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Showing posts with the label emotions

Help! I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up!

Do you ever feel that way? Sometimes our days can be so very busy with all the tasks that must be done to take care of our loved ones that the weight of those responsibilities and our emotions can make us feel that way. We cannot wait until the emotions drag us down to the depths of despair because it is a very difficult climb out. I am finding that as soon as I feel overwhelmed I must take action so that depression does not get a hold on my emotions. Once they take you under - it's a long climb out! The second emotions start firing at you and trying to drag you under is when you have to stop it. That sounds really easy - but in reality it's a whole struggle in itself. But we can do this. This morning I encouraged myself with Psalm 121. The psalmist is looking for his source of help. Where does my help come from? There are days that it seems there is no help for us. But we, like the psalmist, must lift our eyes to answer our own question - My help comes from the Lord! He is...

Maybe it's Backwards...

I do not have to describe the huge emotional swings caregivers can experience even in a matter of minutes. And when we do have those moments when we are really down - who is there to help us up? Sadly, many of us suffer silently and alone. This just makes the process of working ourselves back out into some sort of hope - even more difficult. But it's do-able... To be totally honest - I have been on the downward side of things of late. It's been more difficult than usual to try to get my head back up above water so I could breathe again. And I think I still have a ways to go. This morning I was thinking of Psalm 13 - O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever? (It is somewhat comforting to see that a person He used to write the Bible felt the same way I do!) How long will You look the other way? How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day? How long will my enemy have the upper hand? (NLT) I can honestly say I feel this way during thos...

Good Morning!

Jeremiah is sometimes called the weeping prophet. To many he seems to be a very big whiner. But he carried such a passionate burden for the people of God that he wept much of the time. If you briefly turn through the pages of Jeremiah you will find some very harsh things God had to say to his people. And besides obeying God and having to speak to His people in such a manner, he was imprisoned and persecuted. Lamentations gives us a closer look into the tender heart of this prophet. (Yes, a prophet does have a tender side!) He wept over the disobedience of his own people and he did not understand why they didn't just obey God. I am sure when he was mercilessly thrown into the mucky pit he wondered if his life was over. He was left to sink in the muddy mess and basically left for dead. Do you think he ever questioned God's call on his life? As a caregiver and the huge life changes that role brought I have found myself questioning God about many things. But in Lamentations 3:1...

Yet One Thing ...

It is very likely that there have been many losses for the caregiver. And these losses can cross many levels. For instance, we lost the person as we knew them and we lost our own freedom and lives.These losses can go to a deeper level when we look at how our emotions have been ransacked by the trauma, and how our lives have been turned upside down in the process. Now in reality most of us do not count the loss, we are motivated by the love we have for our loved ones and these are not things that we sit around and calculate. We just keep putting one foot in front of the other doing all the tasks that need to be done to make sure they are cared for properly. In a life where many things can change with just one phone call, or one slight miscalculation, it is comforting to know that some things simply will not  change. Of course we know that God's love for us will never change. But 1 Peter 1:4 says that our inheritance is imperishable, undefiled and will not fade away ... No matter...

Where Would He Go?

The caregiver's life is full....of caregiving! Our days are filled with assisting another perform their own SDLs. (skills for daily living) This can range from minimum assistance and supervision to complete 24/7 care. No matter what level of assistance we give, it's not easy taking care of someone else. We are very quick to put our own needs on hold to serve our loved one. In essence, we already lost our lives - at least the one we knew before - to care for them. And it's not always easy working through the emotions that go along with any given caregiving situation. So how do we deal with it ?  The first thing to consider is that Jesus put His "life" on hold to take care of us too! He left eternity to walk through time only to be mistreated, persecuted and killed. In His darkest moment at Gethsemane, He did not consider His own emotions, feelings, wants or desires more important than completing the task the Father had sent Him to do...and that wasn't for His...

