregiver is a tough job. There are many days we may only hear our own voice. Some days we can get out - but many days we are sitting staring at the same four walls. Sure, whenever our personal "tragedy" happened (whatever form it took) there were tons of people around. All or most of them assuring us they would walk it with us. But gradually, they all go about their lives and leave us to suffer in ours.

I don't blame anyone for that...they meant well and probably genuinely cared. But then when it came to the reality of the circumstances they didn't know how to incorporate us back into their lives as everything had changed. Well, it does hurt some - but no reason to be angry or take it personal. From what I understand it's just the way it is. It's always happened this way for everyone! So we are not so special! lol...

The psalmist cited in Psalm 27:10 that even though my father and mother forsake me ...the Lord will take me up. And what's He going to do with us? Isaiah 40:11 - He will tend His flock, in His arms He will gather the lambs and carry them in His bosom; He will gently lead the nursing ewes. I'd like to think of caregivers as nursing ewes. That is the nurturing side of us. I had never seen myself as a gentle nurturer before my son's accident. But I recognize those qualities now. And God is doing the same for us that we are doing for someone else...that's amazing! He is tenderly caring for us in our most painful situations...that's just too cool...I can rest in that!

There Are No Days "Off"

Did you ever just wake up tired? It's a tired that goes beyond physical.  The kind of tired I am talking about is physical, emotional, mental...you name it just tired through and through. We will never be able to sleep that tired away! It is simply too deep!

I was putting my son back in the bed this morning and I told him he could lay down early and we'd take it a little easier  today. I said, "We don't really get a day off, but we can make a day a little lighter." So we are...today. But then when we try to relax, as caregivers, their is the guilt that is associated with it. Thoughts start coming like, I'm not doing enough to care for my loved one.....or...I am not taking good care of him... these can just nag away at our mind and soul - if we let them.

Even when we take a day somewhat easy - there's not any time to be off. We can't just not do  all the things that need to be done. They have to be changed, tube fed, turned in the bed, entertained...and so forth whether we feel like it or not! And that's why we are tired...

In thinking about how tired we can become I thought of an interesting scripture. It's in Isaiah 40:28 and it goes like this:  Have you not known? Have you not hard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; His understanding is unsearchable.

 I am so glad God doesn't get tired of us! And I know I can whine a lot -- but it will never make Him weary. Actually Jesus beckoned us to come and give Him our burdens and be yoked up with Him. Paul told us to cast all your care on the Lord...He really does understand; He really does listen and care-- and He never tires of caring for us and giving us strength!

Who's Gonna Carry Me?

Recently I watched a very inspiring video. A college student hit her first ever home run but tore something in her knee and couldn't make it past first base. The other runners ran for home but she was stranded on first. Her team couldn't help her because it would forfeit the run and make it only a two run single. A couple of young ladies on the other team picked her up and carried her across the rest of the bases to home plate! I was so inspired...then I started thinking about it...I've been in this pain (which can be immobilizing at time for the cargiver) for 2 and a half years. What if I cannot get past a "first base" that may come up in our lives? Who would carry me to the goal?

In the video it was the opposing team's members who carried her. Now you know, our opponent is Satan and he ain't gonna help us out in the least! lol! But when I am wounded, or hurting, or can't go on...Who's gonna carry me?

The church disappeared a short way into this journey of caregiving. So I cannot really count on them. I have a few friends here...but will they carry me?

So I began a short search for scriptures and found one most interesting. Deuteronomy 1:30-31 states this The Lord your God who goes before you will himself fight for you, just as He did for you in Egypt before your eyes, and in the wilderness, where you have seen how the Lord your God carried you, as a man carries his son, all the way that you went until you came to this place.

 Somehow it was a very comforting thought that He intentionally went after His people who were bound in Egypt, set them free, then carried them through the wilderness to safety. He certainly didn't make all their problems and obstacles disappear (that would of course be my choice!) but He did not abandon them to the wilderness either! He will carry us through when the pain is too much to bear. I love the thought of Him carrying me like a father gently carries his son!

Challenges are...Well...Challenging!

Many times caregivers are faced with huge challenges. It can sometimes simply be trying to make it through a particularly rough day. These are different for each of us. For my situation it's been transfers. That's not the only one of course - but that was the scariest part of bringing my son home.

As he has improved and I have improved my techniques it has become quite easy - or at least I don't dread it as much. I used to sit and contemplate each transfer and worry about it. Then after it was done I'd be relaxed and reward myself with a cup of coffee! Now it is just part of the day...

We start to get used to our own surrounding no matter what type of challenges they present to us. And maybe it doesn't get any easier, we just get more accustomed to doing them. We adapt to inadequacies and learn how to do what we have to do. Face it - we really have no other choice - it has to be done!

I've often wondered if God looks at us in our own frail state and contemplates how He is going to transfer us. You know, He has to move us from point A to point B even in our circumstance. As we learn to listen to Him and lean on Him I think those transfers get a little easier. sometimes He must lift us more than others and sometimes we can help out a lot!

I am not going to give up on caregiving no matter how challenging it is or it becomes. And God is not going to give up on us either. As a matter of fact one of my all time favorite scriptures is Romans 8:38-39. It says that there is absolutely nothing that can separate us from His love... nothing! It's also interesting to note that earlier in the same chapter Paul wrote the sufferings of this present time cannot even be compared with the glory to come. I think my trouble is that I concentrate on the trouble of the present time  more than I think about the glory to come!

So today - my meditations will be on the glory to come...and I have a sense that when I place my thoughts and heart on His glory - the present pain and trouble will fade into it...

Through the Storm

There are many ups and downs in the life of a caregiver. One minute (literally) there can be excitement and the very next emotions can totally bottom out. Believe me - this is no indication of sanity or the lack thereof! We know days, moments, and seconds can go up and down. There are good days and bad days.

Some days it seems easy to keep a handle on things (ie - things are going well!). Other days it seems like life has passed us by and there is so much on our plate and it's just difficult to handle even the little things. Days like that make it difficult to remember that He directs our steps. Actually, when things are difficult it's easy (at least for me) to become angry with God because the steps of life have taken this direction into full time caregiving...

He never promised us that everything would be easy or simple. He did not even create the earth as one great plain with no ups and downs. He created the mountain heights as well as the valleys low. And it all balances out into one perfectly functioning ecosystem.

Proverbs 15:19 states: the way of the sluggard is as a hedge of thorns, but the path of the upright is a level highway. Now, if you are a caregiver I can assure you that you are no sluggard! There's no room for laziness when someone else's daily living rests in your care. Our promise here is that He will level it all out.

He brings peace when it doesn't even make any sense. He provides every necessary thing to live a godly life. (2Peter 1:3) Look that one up - because He says that His divine power has given everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him...and there's no exclusion there for the caregiver! He will provide even in the storm. That's something that we can grab ahold of each moment of the day...His hope will carry us through. His nature will sustain us! Cling to Him today and rest in His hope and strength.