Daily Devotions for Caregivers

Rest is not a word we hear much as caregivers. Well, let me rephrase that. If you are anything like me, you hear that you should rest  more. Of course, these statements are made by people who first of all haven't got a clue about how impossible that is. Secondly, they make no offer to help so it could be possible. I just let their words go like water off a duck's back. Poor souls really have no clue. (smile!) I will say though, that out of desperation, I've learned a few ways to sneak in a rest or two now and then. It took quite a bit of ingenuity and creativity, along with pure exhaustion to figure it out. But eventually, I got it. It's not that I didn't appreciate their concern - they just had no idea what they were talking about. Let's look at some differences here. First, there is a difference in being able to rest and knowing you need to rest. Many times, we know we need to, there's just no one to take up that slack so we can. Secondly, there'

This morning I was reading along in 1 Corinthians 2 studying a particular topic and got to verse 3. I'm not sure quite why it shocked me as I'm sure I've read it numerous times before. But this morning, I just stopped and stared. Right there in the Bible - in the New Testament - on this side of the cross, were Paul's words. He said  I was with you in weakness, in fear, and in much trembling. I just looked at it for quite some time and read it over again and again. This is Paul, right? THE Paul who wrote a large portion of the New Testament. THE Apostle Paul who had a divine encounter with God. And he wrote it on this side of the cross. What kind of apostle is this who admits fear, trembling and weakness openly? The kind God can move through. I'm coming to understand how important it is to be totally honest with God. It's not like He doesn't already know anyway, right? He knows my weakness. He knows my fears. He knows my trembling and my crazy, all-over

I've been lost in thought the last few weeks, and of course busy with the holidays. Now that Christmas is past, I've turned my thoughts toward a new year. This morning I woke up thinking about some of the rough times that occurred this year. I immediately thought - but the word of God stands forever. It doesn't change due to our circumstances. I looked up the scripture reference and found it in 1 Peter. But he was simply quoting the verse from Isaiah 40. Verse 8 says this: the grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God stands forever. Since I like to look at things in context, I backed up a bit and started reading the first verse of the chapter. It's about comfort and how He is bringing an end to our warfare. Quite honestly, I got nothing on that. Caregiving is still going on. It's still complicated. It's still hurtful. It's still discouraging. However, in verse 3 I found something I could meditate on. Verse 3 of Isaiah 40 says this: A

This morning, I was reading in the first chapter of Ephesians. There are so many things God gave us, just because He wants to. This was just what I needed to hear this morning. As caregivers, many of us deal with a great sense of loss. We do not have a normal  life. We can feel separated and alone. Personally, I deal with the living grief  of losing my son - but still caring for his body. But as I was reading through these verses, I was reminded of the things I do  have in Him - things that are not removable. There's no way to lose the things we have through Christ. In verse three, it says we have every spiritual blessing  in Christ. Not some of them. Not a few of them... but every  spiritual blessing. That sounds so good, but what does it really mean? What are those blessings? They seem to unfold over the next few verses. In verse four, we were chosen in Him before the foundation of the world. Before He said, Let there be light  we were chosen. Why? Just because He wanted to

One of my all-time favorite scriptures is in Genesis16. Hagar calls out to the Lord over her son. It doesn't matter if she was right or wrong to me. She was in distress over the treatment of her son. I personally think she got the short end of the stick. No matter what led her there, she found herself sitting by the spring in the wilderness. That's where the angel of the Lord "found her." No matter how difficult or complicated the situation was with Hagar, she wasn't hidden from the Lord's sight. After she and the angel of the Lord had a little discourse, she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, " You are a God who sees." sometimes it's enough to just know that He sees us where we are. Honestly, other times it is not. (Speaking personally.) With the truth that He sees wherever we are in mind, take a look at Psalm 109. That is where I was reading during my devotions this morning. Verse 31 captured my thoughts and meditations. It say

