Posts

When the journey gets Long

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The hospital is a familiar place for many caregivers. We lived there for over 4 months after my son's accident. And then there are times when it seems like we make so many trips they should offer us rewards like frequent flyer miles or something. (smile) Feeding tubes fall out, O2 levels drop below 90, falls or any number of things specific to an individual's care can send you running right back up there. Initially we had tons of friends coming to sit with us. But when the journey got longer they seemed to start disappearing quickly. After the hospital stay we were in two nursing homes and a couple of rehab facilities before we were able to settle in at home. Even though our lives were still changing and evolving everyone seemed to make the assumption that we were home, so everything was okay. They thought things were returning to normal. But in reality we were just trying to find a new normal . And of course, caregiving is a whole different world. Friends seemed to disap...

When the Word uses Words

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Many people think the life of the caregiver is one full of constant distress. In one way this is true in that there is never a dull moment and always something or someone to tend to. But once the initial shock is over, and we accept our role and find a new normal,  life just goes on like it does for everybody else. That's of course not to say that the caregiver's life is an easy one or that we are not concerned and busy with many different tasks....daily. Even though our minds and bodies go a hundred miles an hour all of our waking hours, there can still be an underlying heart peace. John 14:27 tells us that God gives us a peace that is not like the world's version of peace, which is not peace at all. I have to be the first one to say that not letting my heart be troubled and not letting  my heart be afraid are not easy tasks and it takes a lot of effort on my part. He gives us His peace; a peace that is way beyond our understanding (Philippians 4:7.It is up to us ...

Rest? Who Needs Rest?

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When I first brought my son home I soon realized that a good night's sleep was a thing of the past. It was like having an infant again where even if they sleep well, you wake up with every little sound they make. I finally adjusted and relaxed a bit until now I do get some sleep. In case you hadn't noticed, I'm pretty high strung and very active inside and out. I hate to sleep - I know I need it but it seems like such a waste of time. Do you know what all I could get done in that 6 hours? Yes, 6 hours, that's what I try to give myself because I just can't stand to sleep away one-third of the day. Actually, sleep and rest are two different things and as I have battled my own medical conditions of late (perhaps brought on by lack of sleep? *smile*) I have learned the importance of sleeping and resting. Sleep is the way we rest our bodies so they remain strong and fight off disease. But rest  is an inside thing. Maybe that's why Jesus said in Matthew 11:29 t...

Un-sacrificial Sacrifice

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There is no picture perfect view of a caregiver as each situation is unique. Some caregivers spend time looking in on a loved one and checking to make sure things are going along smoothly while others provide total care for their loved one. No matter where we fit on that scale caregivers give up  some portion of their lives to take care of another. In 2008 I was perched to explore the world. I had gotten rid of everything, moved to Chicago and was scheduled to go to South Africa the following January with a Bible school. Those hopes and dreams faded after I received the phone call about my son's wreck. Instead of flying to Africa, I was headed back to Louisiana to be with my son. Although it was quite the process to work through- It doesn't feel like a sacrifice; it's just what needed to be done. In Philippians 3:7-10 Paul talks about how he gave up everything to know Christ. Verse 10 states he was conformed to His death.  As a caregiver we allow ourselves to ...

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

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Aren't you glad we don't have a screen on our foreheads displaying our every thought? Sometimes it might be useful, but I know there are lots of things that run through my mind every day that I would not want anyone to know about. Caregiver's thoughts are busy - they have to be because we have so many things to work out every single day. Many times I've condemned myself for my own thoughts not realizing it really is the way we work through  stuff. But there are lots of thoughts that simply cannot be shared with others. For the caregiver there can be lots of things that we choose not to share. When I first brought my son home from the nursing home and started working with him full time, I realized how difficult life was for him. He struggles to do anything. I had some thoughts many would find unacceptable. The only one I dare share is that my thoughts were that it would've been better for him to die in the wreck rather than live this way. Immediately I condemne...

So Great a Love

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One of the best things I have purchased as a caregiver is a baby monitor. I found I was not getting up as much throughout the night because if I heard my son I could glance at the monitor and just see if he needed me or was just moving around a bit. It also allowed me to go outside for my coffee and Bible study but still be able to keep an eye on him and hear him. This is very helpful especially on the mornings he chooses to sleep in a little bit. As a caregiver for someone who needs help with just about everything but breathing I have to watch and listen for him constantly. There are not many breaks and this little monitor lets me hear and see him in a way that gives me a little bit of freedom too. Just like I keep an eye on my son and an ear open for his every sound, God is always leaning in our direction.  He always has His eye on us; and He is always listening for our voice. 2 Chronicles 16:9 states that the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to s...

On this Journey

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Ever have one of those days when you just need to be reminded that He is with you? I've had a few. He can send subtle reminders that He is near through a beautiful sunset, a rainbow stretched across the sky or the laughter of a child. Somehow these little lights in our day can help us remember that He is with us and He has not placed us on this earth and forgotten about us. I try to remind myself that we have the promise that He will never leave or forsake us. That is found in Hebrews 13:5 but it's actually a quote from Deuteronomy 31. In this chapter Moses is prepping the Children of Israel for a shift in leadership. He first tells the people that God is not leaving or forsaking them. Then he turns to Joshua and tells him that God is going with him and will never leave or forsake him. Then in Joshua 1:5 when God gives Joshua his charge He specifically tells Joshua again that He will never leave or forsake  him on the journey. Hebrews is just a re-quote of what God told J...