Daily Devotions for Caregivers

 I LOVE my flowers. I enjoy houseplants, too. Maybe it's because I love being surrounded by life and beauty. The last couple of years, I haven't had the money to buy any outside plants. But this year, I went ahead and splurged even though the budget was super tight. I am so glad I did!  My inside, fully shaded patio has greenery and beautiful flowers hanging, creating a small haven where I can sip tea and read if I get a minute or two. My other patio has LOTS of sunshine most of the day, so this year I tried sunflowers, and I was not disappointed! I've so enjoyed them, especially in the early mornings, they seem to be so happy, smiling, and waving good morning! I've never had sunflowers before, so I didn't know how they would do. They do take some tending, but they seem to be doing pretty good. But I noticed yesterday that there are lots of dead ones, lots of beautifully bloomed ones, and plenty all ready to open up at next morning's light!  I hadn't really ...

 I "found" a scripture last week that described my typical caregiving day. It's in Genesys 42:36. Jakob has found himself in a hard spot. He lost Joseph a lifetime ago; now there is a famine in the land, and it's extreme. He sent his older sons to Egypt to get some food so they could survive. Now, the "mean" leader that they are unaware of is Joseph himself, who wants them to return. But he is requesting that they bring Benjamin to prove their story is true. Jakob cries out, "You have bereaved me of my children, Joseph is no more, Simeon is no more, and now you would take Benjamin?" (ESV) His next breath is spent with the thought that comes behind many sighs. Everything is going against me!" (NLT)  Have you ever felt that way? Things can pile up so quickly on any given caregiving day, and it can feel like everything in life is working against us. It can be a few big things, numerous "smaller" things, or a combination of the two that ...

 It simply is NOT easy taking care of another whole person. I don't know about you, but I find myself second-guessing nearly every decision. My hope was that this would get better over time, but it has not. No matter how big or small a matter is, it seems like there is always a question.  Did I make the right choice? Was that the wrong decision? If I'm not careful (overthinker that I am), I will let those questions drag me into the emotional abyss and convince me that every decision I've ever made was wrong. LOL. Funny, but somehow it happens! It's just hard to make decisions for another person, especially if they can't weigh in on things that affect them. For some of us, myself included, there's enough second-guessing about the decisions that affect us directly, without the emotional mix that comes with making decisions for (or about) others.  Yesterday, I had the opportunity to meet up with a missionary who visited my uncle's church last Sunday. We hit it ...

 Caregiving days can be a little bit (okay, a WHOLE LOT) crazy. I won't start with my list, because I know you have one that matches, or maybe a little bit longer! We understand how lonely the walk can be and how difficult each day is. Caregiver burnout is real, but for many of us, we have to ignore it and keep pressing through. There isn't relief on the way; the cavalry isn't coming! We often struggle under the load, but we can't let anyone know as I mentioned in a recent post . What we end up doing is finding ways to walk numbly through the toughest parts of our days, while hoping something brighter is on the other side. We can't talk about mental health  because someone might think we are not fit to be caregivers. But there are some ways to help. Firstly, as believers, we run to God's word for comfort, direction, and help. We know that He is our present help in time of need. And all our time - is a time of need. The old hymn comes to mind - I need thee, O I n...

2 Kings 4 tells the story of Elisha, who prayed for the Shunammite woman to have a child, and she did. The boy grew up and was working in the field one day when he grabbed his head in pain and then died. She headed straight for the prophet. Elisha saw her when she was quite a bit away and sent his servant, Gehazi to check on her. When he asked her if everything was okay, she answered, It is well.  One way to look at it is that it was her statement of faith. Another way to look at it is that it's an outright lie. Gahazi specifically asked her if all was well with her, with her husband, and with her son. But all wasn't well as the boy had died. I'll take it as her painful, but faith-filled declaration. She was probably numb on the inside, and like most mother's in distress she likely had tons of unanswered questions about the moment and the future. Yet she says, All is well. As caregivers, we can live in an "all is well" state. We don't tell people how we fe...

  For parents with disabilities who are balancing family caregiving and income goals, small business ownership can feel both promising and heavy. The business startup journey often collides with real entrepreneurship challenges: uneven access, fluctuating energy, medical needs, and caregiving schedules that don’t pause for deadlines. Too many resources treat disability inclusion as an afterthought, leaving parents to patch together plans that don’t match daily life. With the right framing, entrepreneurship can be built around capacity and support instead of pushing past limits. Quick Summary: Starting a Business as a Disabled Parent ●      Choose a business idea that fits your strengths, accessibility needs, and caregiving responsibilities. ●      Pick a business structure that supports your goals and protects you appropriately. ●      Use funding resources designed for disabled parents to reduce financial barriers...

