Daily Devotions for Caregivers

 This morning, I reread the story of Ruth. I find the book interesting from the aspect of grief, actually. We start with three women, Naomi, Ruth, and Orpah. All three of them are widows. Naomi lost her husband and both of her sons, who were married to Ruth and Orpah. Naomi, her husband, and her two sons had left their homeland due to a severe famine. While in Moab, the two sons married Orpah and Ruth. At some point, the men all died. After some time, Naomi heard that Judah was thriving again, and there were plenty of crops; the famine was over. She decided to go home. Orpah eventually made the choice to stay in Moab with her family. Ruth, though, chose to go back with Naomi. What dedication, right? Or perhaps it was desperation. However, the story of Ruth demonstrates to us how God can turn our desperate times into generational miracles.  When Ruth and Naomi returned to the homeland, everyone was so excited to see Naomi. But she was still grieving. She explained that she no l...

  Life is loaded with pivotal moments, and there are many of them on the caregiving journey. One of the first pivotal moments on my personal CG journey was when my son was still in the hospital. I never left the hospital after his wreck, and we were there for over 3 months. There was this one day, though, when the reality of it all was starting to sit in, and I was trying to sort it out emotionally. I couldn't even think about or plan for the future because I had zero to work with at that point. I had finally figured out that life had changed, and it was going to be a long, difficult journey at best. I went out for a walk and decided that I couldn't walk it for Chris, but I could walk it with him. I remember going back up to his room and crawling up beside him on the bed and telling him that. Of course, he didn't acknowledge anything because he wasn't really waking up yet. But it didn't matter; I was resolved and committed to the journey even though I couldn't s...

 In 2 Samuel, we find the story of Mephibosheth, Jonathan's son, and Saul's grandson. David was looking for someone - anyone from Jonathan's household to bless now that he's king. Someone told David about Mephibosheth, who was "lame in his feet." When the nurse grabbed him to flee after Saul and Jonathan were killed, she fell and crushed his feet while saving his life. Here he is now, grown and has a son of his own! But he is still bothered by the injury from all those years ago. I'm sure if modern medical treatments were available back then, it was probably something that could have been fixed.  David invited Mephibosheth to come eat at his table. He also ordered all of Saul's land to be restored to Mephibosheth, but the invite was specifically to sit and eat at his table. Mephibosheth accepted gracefully.  Remember that they didn't have ADA back then! In fact, those who were lame or had physical flaws were often prevented from coming into the kin...

 Do you ever just feel wiped out?  Who am I talking to? Of course, you do from time to time; you're a caregiver! Lol. This weekend I pushed extra hard to get a couple of projects done for work as they are both big projects and both are due by the last day of the month. Of course, none of the caregiving responsibilities are put on hold while I try to cram extra hours on the clock to finish up the projects. Don't get me wrong, I am very thankful  for the work, but also tired because of the extra expenditure of energy. Wiped out is about as close as I can get to how I feel this morning - and there's still more to do! Plus, caregiving doesn't have a "hold" button. During my brief personal devotions this morning, I was pretty sure I was too tired to hold my Bible up so I could read it. Lol. That's not really much of an exaggeration. That reminded me of a time in my life that was far worse. I really was too tired to hold my Bible up. It was 1986, and I was sick ...

 I've spent the last couple of mornings in Philippians 4, just reading it over and over again. I have to take small bites and meditate on them throughout the day. That's a great way to really get the good stuff down in the heart! This chapter grabbed me a few days ago, but really, all I was doing was taking another look at verse 13. I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength. Honestly, I just needed strength to get through another day and I knew just where to go to get it. But what started as a morning devotion turned into a 3-day spiritual retreat. I love it when God does that! Over the last few days, I've let my mind walk through this chapter as I've read and meditated on various phrases it contains. Paul was not in an easy spot in his life when he wrote it. Yet, he found great peace in trusting God. I'm pretty sure we can do that, too!  This morning, I was traipsing through the Psalms, preparing for my weekday Facebook Live devotional, "Peace ...

 In life, in general, there are always lots of things going on at the same time, and it's no different for caregivers. Maybe it takes it all to a whole new level when you're caring for another whole person, though. There are tons more elements that have to be juggled. But there are still a lot of good things happening (even if we can't feel it right now), and a lot of more difficult things happening, too. Each day is a mixed bag of events that we can rate and categorize into good and bad. Navigating all the day-to-days emotionally is sometimes one of our biggest struggles. After my son's wreck and my caregiving journey began, it was years before I felt like it was "okay" to laugh again. This is the case after such an emotional trauma. Eventually, my emotions healed to the point that I could enjoy a funny movie, even if the movie didn't match where my life was and where it was heading. Finally, I got to the point where my emotions were not stretched quite a...

