Why do I Wait?

 

This morning I felt things starting to pile up on me. I'm sure you know those types of mornings, right? Or maybe it's evenings, or afternoons, or anything in between. The duties of the day seemed to be coming for me before I ever got started. After not sleeping well, I woke up tired and just didn't feel like taking on another day. But like all my fellow caregivers, I stood up and stared this day in the face without backing down.

Finally, I had an intelligent thought emerging from the emotional wreckage. I began to pray. I told God exactly how I felt, how heavy the load was, and that I wanted to just give up. I must admit that my prayers were birthed from sheer frustration, but nonetheless, in a few minutes, the funniest thing began to happen...

My day started feeling lighter. Worry seemed to disappear and my heart and mind had order again. As I began to feel better, I wondered why I wait until I am at my wit's end to give it all to Him. Why do I wait until I can't handle anymore before I bring it all to Him? He is right here, no matter where "here" is for us. His peace is constant, but I can so easily get swept away in emotional craziness. It's easy to get my focus off and onto the busy-ness.  It's too easy to look at what is staring me in the face and forget that He's got my back!

Today, I will switch off the busy-ness and focus on His presence. I'll set my mind on His faithfulness instead of my feelings of lack. My meditations will be on how He can help me instead of focusing on how far short I feel I am. My heart will be on His heart, on His ways, on His ever-abiding presence that is in my "here" to undergird and strengthen me to make today. Will you join me? 

3-Fold Strand of Grace

 I found myself in Nahum 1:7 this morning during my personal devotions. I talked mostly about the last portion of the verse in my Facebook Live devotions (Peace Out!) and I'll share that video below. But the more I thought about this little verse in one of the smallest books of the Bible, the more it exploded inside me!

The verse simply says The Lord is good, A stronghold in the day of trouble, and He knows those who trust in Him. (NKJV) The little verse is nestled right smack dab in the middle of Nahum the prophet's declaration of God's vengeance on His enemies. Thankfully, we are believers and Jesus' blood covers us so we are saved from His wrath! 

Here Nahum is declaring the justice of God against evil and yet we find a 3-fold strand of grace.

Strand 1. The Lord is Good.

God is good, and His goodness doesn't fluctuate. He is good when things go our way and everything is smooth. But He is just as good when things are not going our way and we find ourselves in difficult and trying situations. His goodness doesn't change in response to circumstances. He is good. Always. Every day. In all circumstances.

Strand 2. A Stronghold in the Day of Trouble

I love that when my day (or days) go awry, He is my stronghold. I can run to Him. I can hide behind His grace. I can let Him carry me through the raging rivers of life. We always have a place to run to and it's in Him. He won't tell us that things got too complicated for Him. He'll never tell us He's too busy, too tired, or too anything. He will continue to protect our hearts. He's a stronghold we can trust.

Strand 3. He Knows Who is His

When we declare our trust in Him, we proclaim we are His - He knows just how much we are trusting Him whether it is a little or a lot. God knows us. He knows when we trust Him to get us from day to day in caregiving. He even knows when we hold back those hidden things we don't trust Him with. And because He knows we are His, He patiently waits for us to bring it all to Him as He undergirds us with His strength.

Today, I will take a walk through my own heart to see if there is anything I am not trusting Him with. I'll look around for areas that I am still trying to do in my own strength. My prayer will be for Him to reveal to me anything and everything that I am still holding on to as I commit to trusting Him with it all. Because He knows. My meditations will be on relinquishing my grip and placing all of my cares and concerns into His hand that is gripping me! Will you join me?

 

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Check out my bookstores. I have eBook devotionals, Bible study guides, poetry, and more in my Dove's Fire Ministries bookstore. My Amazon bookshelf has some of those in print or on Kindle.

Download Poems for Caregivers for free! 

Time for a Trim?

 

This morning, I was tending to my plants out on my front patio. I always go out in the mornings to move them around so they get optimal sunshine, and I water them. I noticed they had some dead leaves and stems, so I grabbed my scissors and started cutting away. When I finished, I stepped back and thought man, they look so fresh and pretty now!

I thought of the scripture where Jesus says that the master gardener prunes the branches so the plant bears more fruit. (John 15) As I gathered the dead bits and pieces I'd cut away, I wondered what things God might want to take out of my life - so that I can be more fruitful for His Kingdom. While I am very willing - I am also a bit hesitant.

As caregivers, we often feel such a sense of loss it's hard to cope with the extra knocks of life. Early on in my caregiving years, I discovered this after I'd racked up a large amount of credit card debt. Once I realized I was buying anything and everything I had an unction for to try and make the sense of loss go away, I stopped. That was a costly lesson. But now I can stop myself from silly purchases that are just trying to negate the sense of loss. 

We feel lots of losses - from our friends, even family, a "normal" life as we adjust to caregiving. So, to think that He needs to cut something more away - anything at all - it can feel like just another loss that is adding up. 