 When my son had his wreck over 17 years ago, I didn't leave the floor we were on for 10 days. Then, I only went to the cafeteria to get something to eat. I recall waking up in the SICU waiting room, trying to recalibrate my mind to what was going on, and hoping it'd all been a bad dream. From the beginning, I knew that God was in it.  (Whatever that meant.) Honestly, I thought God would touch Chris, he'd do some rehabilitation, and we'd all go back to what we were doing before the crash. Somehow, I thought, and hoped, that I'd wake up and see God riding in a white horse and rescuing us. Obviously, that did not happen! I openly and frankly admit my frustrations with God and the times I spent so angry at Him for allowing this to happen. But I kept finding that I really couldn't do life without Him, wreck or no wreck.  I needed Him to hold me and carry me, no matter how mad I was at Him.  All of these thoughts came rushing back in as I was reminded of the story of...

 As I was doing my personal Bible study this morning, my eyes fell on an odd verse. It kind of stood out because it said, I ground them as fine as dust carried by the wind. I swept them into the gutter like dirt. (NLT) I thought, what in the world? So I read the next verse, which says, You gave me victory over my accusers... That's where I stopped. I remembered that Revelation 12:10 says that the Devil is the accuser of the brethren. These verses (Psalm 18:42-43) say we win over the accuser. I liked that, so I thought I'd camp there for a while. I do think our enemy gets some bad press, and he is often accused of things that he didn't do - sometimes stuff is the result of our bad decisions. But I also know that he likes to accuse us of things to discourage us or talk us out of God's blessings.  Some accusations he likes to throw at me a LOT: You don't have any faith or this wouldn't have happened (or you could reverse it)... You are a doubter and not trusting Go...

  One of the improvements my son has made lately is that he can communicate "yes" and "no" more clearly. He uses his left hand to sign, "yes." He's also started nodding his head for yes more consistently. To communicate "no," he shifts his eyes from one side to the other. As he has regained more function, this is broader, and now he is moving his head from side to side for an emphatic, "No!" I'm learning not to ask questions he might say no to. I need him to know that I respect his answers. But this morning, I forgot and asked him if he was ready for his shower. I got a whole head and eyes side to side, "NO!" lol. Too bad, it's shower day. A little compassion kicked in as I thought of all the mornings I've thought, NO! I do NOT want to get up and get started today!  So many times, caregivers are tired before they even begin, but must just get up and get going since there is so much to do! How many mornings have...

 As I was writing yesterday's post about finding  what we seek, I thought of another familiar passage. I went there because I was writing about waiting on God for strength. That always makes me think of Isaiah 40:31. But since I wanted to keep that in context, I backed up to verse 27.  The prophet Isaiah asks Israel, how can you say God doesn't see your troubles? How can you say God refuses to hear your case? (NLT) Then he says, Have you never heard or understood? I interpreted that as "Don't you get it?" And the answer, of course, is He's got you!  I am not sure we will ever be able to fully understand His grace, His strength, or His love. But that doesn't mean we are excluded from enjoying them if we can remind ourselves of them.  The question itself (Don't you get it?) makes me look back at what I am supposed to "get."  How can you say the Lord doesn't see your troubles? Interpreted: God sees you and your troubles, struggles, and situa...

 This morning, I was thinking about how many "enemies" David had. He ran from Saul for years. But at one point, the Philistines hated him, even though he'd been running and fighting with them. At Ziklag (1 Sam. 30:6), his own men talked of stoning him. Then in 2 Sam 15 we read the story of how his own son, Absalom, rose up against him. That's a lot.  As caregivers, it can feel like life is stacking "stuff" up against us constantly, right?  As I was thinking about all of these situations, I wondered how David kept his mind right. That's a lot to navigate, physically and emotionally. Thankfully, most of it didn't happen all at one time. It sounds like a typical caregiving day to me.  We never know what is going to happen in a day, when things may take a turn for the worse or for the better. Caregivers continue making the best decisions they can with the information they have available. This happens over time and sometimes it happens several times in a ...

  I'm working my way through Psalms for an upcoming book I'm writing on grief. I love that the psalmists were so expressive of their feelings, and that God let  them put them in the Bible. We can easily forget how human our beloved Bible characters were. They felt pain and joy. Many lived stressful lives. The Psalms are one of the most "human" books, I think, because we get to see a piece of how people like Moses, Asaph, the sons of Korah, and, of course, David, really felt. Psalm 73 was written by Asaph. He is obviously writing during a very troublesome time in his life. It was verses 22-24 that caught my eye. In verse 22, he admits his ignorance and foolishness. In the NLT (1996), verse 22 says,  I must have seemed like a senseless animal to You.  Boy, I've felt senselss and foolish before God, haven't you? But the first phrase of verse 23 is what grabbed my attention. Asaph has felt like he lost it before God, then he says, But I still belong to You. Man, I...

  This morning, I went to the fridge to get something. When I opened the door, I noticed a bag of grapes on the second shelf. Nothing significant, except that I thought I had eaten all of them. So, I grabbed the bag and ate the rest of them again. lol.  I thought for a second about the widow in 1 Kings 17. God sent Elisha to her house after he'd been fed by ravens by the brook during the famine. He asked her to make him a cake. Her reply is heartbreaking. She explained that she only had enough flour and oil to make a meal for her son and herself. That was it. She figured after that, they would just die.  The wise prophet told her to make him a small loaf first. Seems a bit selfish to me, but she obeyed. He then explained that her flour and oil would not run out for the rest of the famine. Sure enough. Her bin always had enough flour, and her jar always had enough oil. My imagination jumped on that one.  What if every time I opened the fridge, there was a small cluste...