The last few weeks I have felt the Lord speaking to me about getting up-close-and-personal with Him. I love the internet, it's been my lifeline. But I really want to know Him more, uninterrupted by the flow of the many voices that come across social media outlets. They are wonderful, don't get me wrong. But I want to step back for a minute or two and hear just from Him. This morning during my quiet time I had a verse come up in my heart. I thought it said, my heart follows hard after thee.  Yeah, I was raised on the old King James Version and so sometimes they still come up that way. lol When I looked it up, it actually says, My soul follows hard after thee.  It's Psalm 63:8. I decided to look it up in a couple of other versions too. The NASB translated this verse as my soul clings to You.  But then the NLT says it like I follow close behind You.  And my favorite is the Amplified which says My whole being follows hard after You and clings closely to You. My pursuit

Don't you hate sayings like time heals all wounds? Or my new (sarcastic) favorite, nothing lasts forever.  Yeah right. This too shall pass  - maybe, maybe not. I'm learning a lot of these cliches just don't cut it and they don't offer the consolation or comfort they are intended to provide. I must admit, the life of a caregiver can be less than ideal . It's not perfect. No one sets the goal of being a caregiver when they grow up. It's not on the list of careers to choose from. We inherit it. And we carry it well. And while I would not have chosen this life, I'm here now and I must say there are some distinct rewards that come from caring for a loved one. There are also some things about myself, and others, that I might not have discovered without caregiving. So I can honestly say I have no regrets. I will not say the transition was easy. Nor will I make like there isn't pain involved. I admit there is daily grief. But I will say that I think I have

Last Saturday I ran a 10K. I hadn't done that distance in a while, so I was excited to get out there and do it. I also hadn't had any kind of a break since Chris was in the hospital last month. I knew the course was going to be my friend. When you're  out in the open like that, there's a lot of soul-searching and praying that can go on. That was actually my goal for this race, to pour out my heart and  leave it all on the course  so to speak. And that's what I did. As soon as the race started I began emptying my heart before Him. After a little while, I told Siri to start some Natalie Grant. My prayers turned to praise and then to worship. The phrase in one song stood out above the rest as she sang You're restoring me piece by piece.  The realization hit me that over the last few months, He's been doing that. My thoughts shifted to some of the things God has been doing for and in me personally this year. I realized the restoration process wasn't dead

I am resolved that there are just some things I will never understand. The last three weeks have been very rough. Two friends have died and gone on to their eternal reward, my son's botched surgery, near death and hospital stay and Thanksgiving without family have all taken a toll on my emotions. Last night I was reading a post by someone whose son suffered a brain injury just a few weeks ago and he's making a remarkable recovery. I'm very happy for the family. But I have all these whys ? Why does one recover and get to go on with life and another doesn't? this just added to my frustrations and perplexities. I saw phrases that kind of made me mad. People say God is good.   And then they say God was with him.  Those phrases we tend to only use when things go our way or when we get what we wanted. Are they saying God wasn't with my son? I know they don't mean it - but since I didn't get the same wonderful results is God not  good? Was he not  with Chris

Finding the Perfect Holiday Gifts for Caregivers Caregivers usually need to juggle a wide array of responsibilities. In addition to their caregiving responsibilities, they may hold down a full-time job and take care of young children. Mix in the daily anxieties associated with normal life, and the caregiver constantly juggles stressful situations where they rarely have time to relax. So how can you find the perfect gift for caregivers during the holiday season? Here are some tips to help! Spa Treatment Anyone who works hard each day taking care of an elderly parent will appreciate some pampering at a spa. Set up an appointment for the caregiver, and pick up the tab! At a spa, caregivers have the opportunity to recharge and relax through a variety of specialized services. Typical spa services include massages, facials, manicures, pedicures and body treatments. Going Out One gift that won’t cost you a penny is providing respite . Caregivers rarely get to go out to