 One of my biggest pet peeves is people parking in handicapped spots when they don't have placards. To me, it communicates that they don't care about anyone but themselves, and they have no compassion for those who don't have the mobility to get around easily or need a bit more help than able-bodied individuals. In some ways, it communicates that we just are not important. And that is interpreted in my mind as no one cares. There are many other things in the caregiver's life that communicate we are not that important.  It's easy to find ourselves walking this journey alone with very little to no outside help, inadequate help (I've been through aids!!!), and tons of other areas where we feel great lack. No wonder we deal with caregiver burnout day after day. Especially since there is not usually any relief in sight. When everything around you is screaming that you are not important, you are not valued, you are not worth it - God says, Stop! We have great value to...

  Don't you just love the "you have to take care of yourself" speech? (sorry - there's not a way to type sarcastically!) My son's nurse was here for her visit yesterday and she started asking me who I called when I needed a break. I just laughed at her. I did explain that if there was some sort of emergency, I have family who could help out, but other than that there is no one to call for a "day out." I know she meant well. They always do. But it has the effect of making me face the cold, hard truth that I'm in it all by myself with no relief in sight. I'm okay with that, I think.  I understood her concern, really, I did, but it was emotionally paralyzing to have to come face to face with reality. Maybe it's a little bit like telling someone to move a paralyzed limb. They can't. But you keep telling them that's what they need to do - just move it... right? It's just not going to happen. So, as caregivers, we just keep adjusting an...

 If stress is a sin, then caregivers are the chief of all sinners. Lol. Parents and teachers are next up in the line of top sinners in the world. Stress is not a sin, it's a term used for a physical response to a change in circumstances. As caregivers, there are so many things that can cause stress in a day. We live in stress and survival mode. We get a phone call, our loved one falls ill, they fall physically, rush trips to urgent care or the ER, and nine million other things can increase our overloaded stress levels. But it doesn't mean we are not continuing to trust God in the stressful caregiving moments.   It's a fact - there will be stress! And we will learn how to deal with it. But our Bible heroes, even all the ones listed in the Hall of Faith (Hebrews 11), had stress. David wasn't stress-free when he was sitting in the back of the cave, hiding from Saul, who was trying to find him and kill him. I have no doubt that Job was stressed out as he learned over the co...

 I just stood and stared at my sink full of dishes. My dishwasher is broken and it hasn't been replaced yet, so my sink gets full quickly, especially since I make a blendarized diet of real foods to use for tube feeding my son. It seems like I can't keep up even when I have the dishwasher, although I certainly have new, deeper appreciation for it, now. Lol.  As I stood there, I remembered something one of my friends had shared. She was in Chicago at the time and had gone to visit a couple. The woman was disabled and her husband was taking care of her, they had a young child, and he was working outside the home at the time. My friend asked a couple of times if there was anything she could do to help, but he kept telling her no. She went to the kitchen for some reason and saw the dishes piled high and the kitchen a mess. She asked me what she should have done. I told her do those dishes even if he doesn't like it - it's a sign that he is totally overwhelmed and it will he...

 Lots of things running through my mind as I sit to write this morning. Just this week, I've seen God's hand in so many things. There were three HUGE things I was dealing with, and I gave them to Him in prayer. Finally learning that's the best option, since worrying didn't seem to make any difference. Lol. Boy, if worrying could put money in the bank - I'd be rich for sure. Lol. But since it doesn't, I have to resort to other methods like work - and prayer, of course.  I tried not to think about these three things over the weekend too much, but when they came up in my mind, I'd just pray them back to God. There are so many things that concern caregivers. I think maybe we have far more than average. It's probably at least double since we are caring for another whole person, right? And maybe, in some ways, our prayers and concerns are heavier since our hearts live in a burdened state from carrying so much day after day with no break in sight.  The real val...

  Grief is one of those things that cannot be understood or explained. It's different for each individual, and we all deal with it in different ways. Some stuff it down and try not to process grief at all. Others cry a lot, while some express grief as anger. No matter how we slice it - grief is there because of a loss. Somehow, even though grief and sorrow are a huge part of just being alive, it's still something we don't discuss. Maybe it's because it's such a difficult emotion to process, or it's something that simply cannot be "fixed." You can't just be sad for a little bit and move along with life as normal because somehow, something, everything just changed.  We can also grieve over a lot of different things. Of course, we grieve when someone we love passes. But we often overlook grief. When the world was in full-on pandemic mode, it took me a while to realize we were grieving over the loss of our lifestyles. Those who worked out of the home h...

 One of the things caregivers deal with almost across the board is social isolation. Even if we can get out and about, it's not like before. It took me a while to realize that I was feeling so cut off from normal socialization. Some caregivers have family or friends who help, and some do not. It can definitely be a lonely walk. I was so social before that being alone all the time and caring for a nonverbal adult wore me down quickly. Combine that with very little to zero help, and it's a slippery emotional slope for sure! Add to the emotional mix people judging us for not asking for help and not being available if we finally do - and we can be a mess!  But this morning, I found the verse I needed to hear for the day. It's Psalm 39:17. The New Living Translation says it this way: As for me, I am poor and needy, but the Lord is thinking about me right now.  That jumped off the page and went straight for the heart, then my brain ran away with it. Right now? Is God really tha...

