Thankfulness in the Furnace

Colossians 4:2 says to devote yourself to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart. (NLT) It can be far too easy to allow the responsibilities and daily grind of caregiving to lull us into a spiritual sleep. Taking care of another person takes a lot out of us emotionally, physically and even spiritually. Over time we can tend to relax spiritually if we do not guard our hearts.

Personally, I am a very structured person. I set my schedule and just keep it. Well, that's how it was BC (before caregiving) anyway. I got up early enough when I was teaching school to have my coffee, Bible study and prayer time long before the day got out of hand. When I first brought my son home, I tried to do that again. Honestly, I was worn out all the time and soon it went out the window. Recently, I've been able to come back to some type of schedule but of course remain flexible for caregiving's sake.

It's so important to keep our spiritual guard up. We have to maintain our spiritual tenacity. This can be such a difficult thing and if we are not careful we  can fall into the trap of self-condemnation when we don't. First of all, remember (like it's easy to forget) that we are operating under huge amounts of stress and there are some days it takes all of our effort to simply breathe. It took me a long time to be "okay" with that and to give myself a break. When we don't have time - we just don't have time. And we certainly don't have time to condemn ourselves for not having time!  Secondly, remember that He alone is our source - and He understands us. God is walking through the furnace with us. He is the good Shepherd, we just have to follow Him and allow Him to feed us.

We can still devote ourselves to prayer, and we can do it with a mind that is alert as well as a heart that is thankful. It took me a long time to recover a thankful attitude. I was just too mad at God for letting this happen to my son. But as time went on I found I could not live my life without Him (God). Soon I found that thankfulness once again. We cannot base our thankfulness on our lives - but on His goodness and His character. I'll be the first one to tell you I am not thankful this happened. But I'm also quick to tell you that even in the situation and as it continues to unfold, I can find things to be thankful for.

I'm thankful for many of the life lessons I've learned on this CG journey. I'm thankful for the closeness I've found with God. I can be thankful that I've learned the true value of friendship - and learned who were my real friends. Thankfulness abounds as I've learned to trust Him even more. There is always something to be thankful for; we just have to search harder to find it when the going gets tough!

Today I will purposefully look for things to be thankful for; and I will remember to tell God thank you. I will consciously keep my mind on Him today and focus on staying alert spiritually. I will not allow caregiving to lull me to sleep spiritually. Are you with me?

Process Process Process!

Do you ever feel cheated out of life? For me caregiving interrupted some really good plans that I had laid out. I was heading to Africa as fast as I could get there- one of my life-long dreams. But when my son had his wreck that and my future were jerked right out from under me. I have to admit that I've dealt with some anger over that. Caregiving makes it hard to dream.

I'm aging along with the rest of you, and these are supposed to be the years I've looked forward to. It's time for me to start planning retirement. Of course, I wanted to relax, travel, spend the golden years fulfilling all the dreams I still had. Instead I'm trying to figure out how to put back and prepare for taking care of my son once I am gone. No retirement in sight - ever.

Anger is just one of the things Paul instructed Christians to put off in Colossians 3. Actually, he gave a whole list of things to put away from us.In verse 8 he lists things like anger,rage, malicious behavior, slander and unholy language. These are all to be gotten rid of - and this takes action on our part. They are not evidently just going to fall off as we travel along the roads of life. Actually, it can be a constant struggle to beat their influence in our lives. Caregiving can be frustrating. Not really so much the taking care of our loved one - but dealing with all the other particulars and organizations that are supposed to be in place to provide help for us.

While we are taking off all these ungodly actions we are supposed to be putting on other things. In verse 12 Paul tells us to put on or to clothe ourselves (once again an action on our part) with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Evidently Paul never had to deal with DHS or a home health agency. lol

In reality, it can be difficult to get rid of anger and embrace humility and grace. Actually, because of our lives this can be a constant struggle for us. And it simply doesn't happen over night. It takes effort and time to develop. Actually in verse 10, Paul says that our new self is being renewed as we learn about Him and become like Him. This verb is not past tense as if it's all a done deal. Instead it is present continuous. This means it is not only happening right now - it is continuing to happen in the future. It's not a one time deal. There's no "easy button" to push either. We'll have to walk it out right in the face of adversity.

We choose to allow His work in our hearts. We allow His peace to displace the anger or turmoil. (or whatever it is you deal with specifically.) It's certainly not going to go away on its own. It's a process - and we have to yield to that process.

Today I will consciously yield to the process He is doing in my heart. I will make every effort to put off anger instead of embracing it. My meditation will be on His peace and I will choose to embrace His work in my heart. I'll purposefully choose to lay aside anger and choose to follow peace. Will you join me?