But here's the thing- He's not going to trim away one thing we need. He won't cut away to the "quick" so to speak. God so gently nips and tucks those empty things and frees us from needlessly carrying them forever. My plants didn't look bare when I was done, even though I thought they might! lol - They actually looked fuller when the dead parts were gone. That's the glory of our Master Gardener tending to us. When he's done, our lives will be fuller because of His work in and for us.

Today, I will yield to Him all my worries, concerns, and burdens. I will purposefully invite Him into the garden of my heart and ask Him to cut away the dead parts. I'll rejoice in knowing that as He works this heart-garden, it will be more beautiful when He's done. With gratitude, I'll welcome Him into my heart and life to create the beauty He sees in and through me. Will you join me?

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Check out my bookstores. I have eBook devotionals, Bible study guides, poetry, and more in my Dove's Fire Ministries bookstore. My Amazon bookshelf has a couple of those in print or on Kindle. My devotional 31 Days in Psalm 31 is all about seeking God from the cave! Check it out!

Plus - check out my live devotions and Bible studies on my Youtube channel!

#Overwhelm

 

Do you ever wake up in the morning feeling like you have an extra 9 million things to do on top of the regular 9 million things you do every day anyway? As if caregiving wasn't enough for a day, right? It's easy to feel like we are pulling in so many directions. And, of course, there'll be someone standing off in the distance reminding us to take time for yourself - the caregiver needs care too.  Smh. We sure do - but when? Am I right?

It can be so easy to feel overwhelmed. It's an overwhelm that doesn't go away while you're sleeping at night. It just sits there waiting until you get up, then boom. I think it never really goes away on most days. However, there are a few brief reprieves here and there. 

Does it ever feel like there are many things vying for your attention? The internet. My clients. My phone. Another text. eMails. Sometimes, even the things we use to cope and get through our days play into our emotional overwhelm. 

But there's this one scripture that is on my mind this morning. Psalm 61:2 - when my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I. David had his moments of overwhelm too. That just makes sense since he was a king running an entire kingdom! In Hebrew, overwhelm is a word that could be translated as shrouded, clothed, faint, hidden, or overwhelmed. Boy, that about says it all doesn't it?

How easily our hearts can become shrouded by our responsibilities and concerns as caregivers. But get this - the next word is lead. Guess what that means in the original Hebrew? It's also a primitive root and it means to guide, transport, bring or lead. When I am too overwhelmed to crawl - God can carry me and my overwhelmed heart to the Rock. He will not leave me stranded wrangling with my emotions or concerns. He will pick me up - with all my woes and transport me into His heart where He protects me, strengthens me, provides for me, and gives me His peace. Wow.

Today, I will wait for Him to pick up this mess I have become and carry me right to His heart. Then, I will hand Him each thing that is on my plate one by one. I'll let Him take me and my overwhelm into His heart will I will listen for its steady beat. If you look for me today - that's where you'll find me. Will you join me?

Set Up the Tent!

 

This morning, I found myself in Psalm 118. I was actually headed to Psalm 119. I know it's the longest chapter in the Bible, but man is it rich! But before I could get to it, my eyes fell on the column before. I read verse 15 of Psalm 118 which says this: The voice of rejoicing and salvation is in the tents of the righteous. I paused to think about this for a little bit and focused on three words: rejoicing, salvation, and righteous.

It just kind of makes sense that rejoicing and salvation belong in the tents of the righteous. But I backed up a few verses and found out that the writer just stated that the enemy had surrounded him. Verses 10 through 13 painted a rather dire picture with a glimpse of faith and light. The psalmist says all nations surrounded me - but in the name of the Lord I will destroy them. They surrounded me, yes they surrounded me; but in the name of the Lord I will destroy them. They surrounded me like bees...

Talk about feeling pressed on every side! Ever feel that way? Boy, I do! Our tasks and responsibilities can feel overwhelming as caregivers. We can feel surrounded for sure - pay this bill, make this appointment, order these supplies, etc. At times, it can be our emotions that surround us - who needs an "enemy"? Caregivers can feel overwhelmed with pain, grief, and fear. It can seem like our emotions are pulling us this way and that. Now, obviously, we don't want to "destroy" our emotions. lol. But we do know that when we feel surrounded, we have a refuge. We have a safe place to go - and that is our salvation, isn't it? I can't tell you how many times I've dumped my emotional overload on God's broad shoulders. And you know what, He's never rejected them or handed them back. 

Even when we are surrounded, overwhelmed, or uncertain we can still rejoice. How is that? Well, I'm glad you asked. I thought about his phrase for a while this morning. The voice of rejoicing and salvation are in the tents of the righteous. Even the caregiver's tent! How could that be? Because our righteousness is His gift to us. His salvation is a free gift to us - it just costs us a bit of faith, which He also gave to us.(Romans 12:3) The things God gives us cannot be taken away or shaken by circumstances. No matter how dire or difficult our situations become while we are on this earth - His free gifts stand. And that is cause for rejoicing!

