More than Adequate Protection

There have been many times in my life when I have turned to Psalm 27; it just has it all. David talks about trusting the Lord in a very intimate way even through some very tough situations. The psalmist is honest about his feelings and speaks of dread and fear. As he usually does, David reminds himself of Who God had been in his life and asks God to "not abandon or forsake" him. He also takes the time to ask God to teach him, lead him and protect him.

One of the verses that sticks out to me today particularly is verse 5. Here David says: in the day of trouble He will conceal me in His tabernacle; in the secret place of His tent He will hide me... Not just any day - but the day of trouble - God will hide us. And not hide us just anywhere - He hides us in His tabernacle; and in the secret place of His tent. To me this speaks of intimacy. God doesn't just drop us in a cave somewhere and put His hand over the entrance so the enemy can't find us. Even though that would provide adequate protection, He hides us in His secret place. He hides us in His heart - where life cannot touch us or destroy us.

Perhaps with this intimacy in mind David penned the final verse to this psalm. The first 13 verses seem to be written in  third person. David is speaking about his own personal experience. He's crying out for the Lord to hear him, rejoicing in the Lord's victory and asking God to teach him, lead him, and protect him. But in the final verse it's as if he turns to address the rest of the world and he gives more of a command. Maybe he had no idea of the multitude who would read this passage and find hope when he addresses the reader directly by saying:

Wait for the Lord;

Be strong and let your heart take courage;

Yes, wait for the Lord.

He changes from first and third person to second person and reminds us all to wait for the Lord. The old King James Version translated it this way: Wait on the Lord; be of good courage and He shall strengthen your heart. "Let your heart take courage" and "He will strengthen your heart" both indicate to me that we must yield to Him and wait for Him and allow Him to strengthen us and encourage us.  Waiting on Him means we let Him do the work while we rest in His faithfulness.

Today I will meditate on His faithfulness and His protection. I will purposefully move out of the way and allow Him to provide intimate protection. I will trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

There it is again!

There are many scriptures that talk about waiting on God. It seems to be a favorite theme that runs throughout the psalms. Psalm 62 is just one of the many times there is mention of waiting on Him. Actually, the first verse of this psalm begins with a declaration of My soul waits in silence for God only. Not only is the psalmist, David saying his soul is waiting for God, but he is doing so in silence. Now I don't know about you, but it can be a rare thing for my soul  to be silent. My mouth may not be making a sound but my head and heart are going a hundred miles an hour (on a slow day!).

As a caregiver it can feel like we are always in "waiting mode." Even getting up in the morning means waiting to see what the day will hold. How will our loved one respond to care today? Will the aide show up today? Will supplies arrive on time? Am I going to be able to go grab some groceries or will something preempt it? And that's all the thoughts that start running after hitting the snooze the first time. But no matter how hectic the day starts out we have to learn to wait on God alone. We have to learn to trust Him in every situation.

Psalm 62:5 says My soul, wait in silence for God only, for my hope is from Him. Even though he started the psalm with this thought it's like he needs to remind himself to wait - in silence. Then it seems like he is reminding himself of who God is to him:

My rock

My salvation

My stronghold

My glory

My strength

My refuge

I will trust Him at all times.

I can truly pour out my heart before Him because He is a safe place. He knows what we are going through and understands each intricate detail of our crazy lives. But He never condemns or judges us. He even understands the thousands of thoughts that run through our heads in just a few seconds. And you know what? It doesn't scare Him off! 

Our task is to quiet our souls before Him. This can be a true act of worship as we learn to become quiet before God and wait on Him. 

Today I will work on quieting my soul before my God. I will meditate on trusting Him more fully. I will work on surrendering my mind, will and emotions to Him as an act of worship. Will you join me?

What are you Waiting for?

Yesterday my mind kept going back to a very familiar passage in Isaiah 40. As a runner, I wish this scripture could be more literal. (smile) Verse 31 says They that wait on the Lord will renew their strength, they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary. (NASB)

We are all waiting on God for something. Perhaps we are waiting to have peace over a situation, wisdom for a decision, answers to our questions or hope to arise in our hearts. Waiting is the hard part once we've put it out there before God. Maybe it's because we don't know when the answer will come, or how He's going to answer us. But we can be assured, that He will answer - even if we miss it when it comes.

In the natural, we do get tired; and we do become weary. It's just part of the caregiving package. There are nights with little or no sleep, big decisions that have to be made concerning someone else's health and comfort, and endless chores that have to be done when taking care of another whole person. We can get tired just thinking about the things that have to be done before noon! Weariness is no fun, and it's often not easy to crawl out of, especially without help. I would define being tired as needing to rest; it's where getting a quick nap or sitting down for a bit helps you regain some strength and energy. But weariness is a tougher critter to beat. It's when you are tired and busted body, soul and even spirit. It's bound to happen at some point when you are a caregiver.