Things Eternal

Following Paul's advice in Colossians 3:2 can be difficult for the caregiver; beneficial, but difficult. He told us to set your mind on things above - Our days are filled with tons of caregiving tasks to do and when life itself is blaring in your face it can be difficult to set our minds on things above.

Any given day our minds can be full and busy getting tasks associated with caregiving lined up and done. Take my week for example. It's the last week of the month and it seems like all the health professionals wait until the very last second to do their visits. Then they expect m to jump through hoops rearranging things to make room for them in an already tight schedule. Fortunately and unfortunately they are all doing them today. A new aide, the doctor and the case manager are all coming today. I don't see getting anything done today.

These kinds of busy days it can be difficult to get your mind on anything other than just surviving. How am I supposed to be able to set my mind on things above or keep my mind focused on eternity? Can we stay focused on Him and His kingdom when time seems like it's just being sucked away?

When the days get hectic beyond control it's important to remember that we remain hidden in Him. When our front door seems to be a swinging door at Grand Central Station, I have to remember that He is my peace. What we see doesn't really matter. I have to train my mind to stay on the things that last - the things that affect eternity.

Today I will try to stay focused on the state of my heart. I will turn my thoughts and heart to being hidden in Him even in the hectic times of life. My meditations will be on keeping Him as the focus of my life - and I will keep my heart always pointed in His direction. Will you join me?

Everything Changes - Nothing Changes

As a caregiver, we can play many roles and wear lots of hats all at the same time. People looking in often don't realize that there is a lot more to us than just caregiving - even though it consumes a lot of our lives. Sometimes I feel totally scattered; my thoughts and life feel like they are going in many different directions all at once. The caregiver can be caught in a very fractured life.

Colossians 2:10 says that we are complete in Him. Even though our lives can feel shattered or scattered, and we don't enjoy some of the "freedoms" others seem to have, we are not fractured. We are whole.

In many instances caregiving brought hurt and confusion into our lives and quite honestly, in many cases it never goes away we just learn to deal. I'm still trying to come to grips with the fact that this is what my life looks like from here on out. And one of my biggest challenges is trying to prepare for when I'm gone. It's not a fun thought - but it has to be considered. But even though a caregiver's life may feel broken, scattered or fractured, our spirit/soul remains complete, full and whole in Him.

Becoming a caregiver doesn't change our status as a believer. His words (every single one of them) are still true. We still bear fruit, we are still hidden in Him - and we may have moved in just a little closer - He is still our rock, our source, our comfort, our strength and our song!

Our "completeness" or "wholeness" does not rely on any life status - it rests solely on Him. And He didn't change a bit when I became a caregiver. Colossians 2:1-15 is still true for caregivers or it's not true at all!

Today I will meditate on the truth that I am whole in Him - He completes me. I will turn my thoughts to the fact that He has still removed my sin- I have been baptized with Christ and raised with Him to live triumphantly. Today I will rejoice that I am whole and there is nothing that can make me un-whole. Nothing can take me out of Him - or Him out of me. Will you join me?

I Can Work with That

In many instances, caregivers can feel out of touch or out of sync with the "real" world simply because most of our lives are lived in a cave. We can tend to be on either side of the spectrum. One, we are trapped there; or two, we feel safer in our caregiver's cave even though we are alone. Personally, there have been periods of time when I didn't have the capability to get out and there have been times I've preferred being tucked away in mu cave. But God's word does not know any boundaries whether they exist only in our mind, or if they are an invisible barrier we put up ourselves.

God can reach all the way into the depths of despair. He can see past the walls we build to keep ourselves in, and others out. His love can reach all the way into our life-mangled hearts.

In Colossians 1:5-6, Paul is speaking to the Christian believers when he says that the Word of God bears fruit from the time we first hear it. And guess what! His word does not stop bearing fruit in us when we become a caregiver. It is constantly bearing fruit and is displayed in our lives as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, ,goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (Galations 5:22-23)

Once we allow His word to gain entrance into our hearts, it is always at work in us no matter what our circumstances are. He never says, "This is too much for me to handle" or "I can't work with that." Instead He draws near to those with a broken heart and says, "I can work with that." It's simply up to us to yield to the Word's work in our lives.

Today I will yield my heart to the work of the Word in me. I will embrace the changes His ever abiding presence brings to my heart and life. My meditations will be on allowing God in my space so that He can continue to work to bring forth fruit in my heart and life. Will you join me?