I think the only constant in life is the fact that change is constant. Just about the time we get where we are figured out and we settle in for the long haul, one little thing shifts. That catapults us into a new dimension it seems and we have to recalculate to proceed. I think about the GPS and when we make a wrong turn or miss an exit it so nicely says recalculating route.  Lol. Some days it feels like I do that every hour or so. I really thrive in structure, but that was one of the first things to go when I became a caregiver. Honestly, that may have been one of the biggest adjustments I have had to make. Each day brings totally different circumstances to be recalculated. Although it's been difficult, I've found a way to adapt to the constant changes. Like now. I'm writing the blog a bit later today and allowing Chris to sleep. That's so hard for me, but I overslept. Since we've come home from the hospital last week we've both been exhausted. Maybe I

A conversation I had with some people yesterday turned my thoughts toward prayer, so I was looking at the model prayer Jesus gave His disciples. It starts out with Our Father, in heaven . And that's where I stopped. For a few minutes, my thoughts tried to wrap around just that seemingly little point. Just think about it for a bit - our God, our Father - is in heaven. He exists. He is. I flipped over to Psalm 95. In verse six, the psalmist says, come, let us worship and bow down, let us kneel before the Lord our God our maker, for He is  our God. We are the people of His pasture and the sheep of His hand. He is. And He is our God. That's a good reason to take a posture of worship at His throne - in the heavenlies. If we back up to the first of that psalm, David says this: Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving, Let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms. For the Lord is a great God And a great King above all gods. In His hands are the depths of the eart

This morning I kept thinking about an old song. I like to hear my sister, Kenella sing it. It's called The Anchor Holds.  It talks about a ship that is battered and torn but that it's held sure by the anchor. No matter what the storm does to the ship - the anchor holds secure. Since I had the anchor on my mind, I decided to look it up in a concordance. One scripture stood out to me. It's Hebrews 6:19 and it says this hope we have as an anchor for the soul , a hope both sure and steadfast.  I like to read verses in context, so I backed up and read the entire chapter. It's talking about Abraham and how he hoped against hope and held to the promise of God.If you back up a couple of verses, you'll see that God simply wants to show us the promise of the unchangeableness of His purpose. It can be so easy for His purpose to get lost in caregiving. However, it's only lost to us - we just can't see it. But His purpose is never lost, never wasted and remains eve

Forgive me for my absence once again but we spent almost all of last week in two different hospitals. I know many of you know that drill! But we are home and I don't doze off every time I sit down now, so maybe I am almost caught up. I think hospitals are just part of the journey, but I still don't like them. Since my son is nonverbal I feel like I have to be right there every second. This time, my daughter stayed the first couple of nights too so we both got 2-3 hours sleep here and there. Thankfully we are all back home and back to a caregiver's normal. The home health nurse came by after Chris and I were back home. She asked if family helped. I told her my daughter helped immensely but no one else seemed to care. It's like they get used to it and figure we don't need anything. As caregivers we get used to living in crisis mode.  It becomes the norm for us - and the norm for them. She explained it this way. At first, for us that was Chris' accident 9 y

This week promises to be a busy week, and by that I mean a busier than usual week. My mind and heart are all over the place and I woke up this morning trying to sort through how I will adjust and rearrange to make everything happen that needs to happen. Sometimes it can feel like I always fall short, like no matter what I do, it's never enough. With tons of frantic thoughts running through my mind this morning I forced myself to consider where God told Paul, My grace is sufficient for you.  But I translated that to My grace is enough. I started thinking about that one word, enough . I did a Bible Gateway search for enough and found several interesting things. That was all I needed to get my mind going in the "right" direction. I thought about the woman in 2 Kings 4. She owed a huge debt and had no way to pay. Her sons were going to have to become slaves to pay off the debt, but the prophet stopped by. He told her to collect all the empty vessels she could and then s

If you know me much at all, you know I love the psalms, and coffee of course. Growing up, I missed a lot of the deepness of the psalms because I read them through religious eyes and failed to see the psalmist's humanity. There's nothing like real life and some time to help you see life with your eyes wide open. When we become real and raw with God - we start to see His work more clearly. One thing I appreciate about the psalms is the honesty. David, who wrote most of them, was open and real about how he felt whether he was elated or deflated. In a few psalms he sounds like me - very ambivalent in his emotions. On one hand, we trust God fully. On the other, we're angry with Him and trying to sort life out. But then there's the flip-flop back to absolute trust. Crazy ain't it? (I know you understand!) Sometimes I just look at one psalm at a time. David was usually pretty good about covering it all. He poured out his heart in amazing honesty, told God just how he