  I love the Psalms, maybe it's because the psalmists were so raw and real with their emotions and feelings. They didn't hold back, especially David! They told it like it was. It was finding Psalm 13 anew that helped me start processing the emotions of caregiving. I felt lost. It seemed like God had pushed a "cancel" button on my life, and He wasn't even listening to me. When I found those thoughts and feelings mirrored in Psalm 13, it was like I found a license to hurt. It's okay to grieve; it's not a sin.  I return to the Psalms a lot for my private devotions and use them often in my writings. This morning, I found myself in a very familiar place: Psalm 91. I'm sure you are familiar with it too! But there's this one verse that caught my eye. In the KJV, NASB, and the ESV, verse 4 says something like this: He will cover you with His pinions  (what is that, anyway?) and under His wings you will find refuge;  His faithfulness is a shield and buckler...

One thing I love about my apartment is the bay windows stretching across the living room. As I was sitting here yesterday writing the blog post, I noticed two young men (kids, really) running down the sidewalk across the street. The older, taller boy was running out ahead of a smaller boy. I smiled, and thought about how tall the younger one was going to be when he grows into his long legs. Lol. Shortly after the two went out of view, a couple more kids came running by. Just happened to be a boy and a girl, mid-teens at least. But what caught my eye was that, even though he was taller and older than his female running partner, they were at the same pace. His legs were obviously much longer than hers, but they were running side-by-side. I realized he had slowed down to keep pace with her, even though he could have run far ahead!  I think God does that with us. He adjusts His pace to match our day and the way we are able to handle it. Some days go smoothly. We can clip along emotiona...

I could make a long list of the things caregiving has taught me. One thing I think I'd want to put at the top of the list is that God is a safe place. He doesn't respond in anger, even when I'm mad at Him. But He does listen to my cries, so intently that He hears all the emotions behind every tear that falls and every deep sigh that escapes. He gets it.  As I was walking back through Psalm 91 this morning, I had a deluge of thoughts. I thought about what it means to live in the shelter of the Most High. And how often I've found rest in His shadow. Oh, how I know this is true, even on the roughest of days. It's comforting just to know we have a place we can hide. And even though we don't physically hide in Him, we have that safe place for our raw emotions. He won't condemn us or kick us out. He won't give us that blank stare  either! As caregivers, we get it a lot. People we don't know stare at us blankly. Like, maybe they have tons of questions, but ...

 This week, I was thinking about Abraham and Sarah. They are our "faith" parents. Scriptures call Abraham the father of our faith. He believed what God told him beyond possibility and beyond hope. Don't we love to share the story of the promise of Isaac? He would be the one to continue to carry the promise to generations to come. Generations we are literally a part of by faith. We love a good ending, right? Especially one we get to live out! But it wasn't without human flaws. A story that looked like it might have failed due to the actions of mere humans, Sarah and Abraham. We love our Bible heroes, don't we? But it's easy to forget that they were human just like us. They dealt with emotions, thoughts, fears, and struggles every single day, too. But God gave them a promise. The thing about God's promises is that they don't always make sense in our heads. We can't always figure them out or imagine how in the world He is going to do what He promised....

  As caregivers, we deal with a lot every single day. Many things we don't (or can't ) even talk to others about. Some things, we don't share out of fear; we can't let them think we are incompetent or incapable of providing care for our loved ones. Other things are just not cool to share, I know you know what I mean! We can have so much going on in our heads and our emotions, but we keep it tucked away inside. Society doesn't allow brutal honesty. Sometimes, it's because hearing one's deepest emotional struggles makes others feel like they need  to do something, but we don't need anyone to do anything - we just need for them to hear us. But we keep things to ourselves in silence, mostly because others just won't "get" it. This open and raw honesty is one of the things I've loved about the Psalms. I was reading Psalm 13, where David was pouring all his honest thoughts out before God. He was speaking some of the unmentionables caregivers ...

 You know that scripture that says, casting all your cares on Him, for He cares for you ? Yeah, that one. It's 1 Peter 2:7. We've probably read it what feels like a million times. It's the execution that is difficult, not the reading. What is it that makes it so hard to give Him all our cares? I have a few ideas. But first, let's break it down a little bit. There are at least two ways to look at this highly memorized verse. And it's a good one to memorize, but totally useless if we can't actually do it! He cares for us can be interpreted to mean that He is an all-loving, all-caring God who is concerned about every detail of our lives. He cares. This is true. But another way to look at it is that He is doing all the caring for us, so we don't have to. Either way, He's helping us and caring for us! For caregivers who are often operating from a state of overwhelm, it's a constant all-day-long battle to keep rolling our cares over onto Him so He can do t...