Over the last few years, I've learned to adjust the load of caregiving so that I don't wear  out as easily. And over time we can adjust to what many call the "new normal" of caregiving. Our crazy daily routines become easier to bear as we make the necessary adjustments. It's no different than any other situation in that in time we learn coping skills and strategies to make days run more smoothly. (Of course that's not counting the surprises that have to be dealt with.)

It gets easier the sooner we learn to wait on the One who does not get tired (v.28) for our strength. Most of the time - we know very well we cannot carry the load on our own. We have to wait on Him - the only One Who can help us with it. The One who does not get tired will help us keep from becoming weary as we wait for His strength, comfort and hope. When we wait for Him or "hope in Him" as some versions interpret "waiting on Him;" then we learn to trust Him more. He gives us the strength to take one more step and make it one more day.

Today I will meditate on trusting Him more fully. I'll turn my thoughts to resting in Him and waiting for Him. And I will think about the hope, comfort and strength He gives me. I'll concentrate on accepting His hope for today; and I'll let Him carry me through it. Will you join me?

Do I have to Choose?

This morning I had a couple of scriptures on my mind as I puttered about and got my tutoring done early. The one from 1 Thessalonians 5:23 is still fresh on my mind: Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely and may your whole body, soul and spirit be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.  There are only about 3 or 4 times when Paul uses the phrase God of peace. He uses it here and in Romans a couple of times. And of course, Isaiah says that He is the Prince of Peace.

We have the God of peace or the Prince of Peace living right inside of us. Now that hits me as just a little bit funny since the caregiver's daily life can resemble just about anything but peace. I don't know if it's ever not hectic! I would probably use just about any word to describe daily activities - except peaceful. While each caregiver's journey differs, my days are filled with constant activities like laundry, cooking and pureeing foods, straightening the house (this really doesn't happen all that often!), talking to various health care professionals, feeding, changing, bathing, transferring, providing stimuli (without providing too much), designing and doing therapeutic activities (standing frame, puzzles, range of motion) and whew! I'm tired already. And I haven't even touched the things we have to do to keep ourselves sane and happy. It can become quite the circus.

So after I think about how He is the God of peace in my own life - my thoughts shift to another scripture. In Romans 15:13 Paul says this: May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.  This scripture has been I have meditated on for years. I guess I just love the thought of this God of hope filling me with joy and peace so that I have more hope in Him.

We can see He is the God of peace and  hope. Do I ever have to choose between hope and peace? It seems more like a package deal. We get all of Him when His Spirit resides in us as believers. So it seems that all of His hope and peace would be there as well. I do not have to choose between hope and peace - I get the full package deal! He fills us with His hope - AND He fills us with His peace. I think that's a pretty powerful combination and I can use an extra supply of both.

God does not give us just parts of Himself - He fills us up with all He is. There isn't a junior Holy Spirit for kids; or a senior Holy Spirit for the elderly. There is no "special editions" for special cases like caregivers. We get Holy Spirit working in our lives and He will continue to work to the degree we yield to Him - no matter what situation we are in. Ephesians 3:16 says that we are strengthened in our inner man - just by Him being present  in us.

Today I will be thankful that I get the full package deal and that the Spirit of God is at work in me - even in my situation. I will meditate on the truth that He comes with peace and  hope and I don't have to choose between the two. I will purposefully yield myself to Him and allow God to work in my life today -- and be strengthened by the truth that He still works in me - the caregiver. Will you join me?

An Apple a Day

Did you ever have a day where you felt totally overwhelmed by your situation? Maybe it's just me, but there are days when I get up and just don't feel like facing all the commotion. Caregiving isn't like just having a job - we can't call in  to work and say we are not coming. Maybe David had some sort of sense of the oppressive forces at work when he said in Psalm 17:9 that the wicked oppress me and the deadly enemies surround me. Caregiving is an all-consuming situation. You're all-in like it or not! And for many of us there isn't a break in sight with no one to lighten the load. Now I know we can adjust to our lives and everyday is not a huge burden. But what do we do with those days where we do  feel overwhelmed? I think verse 8 has our answer. David penned:

Keep me as the apple of Your eye

Hide me under the shadow of Your wings...

That's my heart's desire on good days and bad. I just want to know that God still sees me and that He is still walking through the fire with me. Someone asked me yesterday, how do you know God loves you? My answer was simple - He hasn't left me yet. Even when I've been angry at Him about the situation, He can handle the big stuff and the hard questions. He has stayed with me through the fight (even the one I put up).

I think the heart of this scripture could be summed up this way: God, cherish me in my trouble! Value me even in my distress! It can be easy when caregiving takes over our lives to feel like we have lost value. For me, it meant feeling like I was no longer an asset, but a liability or a burden to others. But you know what? We are all valuable to Him. We are cherished, loved and adored by our God, no matter what type of situation we have found ourselves in.

It's important to note that the psalmist's request to be valued during the fight is reciprocated by God. In Proverbs 7:2 Solomon (David's son by the way) says to keep the Word of God as the apple of your eye. We should value the Word of God just as much as we desire to be valued. And as we value His word, and alter our lives to match it - we will find that we are highly favored of the Lord. Nothing about the way he values us changed when we became caregivers! 