Our Most Basic Need

Philippians 4:19 is going to finish out our little journey through Philippians. My God will supply all your need according to His riches in glory. Those of us who grew up in church know we learned this one early on. It was also used by our parents when we didn't get or couldn't have something we wanted. As we learn to be content in Him and with Him as we talked about in yesterday's devotion, our list of needs begin to shrink. I think some of that comes with age too as we learn to distinguish the things that have true value. We all have the same basic needs like food, shelter and love; but beyond that our needs can vary greatly. 1 Timothy 6:6 reminds us that godliness with contentment is great gain.

I have to admit that during this caregiving journey I've had some very tight almost suffocating financial situations. Anxious thoughts try to take over my mind and infiltrate my life. But in those moments I stop and talk myself through it by saying things like I have food, shelter, electricity, and my cable is still on so I can work today. Once I realize I am not missing anything today I can function. It doesn't make any money drop out of the heavens but it allows me to get a grip on my emotions.

Since this caregiving journey started I have to say God has certainly provided all along the way. But I could say that about my whole life including BC (before caregiving). If any of us were asked today what our most pressing need was, what would we answer? We could have a lot of different responses based on our level of perceived needs. Our collaborative list might look something like this:

• money
• love
• food
• electric bill
• cell phone bill
• a friend
• healing
• newer vehicle
• gas for our vehicle

We might present a list a mile long. Do you remember the scripture where God asked Solomon what he wanted and Solomon said wisdom? It was the most encapsulating answer anyone could give. It was like saying everything since wisdom is the key that unlocks all the doors! Well I think our answer to What do you need?  is just as encapsulating and all-inclusive. We simply need Him.

Solomon said in Proverbs 3:32b - He is intimate with the upright. I was reading that this morning and it had a reference to Job 29:4 where Job said the friendship of God was over my tent. These are two very different views of needing Him. Here Solomon is sitting in the king's palace with the world at his fingertips; and Job is sitting in a pile of ashes having literally lost everything. Yet they both speak of intimacy with God. I must conclude that this is our most basic need.

As angry as I've been with God about allowing all this journey to happen; and as upsetting as the caregiving journey has been at times  - I always come back to my knees. I have to admit my desperate need for Him. He is my every need. The rest is irrelevant. Paul said that he counted all things as loss  in comparison to knowing Christ.

Today I will meditate on the truth that God is my most basic need. I will turn my thoughts toward Him and seek His intimacy. I will purposefully be aware that He is on this caregiving journey with me. I will be content with that. Will you join me? 

I Can do "All" Things?

Caregiving is one of the hardest things I've ever done; and I've done a lot of "above average" things. I have started and ran my own freelance business, taught junior high math, hiked 10 mile wilderness trails and run a marathon. I also got rid of all my stuff at one point and picked up and moved half way across the country all by myself to stay with people I had never met. But as I read this familiar scripture one more time, it didn't seem to fit exactly like it did before.
In Philippians 4:13 Paul says I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Paul wrote it while sitting in jail. He wrote it to encourage the Philippians. What did he really mean?

If we look at it contextually, it might not mean what we thought. We've used it for every tight spot in life and for an encouragement to get things done that we thought we couldn't do. While that might not be a bad thing, it doesn't seem to be the context of the verse.

Looking at the entire passage we will see that Paul is talking about being content. He's not really talking about doing.  In the preceding verse the apostle is speaking of having plenty and doing without. He was discussing learning a great lesson - that God is the same no matter what our situation is; and we can make it through any circumstances because Christ is in us strengthening us for the journey.

For the caregiver this means we can make it whether our friends walk it with us or not, whether we are in or out of a local church, and whether or not we have sleep. That's important to the caregiver - and many times it is a basic need we lack. No matter what a day or night throws our way - we have to learn to be content with it. It will make things go much smoother.

When my son was injured and I was catching a flight from Chicago back to Shreveport to be with him, I was stopped by security. I was targeted because I had one carry on bag, bought a one way ticket and purchased it just a couple hours prior to the flight.Not only did they thoroughly search me, they took everything out of my bag and spread it all out to ensure I didn't have any explosives. I was really in a state of shock or I might not have been so patient. They actually thanked me for my patience. Without even thinking I looked up and said, "Would it have made it go any faster had I been impatient?" They laughed and said, "not really." I told them with tears in my eyes that I was just trying to get to my son. They understood.

We can be as content or un-content as we want and it will not make the caregiving journey any easier. It's important to learn to deal with it the best we can, and be content in Him. Then we will find that we have the strength to endure. We will find that we can do all things through Christ as He gives us His strength for the journey.

Today I will meditate on His strength in me. I will think about being content with the journey; and being content with Him no matter where I am on the journey. My thoughts will be on the truth that in an ever changing situation, He remains constant. No matter what life throws at me today - He is still faithful. I'm content with that. Will you join me?