Posts

All the Same

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  Does it sometimes feel like our days, lives, and emotions are like a perpetual roller coaster ride? And I'm not talking about the kiddie roller coaster either. I'm comparing it to the biggest, scariest (and a little bit fun) way up and down roller coaster that only the brave will ride! (lol) Maybe (hopefully) it's not that way all the time, but most days sure do have a lot of ups and downs for caregivers. With our emotions staying on the edge most of the time, it doesn't take a whole lot to tip us over. (Maybe it's just me!) Sometimes, we seem to hum along quite nicely figuring days out as we go. Then other times, it feels like one blow after the other with no relief in between. Maybe our loved one becomes ill. That's a game-changer. Supplies don't come, so you order them out of your own pocket. Then the order gets delayed. (LOL - yes it really happens this way, doesn't it?) It can be quite overwhelming, even though there are good days and bad days; sm...

Losing Wait

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 Navigating through caregiving is never easy no matter what the circumstances. I always thought that long-distance caregiving was "easier" than full-time in the home caregiving. But over the last three years, as I cared for my son at home and my aunt in a facility until she passed, I found out it's just a hard job no matter what. There is always   nothing simple about taking care of another person and making decisions on their behalf.  As we work through the process, we learn that there is a lot of waiting. Waiting on doctor's orders to get supplies. Waiting on authorizations for medical procedures. Waiting on paperwork to get aids in to help. And that is just the beginning of a long, long, list. It can feel like we are always  waiting on someone to do their job or to work on our behalf. Waiting can be perplexing and it can feel like we can't do anything to help. In some instances, we can call or email the right person to help things move along faster. Other times...

A Little Help

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  Have you ever felt like you could use a little help? Who am I talking to, right? As caregivers a little help is great. One of the things we deal with is such a long laundry list of things that need to get done in a day. I'm sure our lists are all long, but they can vary based on the health and needs of our loved ones. My son is total care. That means I have to feed, change, dress, bathe, and transfer him over the course of the day. Although he is awake, he is not yet capable of doing much of anything. He can stand! That makes transfers easier, for sure. Sometimes, an aid is provided. What they don't understand is that everything they do helps. Even the smallest things like sweeping the floors, dusting, or taking out the trash. Those are all things that I won't have to do if they do them. Recently, I've looked at pricing for hiring someone to come in and help clean my apartment. Then I thought, I'm hiring someone to do things the aid is PAID to do but doesn't w...

He Came

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 This morning during my devotions I found myself in Romans 8:28. This is a familiar scripture to most. Usually, we quote it when we don't understand what's going on. It's that go-to for every situation that baffles us. But I saw something in it this morning that grabbed me. That's one of the things I LOVE about the Word, it meets me where I am and speaks new things to my heart. Romans 8:28 in the New Living Translation says this: And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to HIs purpose for them. Today, what stood out to me was "His purpose." Here's where my thoughts went. He didn't put Adam and Eve in the garden and walk away. He came  to them and walked with them, talked with them. When they sinned, He still came looking for them, longing for relationship. God created everything else with His breath, with words. A simple command brought forth plants that bear seeds for more plan...

Voice Behind the Tears

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  I consider myself quite the wordsmith. Besides blogs, devotionals , poetry , and journaling, I write for a living as a freelance writer. But sometimes, even I run out of words. There are just those times when my heart hurts and circumstances overwhelm me. Occasionally, those pent-up emotions leak out in the form of tears, but not often. However, there is a calm assurance in knowing that He hears the voice behind the tears. That's one of the things that amazes me about God. He really does understand our emotions. He even understands when we don't have words to express our deepest feelings. David said in Psalm 139:3 You are intimately  acquainted with all my ways. (Amp) There are just those days that seem to swallow me whole. You know? My emotions get away from me. Fears of the future run through my thoughts. Mistakes from the past try to snatch peace. It's easy for us to get down with the mechanics of caregiving.  When I get to that point - my words don't even make sen...

Inside the Fish

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  As caregivers, we have good days and bad days  - just like everyone else! Actually, the number of caregivers is on the rise as Baby Boomers begin to age and need more personal care. A friend of mine just informed me the other day that his wife has early signs of Alzheimer's. Finding a caregiver-friend isn't as hard as it used to be as there are lots more of us.  Yet in the midst of all the caregivers, it can be a lonely walk. Maybe we need to meet via zoom too! The latest technological advancements have made it easier to connect. However, in the day-to-day grind of caregiving, it's still easy to feel alone. As I sit here writing this morning's devotion, sipping my coffee, I feel the aloneness. It can be easy to get my focus on that and get lost in it for the rest of the day.  But before I take that dive, I can help myself avoid it by going back to a scripture I read this morning in my private devotions. I found myself in Psalm 9. Verse 10 in the New Living Translat...

The Failure

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  Do you ever feel overwhelmed? I ask this question partly in jest because as caregivers it's a definite "all the time" answer, right? Many nights, I feel like a failure. Actually, most nights as I am preparing to collapse into the bed, all the things I didn't get done dance through my head. I think of all those things left on today's to-do list that will remain on tomorrow's new list.  As caregivers, there are so many demands made on us every day. Recently, my son has been ill so this increased doctor visits, nurse visits, etc. I know you know the drill. Scheduling these necessary things on already crowded days can totally overwhelm a person who is already overwhelmed, adding to the negative thoughts of being a failure. Recently, I've learned to identify these negative thoughts as soon as they begin. I start telling myself, "I may not have got this and that done today. But I did get this, this, that, and something else done today." I remind myse...