God never changes his promises or His conditions based on our circumstances. He will always love us. He is always with us. He still requires holiness from us. There are no exclusionary statements or exemptions handed out for caregivers! We will always be the apple of His eye. We will always be cherished and loved by our Father.

Today I will meditate on the truth that He will not leave me alone in the struggle. He is with me and He not only loves me deeply - he values and cherishes me. My goal is to reciprocate that to Him; to cherish and value Him above everything else. Will you join me?

It's Out There!

Psalm 91 used to be one of my favorite psalms, until my son was involved in an automobile accident that left him incapacitated. For a long time I found Psalm 91 very frustrating - since God did not protect my son. In another blog I openly sorted through emotions and faith. As I slowly got my bearings and tried to continue to trust the Lord again - I learned to love this passage once again; but from a totally different perspective.

I no longer see it as a cure-all and a "lucky charm" that keeps all trouble far away. It's not so much that trouble stays so far away - it's that He keeps us safe during the storm, during the trouble and through tribulation. If you will read past verse one you'll find some pretty interesting things like:

the snare of the fowler

perilous pestilence

terror by night

destruction laying wait at noonday

plagues

lions and cobras

All of that is out there! And it's not far away. It's a scary place for sure. It's not like we hide in Him for refuge and all this goes away. There's a war going on and danger lurking all around. But He keeps us in the midst of the danger. Think about verses 12-13. Yay - we can tread on lions and trample serpents. But do you know how close you'd have to be  to them to be able to do that? Think about it. 

Yes - all of that is out there. But God will keep our souls even in the darkest, most dangerous times. Our being is hidden in Him and there is nothing that can reach our soul. Verse 15 is God speaking and He says  I will be with them in trouble.  He did not say He would not let trouble happen - but that we have a place to hide to ride out the storm.

Today I will meditate on hiding in Him even though life around me is rumbling. Instead of worrying about my situation - I'll rest in Him and think about His mercies carrying me through this day. Will you join me?

Superlatives Allowed!

As a general rule we are taught to avoid superlatives. Who hasn't been bitten in the back side by saying I'm never going to (fill in the blank) again!? I catch myself saying things like It always happens like that...  When we use superlatives - it means there is no room for any alternatives. Using always and never in particular doesn't leave any wriggle room, no exceptions allowed. But Paul seemed to like superlatives and in 1 Thessalonians 5 he didn't leave the believer any wriggle room when he penned:

Rejoice Always

Pray without Ceasing

In everything give thanks

Test all things - hold fast what is good

Abstain from every form of evil

When we look at it that way- it's quite the bill to fill. There were no exclusionary statements for any of these instructions. Notice Paul didn't say "in everything give thanks unless your situation is particularly trying or difficult." He didn't instruct the believers to "rejoice always unless you are a caregiver who just can't find joy in the day." He wrote these as instructions to believers in the Body of Christ. He gave no exceptions, no leeway - just do it - always.

I'll be the first to tell you that there are days it is difficult to find something to rejoice about, or to be thankful for. But usually, if we look hard enough - we can find something. Even though each of our situations are unique and we have our own set of daily trials to walk through we can heed and obey Paul's instructions here. We probably get close to praying without ceasing; but the other rules can be very difficult.

The caregiver's situation is a stressful one, and can take a toll on the mind, body and spirit after awhile. It might take some serious effort to accomplish these tasks. But they really just make sense for living life - no matter what that looks like. While we may not be thankful for our situation - we can find something to be thankful for - we are still breathing, we have food on the table, the sun is shining and the birds are singing. I've learned that sometimes it's the littlest things that bring joy to the heart. We can give in to the joy of a child's laughter, a beautiful song, a special message from a friend, or having the time to sit down and breathe for a minute or two. If we give in - it doesn't take much.

When we take the broader look at where we are there are many reasons to rejoice. God sent His word to heal us. He has not left us - and is available for us - constantly by our side. The power of the cross is not weakened by our trying circumstances and the word did not change when we became a caregiver. His word endures forever - even through the battles life brings. God is with us and He's in it for the long haul. 

Today I will meditate on the things I can be thankful for. Even if I can't see the "light at the end of the tunnel" I will keep my eyes open and watching for reasons to rejoice in Him today. Will you join me?

Follow Peace

In both letters to the Thessalonians, Paul started out by saying Grace to you and peace from God our father and Jesus Christ our Lord. He knew that their lives were being turned upside down by the opposition they were facing so I think he started his letter by speaking peace over them. Like the caregiver, I'm sure they needed an extra amount of peace.

Caregiving is not thought of as peaceful - even on our best days when things go "as planned." We face numerous decisions and the difficulty is in making them for someone else. Finding peace is not always easy. My Uncle Calvin's go-to advice was always "follow peace." Even though he's been gone home now for many years - I find myself returning to that nugget when I am faced with decisions, especially troubling ones. Sometimes it's easy to sort things out and determine the most peaceful solution; other times it just ain't happening!