This morning during my devotions, my eyes fell on the last verse of Psalm 19. It's a simple prayer at the end of a beautiful psalm. David prays, Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer. David has just written about the majesty of God and the wonders of creation. He follows that with the power of the word to change a life and then follows it all with  this simple prayer. When my kids were growing up we had a rule. They could say anything they wanted to me - as long as they didn't have an attitude. I valued their honesty, and their feelings but explained there was a right time and a wrong time to say the exact same thing. They did well with it and we had some rewarding conversations. As they grew into their teen years, they were able to be honest with me, and I with them. We grew close. I think God feels somewhat the same way about His kids too. He values conversation. He values our thoughts and w

There's just nothing easy about caregiving, is there? Maybe the choice to do it is the easiest part because it is made based on love, at least for most of us. But the actual walking it out is so difficult. I'm talking more than just the daily chores here. There's the emotional strain, financial strain, worrying over making decisions for a whole other person, who in my situation and many others can't tell you what they want or need. It's like playing a life-size game of guess-and-check. I guess this is what I need to do... check. Was it right or wrong? Sometimes, taking on a caregiver's role can feel like it's because something went wrong  with life. It's certainly not the picture perfect  life we envisioned, is it? I taught public school for several years and not one time did a student have a life goal of being a caregiver. Pretty sure that one's not on the list. But we are here. One thing I prayed early on was that I would not let it make me bit

I make no apologies for the old picture! It's my favorite of my mom and me. Rumor has it that it was the last time I owned a dress! I'm so thankful that my mom is here this week, even though she continues to forget so many things we used to enjoy. For now, I keep her comfortable and happy, knowing our time is short. Emotions can be strung tight for the caregiver no matter what type of situation we are in. Our days are full of so many necessary activities we can barely have time to breathe. But breathing is good. If we are still breathing, then there is hope. We can still breathe a prayer to Him bringing Him every concern. It is an understatement to say my life changed drastically when I became a caregiver. And for some, it wasn't a sudden shock. But no matter what type of situation brought about a caregiver's role in your life, I want you to know you didn't lose a thing.  Naturally? Maybe. But not one spiritual blessing is diminished for the caregiver. Every p

Never underestimate the power of quietness. Let me explain. To say my hands are full today is quite the understatement. My hands, pockets, purse, house and heart are full to the brim today. But I love it. I am enjoying taking care of my mom and I'm overcome with a special kind of compassion. That kind of caught me off guard. Double-time caregiving is not for the faint of heart, though, just sayin'! (smiles) It's barely even noon (I know - running late... ), and I'm on a second pot of coffee and need a nap. What amazes me is when I take the time  to just focus on Him for just a few minutes, how He makes it all better. It's funny though, I literally have to "take" the time - it's not handed to me on a silver platter. I have to take that time to find rest in Him. My hands are busy and my heart is full, but when I take a few seconds to acknowledge His presence, to wait for Him, to allow Him to give  me rest, He never fails or disappoints. The prophet

This morning I woke up to a very hectic day ahead. My mom is going to come stay a few days again since my daddy is sick. This just means my usually busy morning got busier since I have quite a bit to do to prepare for her to stay. I also got up knowing it's going to be a  full  week. It means some schedule changing for me. I won't lie. It's difficult. But I love taking care of my mom. She's so pleasant in her child-likeness that this horrible disease brings on. And she's vulnerable and innocent. I love her. So this morning's devotions were cut a bit short as I started washing sheets and putting clean sheets on the bed. But, they were so good! I was thinking about how people say "God is good" all the time. But if you notice, they usually only say it when they get what they want. They got a job,  God id good.  They got a new car (and a large payment)  God is good.  They were sick and now they feel better - so  God is good.   But guess what! He was al

