Posts

But First I'll Have Coffee

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For quite some time now I've said I have attention deficit problems. I'm a very high strung, energetic, gotta-keep-going type of person. So much so that more than one doctor wants to medicate me to help me "settle down." I kindly refuse as I don't think I need to be like everyone else. There's nothing wrong with having loads of energy in my opinion. However, it does come with some areas that have to be dealt with or they get out of hand. One of these is dealing with distractions, partly because everything  can be a distraction. A friend and I were talking about distractions over the weekend and so my thoughts have been on this topic this week. As an individual, everything is distracting. I can go in the kitchen for something specific but make coffee because that sounds good and then totally forget why I went in there to begin with. On my way to the bathroom I can stop to fold laundry, check the mail or do any number of other things that grab my attention a...

All I Have

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This morning as I picked up my Bible, I noticed my notepad and pen were holding a place in Exodus 34. That's where I'd left off last time I used this particular Bible. One of my favorite verses (I have lots of them) is in this chapter. Verse 14 in the New Living Translation says You must worship no other gods, but only the Lord, for He is a God who is passionate about His relationship to you.  I remember when I first discovered this scripture, I meditated on it for weeks and then held it close to my heart. It was so refreshing to see God in that light - as someone who is passionately chasing after us and longing for a close relationship. He still is that God, no matter what life may have thrown our way. I continued reading and got stuck in verse 20. The last part says No one is allowed to appear before Me without a gift.  I kind of stumbled on that scripture as I feel like I don't really have a gift  to offer Him. I mean seriously, what could I possibly have to pres...

Still Seeking

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Over the weekend, I heard a phrase in a song, "You are perfect in all of Your ways." I knew it was a scripture but couldn't remember where it was located.  This morning I looked it up and it is in Deuteronomy 32 at the beginning of the Song of Moses. I read the whole chapter a time or two and went back to meditate on the phrase for a bit. I closed my eyes and thought about how perfect God is and how right and just every decision He makes is. When I opened my eyes, they fell on a scripture on the opposite page - I had marked it sometime ago. It is in chapter 30, verse 4. Though you are at the ends of the earth, the Lord your God will go and find you and bring you back again.   I thought about that for awhile and read it in context. Moses is encouraging the Children of Israel to return to the Lord. He is calling them to come back to Him with their whole heart and seek Him fully. But this verse to me is God reaching for them. He continues to seek a relationship with ...

Who knew that was there?

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Over the years I've come to enjoy the Psalms and find myself reading there a lot. I'm not sure why they are so intriguing to me, but I seem to enjoy them more and more. This morning I found myself in Psalm 77 which is one of my go-to passages, but this morning I saw something totally new. I'm reading along and stopping at key scriptures I've learned to rely on, and I hit verse 16. It's like I've never read it before. Maybe I stop too many times at verse 11 which I run to frequently, but verses 16-20 just stood out to me this morning. In verse 16, the Psalmist, who happens to be Asaph, describes how the Red Sea felt as Moses and the Children of Israel approached on their exodus from Egypt. The scripture says the Red Sea trembled and quaked to its very depths.  I love nature and its response to God, and I know in Psalm 19 it speaks of how nature's voice is constantly declaring God's glory. But I never thought about how the Red Sea trembled once it wa...

Nothing Changes - And That's a Good Thing!

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There have been several major changes in my life over the last week or so. Some were small changes while others were large; some I've chosen and others have been forced on me. It's been everything from taking Chris to races with me instead of hiring a sitter, to more responsibilities at work to my biological father passing away. At the same time, I've been making some personal changes as well. I've been de-cluttering my house, started actually working on a couple of my projects (and making progress!!), and changing up my schedule a bit so I can give myself a break - sort of. That's a lot for a Type A! :-) This morning, I was sipping my coffee and thinking about how the landscape of my life has been changing and how I'm trying to be more comfortable with it. But then I started thinking about the things that don't  change. The second I became a caregiver, my whole life changed drastically. But some things literally can't change - and those are the im...

No Day Off

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Today is a holiday, and for the US it's a wonderful day of celebration. Most of the real world  has the day off. There won't be any financial transactions, no mail delivered and most places are closed for the day. But there are no days off  for the caregiver. If you are fortunate enough to have an aide, they will probably have the day off too. And they should have the opportunity to relax and spend time with family and friends. But our day doesn't change much - there are no days off. When we get up and around this morning, it's highly likely it will look pretty much like any other day. That's not a complaint - it's a statement of fact. As I was thinking about the holiday this morning and trying to decide if I wanted to attempt anything outside our box , I thought of one particular scripture. Isaiah 40:28 says this: Have you never heard or understood? Don't you know that the Lord is the Everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth? He never grows faint...

So Far So Good

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Yesterday I lost a family member and somehow I think grieving losses like that are maybe not "more difficult" as a caregiver, but more complicated. If that makes sense. Many caregivers, myself included, live with what is called a living grief.  That basically means we grieve the loss of our loved one - but they didn't die. They are here - but they are not here. It's a grief that doesn't allow for any closure and it's ongoing. Then when you add any more grief on top of that - it's a very heavy load to carry. Fortunately, I know the Lord and I can take all  my cares to Him and drop them off! (I know, that's not KJV!) This morning I was sitting, drinking coffee and staring at the wall as it was all sinking in. I thought about not doing a devotion - I needed on myself. lol. I opened up an email and saw this scripture which was exactly what I needed to hear today. It's 1 Samuel 7:12. Samuel has just become judge in Israel and the Children of Israe...