If we as caregivers need anything - I'd say it's peace. Without peace we

can't make decisions

can't enjoy life

can't enjoy others

can't sleep

can't eat

Peace is a necessary component of our lives and yet it can seem so far away. In the craziness of a day it can be difficult to remember that the God of peace lives right inside us. We already have access to His peace. The trick is following it  or letting it  rule our hearts.

The Thessalonians are not the only group of Christians that Paul ministered peace to. He said to the Roman Christians:  Now the God of peace be with you all. (Romans 15:33) He also spoke to the Corinthians about the God of peace in 2 Corinthians 13:11 Paul said: Be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace and the God of love and peace will be with you.  Fact is - he started or ended nearly every one of his letters to the churches speaking of the peace of God. 

I pray that everyone reading this blog today will be overwhelmed by His peace. And I pray that you will allow His peace to reign. Sometimes His peace comes and it doesn't make sense to have peace so we dismiss it - today I hope we will all embrace His peace.

Today I will meditate on the truth that God (and His peace) is with me - and is in me. I will purposefully yield myself to His peace and let it rule in my heart. I won't listen to the craziness around me - I will concentrate on yielding to His peace. Will you join me?

Great Generic Prayers for Caregivers

The Thessalonians lived in turmoil, conflict, tribulation and trials. The caregiver journey can be one which is very trying too. Our days are filled with activities beyond what "normal" families deal with. Many of us have to basically do everything twice; once for our loved one and then for ourselves. This is especially true for those who require total care. It can mean you get a shower, get dressed and eat breakfast; and you have to get another adult showered, dressed and fed as well. And if they have any sort of special diet it means making two separate breakfasts, lunches, suppers and snacks throughout the day. No matter what your caregiving journey looks like - it's not easy.

It can be difficult for people to know how to pray for caregivers. What is it that we need? (A break - we all say in unison!*smile*) Physical help is not always feasible even when people care about you and your situation greatly. And it can be very difficult to know how to pray for the caregiver. 1 and 2 Thessalonians has some scriptures that I like to call "generic prayers." These are fitting for anyone in any situation. We all need them! These are the things that Apostle Paul prayed for the Thessalonians who were going through some very rough times. While I'm speaking specifically for praying for caregivers, these are good - use them for everybody prayers! You can pray that:

God establishes their hearts before Him (I Thess. 3:13)

the God of peace sanctifies them completely, 

and preserves them body, soul and spirit (I Thess. 5:23)

God fulfills His good pleasure in them,

and completes the work of faith with power

He is glorified in them according to His grace (2 Thess.1:11-12)

God comforts their hearts and establishes them

in every good word and work. (2 Thess.2:16-17)

God directs their hearts into His love and into the patience of Christ(2 Thess. 3:5)

God will give them peace always in every way (2 Thess. 3:16)

As a caregiver I find just reading these scriptures encouraging. We did not lose our desire to be holy before Him or to be complete in Him when we became caregivers. There's no button to push to turn off the desire to love Him with all our heart, body, soul, mind and strength. But it can get very cloudy from a caregiver's point of view. Somehow these scriptures, whether prayed or read help clear my view of Him. They help bring peace and hope back into my heart. They are great scriptures to use to pray for caregivers and anyone else for that matter. 

Today I am going to meditate on these scriptures from Thessalonians. As I meditate on His word I'm going to let them melt away the turmoil and allow His peace to reign in my heart. I'll turn my thoughts to what He has done for me - not toward my situation. And I will rejoice that His thoughts and plans for me did not change when I became a caregiver. Will you join me?

The Word at Work

As I sat down for my morning devotions over the weekend I found myself in 1 Thessalonians. One thing I noticed about both first and second Thessalonians is that Paul starts them both out mentioning the afflictions, trials, tribulations, and turmoil the church was going through. But even after acknowledging the conflicts and troubles the Christians were facing Paul offered some comforting words.

In the last part of 1 Thessalonians 2:13, Paul states:  the word of God which effectively works in you who believe. He did not make it seem like they didn't  believe just because they were facing troubles and trials. He actually encouraged them by acknowledging the fact that they are still believers and the Word still works in them.

Sometimes "church people" can make it seem like if you are in a trial or tribulation you do not believe or at least you don't have faith. Paul indicated no such thing here to the Thessalonians. You know, it's not like Holy Spirit packs up and moves out when the going gets tough! He never looks around and says something like, "I don't recall this being part of the package - I'm outta here!" Holy Spirit lives in  us and He's in it for the long haul.

Ephesians 3:16 says that we are strengthened with might through His spirit in the inner man. We gain strength from His residence in us. He won't jump ship when the going gets tough - He'll never leave us stranded. We can gain strength today knowing that Holy Spirit and the Word are both working inside of us no matter what we face; no matter what we feel.

Today I will meditate on the truth the HE lives IN me. I'll turn my thoughts to the fact that no matter what type of struggle or trial is staring me in the face today - He will walk through it with me and He is working in me in the midst of the storm. Will you join me?