This morning I was pouring my heart out to God. That's nothing unusual, He's used to hearing me whine, cry, fuss and cuss. I had seen some areas where Chris has seemed to lose a lot of ground lately and it frustrates me. I feel like a failure. And as usual, I take all my cares to Him.  Remember He told  us to, several times throughout scriptures. So I did. I was thinking about all there is for caregivers to juggle. For me it's work,  therapy for Chris, ministry, writing my stuff, housework, etc. Who has time to do everything? Yet I find myself my own worst critic, condemning myself for not doing more. Are you kidding me?  So this morning I was bringing all this to the Lord. Asking Him to help me know how to get more organized. He may be tired of hearing that prayer. (lol) I wish I could get on some sort of schedule and stick to it. But you know how it is, just about the time you  do find a schedule that looks like it's going to work, something gets thrown into it

In my reading this morning, I came across an interesting scripture. It's solid, and truth of course, it was my line of thinking, crazy as it can be, that made it so interesting to me. The psalmist says in Psalm 68:19 Blessed be the Lord who daily  bears our burden, the God who is  our salvation.  (NASB) There are a few things that really stick out in this one little verse that's been hiding from me all this time. The first thing I noticed was daily . He takes care of us every single day. Isaiah tells us that He never gets weary. Actually, weary comes after being tired for too long, and He doesn't even get tired. Day after day He continues to undergird us with strength. He carries us when necessary. But this morning I noticed the part our burdens.  He carries us, yes, but He also carries our burdens. And here's where my thinking got a little silly. Honestly, I wondered if all my whining, fussin' and cussin' was a burden to Him and maybe that's what He

Yesterday, I was thinking about life and all it's become. I honestly had the thought that I like my life. Then I thought I guess I've adjusted to this new normal . And then I tempered it down a bit and concluded that at least I might not hate  my life as much as I used to. The living grief  I deal with every day can chip away at all life is supposed to be.  At tines, I miss who my son so much I become an emotional blob.Other times I can at least deal with it and find the best in each situation. And most of the time I fluctuate between the two, often in a matter of a few minutes. I'm starting to wonder if that's not really the source of the never-ending tiredness. Emotions can wear you out. But so can physically caring for another whole person day in and day out. So who knows if it's the endless chores or the emotional shifts that can render us exhausted and yet somehow sleepless. Maybe it's the overpowering combination of the two. While in this perplexed s

Well here we are facing another day. Caregiver's days are full of uncertainty. For instance, today I have some errands that have to be run. There's no waiting at this point, I have  to go get some things today. It usually never fails that when I've put something off and really need  to do it now , the aide doesn't show up. To preempt my possible frustration - I already have a backup plan in place. Sometimes just living with this type of uncertainty is frustrating I mean, why can't we just go to the store and get what we need, right? Sometimes it feels like it takes most of my energy just figuring out how  to get things done, let alone the actual doing  it. Maybe it's just me. By the time I work through all that, I'm too tired to get it done. lol Sometimes it can wait for another day, but sometimes I just have to "pull myself up by my own bootstraps" and get it done anyway. My feelings are irrelevant. At least that is how I feel much of the ti

This morning, I just woke up tired. I hate it when that happens, and I admit I've been burning the candle on both ends  for quite some time now. One of my primary goals right now is to find a way to organize my time better. What am I thinking?   How in the world can caregivers organize anything? Even if we do get all organized, something will happen, right? Maybe it's just me. It was actually easier when I first brought my son home because he slept a lot. Part of the recovery process though is constant changes. I've said before that change is about the only thing that is  constant in the caregiver's life! Right? Just about the time we get a "schedule" ironed out and in place, thinking it will work perfect for our needs as well as for our loved ones, what happens? Something. Anything.  We can be catapulted into chaos at any moment of any day or night. I have not-so-quietly tried to give in to it and just work with whatever life and Chris gives me each day.