  Caregiving is tough. Thankfully, God is tougher and a lot more understanding than people. As we navigate through each day mentally, emotionally, and physically, it's easy to get tripped up. Sometimes, because we live so on edge, it's the littlest things that tip us over, and all sorts of emotions pour out. If you are like me, maybe you try to not get to that point. But it's difficult because we live on edge. There are times that I just scratch my head and wonder why in the world I got so mad just because I dropped my pencil or I couldn't get the trash bag to open using just one hand. The struggle is real. Lol. Our emotional cup is full. We can live in stressed-out mode. And there is absolutely no condemnation for living under the emotional load. Most people cannot fathom the pressure involved in the day-to-day lives of caregivers. What's worse is they ignore us because they don't get it. Abandonment and loneliness take their toll, too.  Romans 8:1 reminds us t...

 Do you ever have days when you feel like life's giving you the old sucker punch? Some days, it feels like it's just blow after blow while you're not looking, not anticipating it, or too busy paying attention to all the tasks at hand. We already have a lot on our plates without the extras being thrown in. But try as we might - those days still come. Yesterday was one of those days for me. There was just one thing after another - some pretty big (finances), some smaller (my dishwasher broke), and a whole lot in between just for good measure, I guess. Lol. Even though there is an obvious choice to make to just trust God - it doesn't always come that easy. There are emotions to work through. Racing thoughts to settle down and try to make sense of, and that's just the beginning. You'd think we would be exempt, right? But no. Even though there is enough on our plates already, there are still days when it just keeps piling up. The worst part? We can't even stop to...

 In the 70s, we sang scriptures. Anyone who could play an instrument seemed to be able to put music to a verse or two or even a phrase or two. It turned out to be very beneficial for helping memorize scriptures! Lol. This morning, as I was reading, I found a well-sung verse in Psalm 149. In verse 6, the psalmist penned, Let the praises of God be in their mouths and a two-edged sword in their hands.   It was sung in a song called  God's God an Army.   But I read it with new eyes this morning, and it posed a few questions.  One. Why are they carrying a sword? Two. Why are they singing and  carrying a sword? And three. Can you praise God while in the battle? Well, a sword is an offensive weapon and our faith is a defensive weapon. In fact, in Ephesians 6, where Paul describes the armor of God, the sword is the only offensive weapon. All the rest provide defense. (Faith, truth, salvation...) I imagined a warrior carrying a huge sword and singing about God's goo...

 Hey my caregiver warriors! No one understands the everyday battles faced by those of us in the trenches! Am I right about that? I was reading a book this week and it mentioned something about warriors being allowed to weep. After a few minutes, as I thought about the power of that statement - I wrote this poem. So, straighten your armor, tighten your helmet, and let's trust God for one more day! The Weeping Warrior The long, hard battle is far from over But the weary warrior seeks reprieve – Taking but a moment to think – to live – to breathe.   She pries her white-knuckled fists from the handle And steps away from the sword, bloody still – Just one step as a single tear slips by The heavy scents of battle hang in her nostrils Tears come like a river – then a torrential rain Falling down her cheeks – carrying away the pain.   Helmet half-cocked – shoes ragged and torn Fingers poking through tears in her gloves But the warrior refuses to mourn.   It’s time to go- tim...

 Those who know me know that when I find something that gives substance to my weary soul, I camp there! So, we are looking at Psalm 143 again today. Yesterday, in The Baser Things of Life , we looked at how open, honest, and real David was with how he felt about his life at that spot. He was rung out - boy, can we relate! But today, we're going to move down to verses 8 through 10.  I found an interesting pattern in these three verses. David was praying for God to have a specific action. But the psalmist also had an equal action. He prayed in verse 8, let me hear of your love in the morning. but he offered an equal action - for I am trusting You.  In verse 9, David prays for God to show me  where to walk. David's action was - I have come to You in prayer. Yes, that's an action! Bringing it all to God in prayer involves a lot of action. Leaving our "it" with Him takes more intention and purpose, but we must first come - and God won't tell the caregiver that He c...

  Caregiving is not very glamorous. It can be even less glamorous depending on the level of care your loved one needs. My son is total care, so I have to literally do everything for him. He can't even push up his glasses or choose a shirt to wear. There are lots of unmentionables that have to be taken care of each day.  Of course, I post all his progress and the good stuff in his Facebook group. But we do not mention other things. (I'm sure you get my drift!) It seems like the more personal needs are the most troubling to my heart. They are unpleasant, but it's part of taking care of the whole person. We can't just skip the stuff we don't like. Honestly, some days I don't like any of it. I wish I had my son back! The other day, I was taking care of some of his more personal needs, and I thought that it was just gross. Of course, we're not really supposed to say that, right? I would never say it to him! lol. I was like ugh! But it must be done. I told him I l...