Fighting the Downward Spiral

For caregivers, emotions can run on edge. Oh, eventually we adjust to the hectic life and can hold it together through all the basic stuff. We really don't have much of a choice so we get used to aides not showing up, not getting enough supplies, and advocating for our loved one on a daily basis. The daily chores become routine as do all the things we have to get done to care for another person. For some of us that basically means you do everything twice because they need total care. We adjust, figure out we are still alive, and we even learn to laugh again. And then something happens.

We get used to the craziness and then a vehicle breaks down, the hot water heater malfunctions or we get sick. It really doesn't take too much because we run on overload. For me personally it can mean the emotions go toward that downward spiral. Even though there are some strategies that I've learned to use to help prevent me from bottoming out - it is a difficult fight and each step "back up" takes every bit of energy that can be mustered.

In times like these I think of David and of one scripture in particular: David encouraged himself in the Lord. (1 Samuel 30:6) And like the caregiver, he had to -- no one else was around! David had been anointed king but had instead faced a multitude of troubles. He had a lot on his plate at this time since his own had rejected him, he was running from Saul, had joined in with "the enemy" (Philistines), and they didn't trust him to fight with them. THEN the Amalekites came in and tore up Ziklag and took all the women and children. David was just a little bit upset. Like the overloaded caregiver, he already had enough on his plate. But he stopped the downward spiral and encouraged himself in the Lord. 

If my sources are correct, David wrote Psalm 16 while facing the struggle at Ziklag. He starts out with a prayer for God to preserve him  and then declares that he will trust the Lord. I'd say that's a great place to start each day. He says things like:

You are my portion

I will bless the Lord

I have set the Lord always before me

I will not be moved (because He is at my right hand)

It sounds to me like David knew how to reach down, up or around and find his source and supply in God. I think two things that stick out to me today as I fight the strong pull of the downward spiral are in verses 9 and 10. In verse 9 David says My flesh will rest in hope.  I really like that! And in the next verse he says You will not leave my soul in Sheol. I'm going to take that to mean for me that God will not leave my soul in turmoil and anguish. To encourage himself, David looked toward God first and then reminded himself of the role God played in his life. Verses 7-8 line that out pretty well. Here David says:

I will bless the Lord

I will set Him before me

I will not be moved

Then in verse 9 he says therefore my heart is glad and my  glory rejoices - and  I will rest in hope.

Today I will meditate on who God is to me and I will rest in hope. I will set my mind on the truth that He is with me and He has not and will not abandon my soul (mind, will, emotions). I will try to see myself in His hand; in His heart today. I will also be reading this psalm over and over today. Will you join me?

After all That?

We are finally at the end of Psalm 119! I've said before that I really enjoy this psalm I'd encourage you to take the time to read it again and again. David's heart is revealed in this psalm. We see him on the mountain rejoicing to broken and deep sorrow. But overall it reveals  a heart that is seeking the ways of God.

I find the final verse of this chapter very interesting. After all the seeking and longing after God the last verse says: I have gone astray like a lost sheep. What is that? All of this talk of praising God, longing after His ways and His word and you go astray? It was just a few verses ago in v. 165 that he said Great peace have those who love Your law and nothing shall offend them. How can I love the word, be offence-less and then go astray? It happens.

Thankfully, David didn't leave it hanging like that - his next phrase (or perhaps prayer) is Seek Your Servant. After penning 176 verses about how he is seeking God, he is asking God to seek him. I like that! When we are seeking God with all of our hearts - looking into His word for guidance and direction; and we accept His strength for the journey - all we need is a glance from Him. What peace it brings just to know he is looking our way. We are not politely ignored!

It's so easy to get lost in the shuffle even when we are seeking Him. Sometimes I need Him  to find me!

Today I will meditate on the truth that He is seeking me with more intensity than I am seeking Him! I'll consider how much He values me that He would come looking for me on those days I just don't have the strength to try. I'll enjoy His embrace today...will you join me?

Breath of Life

You can probably tell by now (assuming you're still reading) that I like Psalm 119. It's the longest chapter in the Bible but it is so rich. Today we'll look at verses 153 to 160. David starts out with a plea for the Lord to consider his affliction. Ever felt that way? There are times we can feel very loved and watched over and the next thing you know we feel like He's packed up, moved away and left us to ourselves. (or maybe that's just me!) David must have felt some of those emotions to ask God to consider him once again.

Something that seems to stand out in these few verses is David's request to be revived once again. It's noticeable throughout the entire chapter but three times in this passage he asked for the lord to revive him.

revive me according to Your Word (v. 154)

revive me according to Your judgments (v. 156)

revive me according to Your mercy (v. 159)

It makes me think that David didn't care what means God used to do it -- he just needed to be revived! Boy, can the caregiver relate to that on some days.Our cry can easily become "give me life!". There are days when the Word seems to be beamed down from heaven straight into our hearts; and days it feels like we couldn't hear God speak if He used an audible voice. But no matter what it feels like on any given day, the word is life. (John 6:63) When we give our attention to seeking Him and His word, it brings life to our soul whether we see it, feel it or not. It goes directly into our hearts and feeds our faith - even when our flesh feels like we are in a major disconnect. 