Nothing can remove His salvation, His hope, His peace, His righteousness. His work is complete and secure - and in that, I can rejoice!

Today, I will set my mind on the things He has done that cannot be changed. I'll meditate on His righteousness, His peace, and His love. I'll think about how He doesn't withdraw any of His gifts or promises from caregivers. There will be rejoicing in my tent today as I think about His great love for me. There may even be a little bit of singing and shouting as I realize that His love for me is so secure tragedy, trials, or tribulation cannot shake it! Man, that's awesome! I'll think about His steadfast love all day as I trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

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Check out my ebook store where you'll find these "I Will" Declarations from Psalms for just a buck! Download it today! I also have devotionals, study guides, poetry books, and free stuff! My Amazon bookshelf has some of these books on Kindle and for print - check them out!

Refocusing

 Is it just me or does it seem like each day gives way to millions of thoughts? They aren't all bad - and that's a good thing, right? It just seems sometimes that there are so many things that happen over the course of 24 hours. My mind sometimes races from one thought to the next. Sometimes, it's dangerous. lol - Sometimes, it's calming. 

Last night, for instance, my son had a mild asthma attack. My mind and emotions went a million directions all at one time as I packed Chris' tube feeding supplies and my coffee pot with coffee pods. (The two essentials for hospital stays!) He was able to kick it, and soon settled into a good night's sleep. 

I wish I could say that I'm in a place where those seemingly little things don't trip me up or send me off the emotional cliff. Maybe you've got it all together, but I'll gladly admit my lack. I wish I had it all together - whatever "it" is. But I do not. What I do know, though, is that each time my circumstances start tripping me up emotionally and mentally, I have the opportunity to refocus. That's not to say it's always easy. Not at all. But once I settle down a bit and realize we lived ...again, then I can get my mind back on how He continues to carry me and my son.

It was so easy last night to give in to fear. I talked myself through all the what-ifs, have you ever done that? Once I walked through them mentally, I thought of all the times He had brought me through. Then, I was able to slowly refocus on His ability to care for me - and the feelings of not being enough, the fears, and what-ifs, began to fade away. He really is our help. (Psalm 121:2) He really is our strength. He really will carry us when we need it. Refocusing on what He can do instead of on what I can't do - brings peace. We are secure in Him.

Today, I will refocus on His strength. I will let my weaknesses drive me to Him so He can share His strength with me. My meditations will be of His sustaining power, of His willingness and ability to carry me. And I'll be thankful for how He watches over me - no matter where I am - home or hospital, or anywhere in between. will you join me?

Small Things

 

Sometimes, it's the smallest things that make the biggest impact. There's no doubt that our days are tough, even though we chose this walk. Of course, I didn't choose for my son to have a wreck, but I did choose to care for him at home. My aunt, I cared for but I had to have the help of a facility. No matter what our circumstances are, it's still no easy road. But sometimes, there are these tiny little happenings that make it "all better" if only for a moment.

This morning, I went out and looked at my little $12 flowers. I smile each morning as I pull off the dried blooms and look for all the new ones. There is something so refreshing about it, that I can't explain it. Growth and beauty change the way they look each day. I have to wonder if God tends to us the same way. 

Don't you think He looks on and enjoys our progress as we grow in trusting Him? He waters His garden and cares for the things He sees blooming in our lives. Maybe it's faith. Maybe it's self-control, endurance, or just in knowing Him a little more each day. (2 Peter 1:5-8) I think about how much joy these little flowers have brought into my days, and I have to think we give Him much joy too. I'm pretty sure it's a lot more for Him than these flowers give me. lol

I've quoted and used Isaiah 58:11 a lot. It's a promise to those who forsake their wicked ways and stop oppressing the poor and helpless. To those who help feed the hungry. The prophet says their light will shine out and God will guide them. Then it says they'll be a well-watered garden. I wonder, who is doing the watering?

I'm guessing it'd be God, right? As we lean into Him, trust Him more, and become more like Him each day - as He reveals the Son in us - He takes away the dead blooms so He and the world can see the beautiful new ones unfolding. All of this - as we are growing in Him. We are His well-watered garden. We bring Him much joy - just like we are. Just where we are.

Today, I'm going to think about how His hand reaches down to water my life. He spends just as much time and effort (so to speak) tending to His caregivers as He does for everyone else. Maybe more, lol. I'm going to remind myself today that I am His. He cares for me - no matter how crazy my day may become. I can still rely on Him to reach into my life and make a difference as He touches my heart. So, I can trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

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Check out my bookstores. I have eBook devotionals, Bible study guides, poetry, and more in my Dove's Fire Ministries bookstore. My Amazon bookshelf has a couple of those in print or on Kindle.

Download Poems for Caregivers for free!