Caregivers tend to be survivors - we can't help it, really. It becomes our very nature over time if it wasn't before we began the caregiving journey. But sometimes we have to admit we cannot do it ourselves. One thing I've heard myself say is that caregiving has shown me how strong I am; but it has equally revealed my weaknesses. We must learn to trust in Him - more than we trust ourselves.We have to become more dependent on Him and trust Him to breathe His life into us through His word.

Today I will meditate on His word and think about how it breathes life into my spirit. I'll pray for His strength to make the next part of the journey no matter what it brings; and I will rely on His strength instead of my own. Will you join me?

Mercy's Filter

I don't know many caregivers who wouldn't pay for a good night's sleep. Personally, it's not too bad for me overall but for short periods of time I may have to get up during the night. Early on I secured a mattress that helps prevent bed sores which means I don't have to turn my son every 2 hours. It really helps when we can get chunks of sleep like 4-6 hours at least. But then there are still those nights usually several in a row when I am disrupted throughout the night. Usually on top of just having to get up during the night there are other issues occurring like illness or discomfort to address.

David says in Psalm 119:148-149:  My eyes are awake through the night watches, that I may meditate on Your word. Hear my voice according to Your lovingkindness... I must say that when I am up during the "night watches" it's not always so I can meditate on the Word. In fact, it's never so I can meditate on His Word. You really don't want to know the kinds of things I think or say when my sleep is disrupted. But I can promise that my prayers are not always pure at 3 in the morning. I'm usually concerned for my son and so my prayers may sound more like yelling at God things like, "Where are You now?" or "Can You even hear me?" I have crazy thoughts like  can you see me? Have You even noticed my situation? Do You have any answers? Is there any hope?

...just bein' honest.

But the psalmist also prayed for the Lord to hear me according to Your lovingkindness or mercy. I pray that God hears my cries for help through His mercy and not from my desperation. Perhaps He filters my earnest anguished thoughts through mercy's filter. I really believe He does. When we are at our most desperate point - He looks at us through mercy not disdain. He sees we are desperate - He knows we need Him. And He extends His mercy every time.

The last portion of verse 149 reads this way: revive me according to Your justice. David is asking God to hear me and revive me. This is my prayer today.

Today I will meditate on how He extends His mercy even to me! I'll think about how He filters my cries through His mercy and revives me by breathing His life into my being. Will you join me?

You're an Original!

No two people are exactly alike. Even identical twins who look alike can be very different in their thought processes and ways they deal with life. No two caregivers are alike and no two situations are alike. We are all originals - worth saving.

In Psalm 119:94 the psalmist states: I am Yours, save me! Our flesh is just dirt and it's not what God is interested in saving. We are a spirit being and God saves the real us - that part of us that is not going to die. There is only one  of us - only one spirit being that makes us - us. We are an original through and through and God sees us as worth saving. He went to extremes to make sure we had a way to get back to Him.

I think there is a lot in this desperate plea for salvation. The two verses prior state this: Unless Your law had been my delight, I would then have perished in my affliction. I will never forget Your precepts for by them You have given me life. It would be very easy for caregiving to consume us and for many it does mean losing our own lives to care for another. But even in our affliction - His law, His word can be our delight. We must admit that sometimes we hold on to it with just a little thread of strength! But it sustains us even in our affliction. His word gives us life and light to make it through each day.

As life continues to shape us into the individuals we are, we must continue to hold on to His word. It's too easy to give up and become bitter and hard. But when life gets hard we must cling to His word with even more diligence and allow it to shape us until we look like Him. This is our comfort in our affliction that we can still look like Him - His word still works in us and for us. We do not have to perish in any affliction - we may have to endure it! But His word is able to sustain us and give us life.

Today my meditation will be on the truth that He gives me life. His word gives me the strength to breathe. I'll turn my heart and mind to accepting His help for the journey instead of trying to make it on my own. Will you join me?

Walking it Out

It can be the day-to-day grind that is so difficult for the caregiver. Even though each day can bring it's own set of "surprises" and circumstances, the caregiver's life just goes on. There is often no relief or end in sight. If we are honest, no matter how positive we choose to be and how hard we remain focused, there are times when it seems overwhelming. Our situation can be constant and unchanging. Some have hope of a "better" day while others quite frankly, do not. Joni Eareckson Tada says that disability is just so daily. It's the same for the caregiver - there isn't always a break. It's not as much about learning how to "take a break" in the middle of the journey - as it is learning how to walk it out.

What I mean by walking it out is how we handle the day-to-day grind. How do we respond when pressure rises in an already pressure-filled situation? (I won't tell how horrible my responses are if you won't! - or maybe I'm the only one who explodes now and then!) Sometimes it can seem like we are dealing with thousands of issues on a daily basis - and others forget that there is actually so much more to our lives than just caregiving - even though it consumes our lives.

We have children, grandchildren, aging parents, our own health issues, financial decisions, friends, and perhaps tons of other responsibilities too. How we walk it out says a lot about us and our character.

In Psalm 119:74 says this: Those who fear You will be glad when they see me because I have hoped in Your word. This is how I want caregiving to appear in my life - when others see my walk - they find joy and hope because they see that I have hoped in His word. I don't want them to see the frustration, agitation or craziness I can portray. I hope they can look past all that and see that in the middle of the storm I am clinging to Him, that I find hope in Him.

It seems life is really about learning to trust Him no matter what comes. One hymn said it this way: He is all my hope and peace. I must agree. And even on the crazy days - He is a constant source of peace and hope.

Today I will meditate on the truth that He is my peace - He is my hope. I will turn my thoughts to His peace and put my hope in  Him. "Put" is a verb - an action word. I will focus on actively placing my hope in Him - for He is my hope and peace.

On Our Own?

Life can bring with it many afflictions - sometimes life just hurts. And it doesn't need any help from unexpected tragedies or sickness - it's just painful. It is really up to us how we choose to respond to pain life deals out. And don't you hate it when someone tells you it's a character building  experience? What experience is not a character builder? In each circumstance we face we are staring down a choice - how are we going to handle this?

Are we going to fall apart? Run crying to a friend? Give up and quit? Shut down our emotions? You may list anything else here that is your MO (Mode of Operation)! I'm not saying that these are right - or wrong - just typical responses when we don't know how to deal with situations. But no matter what - eventually we have to work through it and live. Caregivers are no different. We don't get a separate instruction manual than the rest of the world! Our choices are the same as everyone else's and our decisions just as individual as the next guy.

In Psalm 119:50 the psalmist states: This is my comfort in my affliction: for Your word has given me life.  I clung to this scripture years back as the very fact that His word still "quickens" me, still speaks to me, still brings healing, hope and peace even in my affliction - is a very comforting thing. Wouldn't it be awful if when we faced trials His word shut down and waited for us to come around? Thankfully it's not that way! His word is alive, the writer of Hebrews said.

Verse 52 says basically that the psalmist comforted himself by remembering God's word. Ever been there before? Caregiving can be a lonely place and we can live in social isolation. There may not be anyone nearby to help lift your hands and your heart during those dark nights of the soul that are unavoidable. But when we are on our own - we still have His word and we can comfort ourselves.

As a matter of fact, verse 55 gives us another clue to how rough it was for the psalmist. He states I remember Your name in the night. It's those dark, lonely times that can get us isn't it? That's when we feel  the most alone - but when we are "on our own" is when we have to dig down and let His word comfort us. That's right - we actually have to be willing and yielded to His word to receive His comfort.

Today I will meditate on being yielded to His word. I will turn my thoughts to Him and put my heart in His hands. I will let His word bring me comfort, peace direction and correction today. (Correction? who said anything about that?!)  Will you join me?

No Disclaimers for Caregivers in the Bible!

Did you ever read a scripture and wonder if it could really apply to caregivers? When I first started the caregiving journey I thought for certain that there were some scriptures that would no longer be applicable to life. But as my emotions settled down and I adjusted to my new "normal" I found that there is not one disclaimer for us in the Bible.

This weekend I was reading Psalm 119 - one of my all time favorites. I was surprised at how many times David speaks of the word reviving his soul. In verse 25, he says:  my soul clings to the dust, revive me according to Your word. Who knows what the psalmist was going through to feel like his soul (mind, will and emotions) were having to be scraped up from the earth just to go on! I've had a few days like that - just like every other caregiver. I guess where I found comfort in this scripture was realizing that the word is not void because I'm in a caregiving situation. There's no disclaimer that says His word can revive my soul unless I'm a caregiver - or unless anything.

His word still gives power; it still gives life. And we still have the responsibility of hiding it in our heart - where the word can do it's best work. I like the preceding scripture too - v. 24 states: Your testimonies also are my delight and my counselors. Oh how I need His word to bring life and delight back to my weary soul! I also find comfort in knowing that His word can offer wisdom for dealing with different situations. But once I again, I have to tune my ear to hear Him and my heart to truly listen.

He did not offer a disclaimer which nullifies the power of His word in the life of a caregiver; and we are not exempt from following Him, listening to Him, hiding His word in our heart, etc.

Today I will meditate on the power of His word in my "messed up" life. I'll set my mind and heart on pursuing Him and listening to His heart in mine. I won't "check out" today - will you join me?

There was a Crooked Man

Do you ever wonder why life can't be easier? Why can't things go smoother? Life can get so hectic - and do so suddenly with no warning at all. I'm sure you've had those days. You know - things are rocking along pretty good and Bam! Out of nowhere it's helter-skelter. Now it's anything but smooth sailing. And since the caregiver lives on the edge - it really doesn't take much, does it?

What do you do when life makes a sudden change? How do you handle it when the day is going along smoothly and the aide doesn't show, you realize you're out of wipes (that's serious y'all!) or you didn't get the right formula? Usually, the aide shows up fine as long as you don't plan anything, right? But decide you're going to run to the store for some necessities like coffee or toilet paper and she won't show up - guaranteed. We really do have to just laugh about it (later though because when it happens it's usually traumatic!).

Usually, things do have a way of working themselves out. It may take some crazy, frantic phone calls, or some huge schedule juggling to get through some days; but we do live. And we do get toilet paper again! lol Even though it may seem to the caregiver that there are more hectic days than gentle ones - it does even out.

These were some of my thoughts earlier this morning as I was preparing for the day. This can be a difficult task as things can change on a dime. Presently, the aide comes whenever she feels like it and leaves when she thinks she's done. Oh, and she brings her lunch from Church's Chicken and sits at my table to enjoy it! Sounds silly, doesn't it? It happened yesterday for real. I just shake my head in disbelief - We really can't make some of these things up!

So what's a caregiver to do with all the craziness a day may bring? Scriptures promise us that there is a "place of rest" for God's people (Hebrews 4:9). For the caregiver, it can seem far away. But it's there. In my meditations this morning I thought of Isaiah 40:4 -He makes the crooked places straight and the rough places smooth. You know, Isaiah was right (of course). It all evens out in the end.

At the end of a hectic, crazy, long day - we will still be able to rest in Him. He is still there for us, He is still carrying us and it all smooths out eventually.

Today I will meditate on the peace of God. I'll set my mind and heart on letting His peace guard and keep my heart and mind. I will purposefully shift my focus to the peace and rest He offers and I'll accept a full serving today. Will you join me?

Not What it Looks Like

Sometimes the life of a caregiver can seem very barren. We can suffer from loneliness and social isolation even in this technologically "connected" world. Personally, I can go an entire day without holding a conversation with a real person even though I have plenty of interactions online. Online is certainly better than nothing but it does not replace actually hearing someone's voice, seeing their facial expressions or sharing laughter. It can seem very barren sometimes like we don't exist even in the world in which we live.

Isaiah 54 says Sing O barren, you who have not borne! Break froth into singing and cry aloud, you who have not labored with child! For more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married woman, says the Lord. God is able to take what looks and feels empty and make it full. He has sort of specialized in the field.

Think about two women: Sarah and Mary. Sarah was considered too old to be fruitful and Mary was in a way too young to be fruitful. God took these two extreme "barren" situations and made them fruitful. And He did it way beyond both of their imaginations. What looked fruitless to man God touched and made fruitful.

Even though our lives may look unfruitful and we can feel barren, God is behind the scenes doing something. We may not know what He is up to - but He's always doing something. Paul reminds us in 2 Corinthians 4 to keep our eyes on the things we cannot see - instead of the "lack" we can see.  Paul also reminds us in Ephesians 3:20 that God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all we can imagine. (I have a pretty good imagination too!)

Today instead of concentrating on the lack, or the barrenness that can accompany a caregiver, I will meditate on what I can't see.  I will look harder and find what God is doing behind the scenes. I will think about what He is doing in me instead of around me. Are you up for the challenge?

Shielded from What?

In Genesis 15, God told Abraham, "I am your shield." Why would Abraham need a shield  and why would God need to announce it? It was a little rough going for Abraham at the time, so you have to wonder what he thought about this Divine declaration. It certainly didn't mean that the father of our faith was going to be exempt from adversity. The preceding chapters indicate that Abraham had been going through a tough time.

In chapter 12 he faced a severe famine and had to relocate. After he relocated, he must have experienced fear thinking that the king was going to kill him off to take his wife. Moving (chapter 13) always brings change and that's never comfortable. Then also in chapter 13 his men fought with Lot's men so intensely that they had to part ways. Lot, his nephew was then kidnapped in chapter 14 and Abraham led a small scale war to go get him back! Times were not easy when God said, I am your shield.

Actually, the fact that he even needed to be shielded at all lets us know that life was turbulent. It certainly didn't exempt him from adversity. In the next couple of chapters Sarah and Hagar are going to have a huge fight and Abraham is going to witness the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah.

Once again scriptures demonstrate that faith does not indicate the absence of adversity or in this case, adversities. But it does show us that even in the midst of trials and tribulations God protects us. While He doesn't protect us from the trouble itself - He does protect our souls. He shields the part of us that matters most - the living part. He keeps our souls from damage during life's deepest, darkest moments. And although we are not spared from the trials themselves, we can rest in  those times knowing that He has us in His hands no matter what life throws at us.

Our soul's salvation - our spiritual well being cannot be damaged by the things life hurls at us. In Ephesians 6, Paul tells us above all - take up the shield of faith.  Faith is trusting that God has our back even in the worst of times.

Today I will meditate on the truth that He has me in the palm of His hand and I'll choose to see myself in His heart where my soul is safe from harm. Will  you join me?