For Those Who Are Alone

Sometimes all we can do is trust. There are lots of questions and rather than providing a nice distraction,holidays seem to create more dilemmas and questions than answers. It can be funny if you want it to - if you can lighten up a little bit. If you think about it long enough and how difficult it can be to get through even just a normal day - and then add to that the hectic-ism of the holiday plus the fact that everyone else thinks we should be excited about it - it really is kinda funny! This is for all of those who are overwhelmed by the holidays rather than enjoying them. Perhaps you have found yourself alone once again; or maybe it is insurmountable situations that are nagging at your heart. Yeah, sure everyone thinks you are supposed to be happy just because it's Christmas - but that is really only in the movies. Santa Claus doesn't really come! lol! And a cheerful heart doesn't magically appear! So how do you hold on in the season where everyone else is rejoicing...

Healing Rest

Early in the mornings I go in and feed my son through his peg tube, change him and get him comfortable. Shortly after that he usually goes off into a deep sleep; a restful sleep. I checked on him just before starting to write this morning and he was out ! I thought, he's getting good, restful sleep...healing rest. I figure that when he is sleeping real good and letting his mind and body rest that he is healing. We know rest and healing are connected.  What does that mean to the caregiver? Because as a caregiver, we have pain every day. It never real goes away because we are dealing with a stressful, painful situation all the time; so it hurts all the time. We see our loved one not able to function fully on their own and to need help with simple, daily living skills. They are not who they were and in my case I grieve a lot over the loss of my son - even though he is still here. Yet he's not still here - not like he was. And as we walk out each day, each step along the way...

Caregiver's Fog

Ever just have a day (or series of days) where it's like you're walking around in a fog; it can be so dense you almost feel like you have to remind yourself to breathe? Those are the days where we just function to take care of our loved ones. It doesn't have to be the result of anything specific that happened...just a process that seems to recur every so often because of the day to day life of caregi ving.  After being in the caregiver's fog for a few days it just sort of lifts, doesn't it? And sometimes it is the smallest action on the part of another that causes it to go away: a simple phone card, a note in the mail - it doesn't take much for the fog to descend, but it doesn't take much for it to drift away either! And the funny thing is that it is just gone and the song in our heart returns...no warning either way - the song is gone, there's the fog, the fog is gone, there's the song! (you really aren't crazy ! - it's the caregiver'...

Oh! Those Emotions!!

You know how easily the caregiver's emotions can jump around! (or is it just me?) It's like we live on the edge and any tiny little thing can tip us right on off. Frustrations can build and there can seem to be no quick way to reel it all back in. And for me - I get just plain mad...at the situation, at the church, at other people, and yes... at God. (not that this is very profitable - but at least it's honest!)  I really think He understands though. He created us to have emotions and His love (which is an emotion and an action) is what drove Him to make sure that man had a way to get back to Him. He knows that we are just flesh... He created us! He realizes that we are only dust ...but made in His image. And according to Psalm 139 He is very intimately acquainted with all of our ways to the point that He knows our words before they were thoughts.That's just amazing to me...that God is so vast - and yet took such care with the intricate details of our makeup.  It...

Body, Soul and Spirit

God created us to be a triune being, meaning we are comprised of three parts - we are a spirit being, we have a soul, and all this is housed in our body. Our body is the only temporary part of us and yet we worry more about it than the other two parts many times! Of course it must be well taken care of as it is the only way we can keep our soul and spirit here on earth. It is interesting to note that there are three consecutive chapters in Isaiah that generally cover all three areas. Isaiah 53,54 and 55. Actually, Isaiah 53 covers all three in itself, but much of it is speaking of the body; or perhaps it is just that we apply it more to the healing of the body - it speaks of all three parts of man in this chapter alone. But in its general reference it is talking about literal stripes upon the physical body of Christ which brings healing to our physical body as well. (side note: just because we do not see our loved ones raised up in an instant does not mean God does not still heal......

Looking At Today

Each day we get up - seems to look a lot like yesterday. Most days seem to be the same and it seems silly to expect anything different of today. Sometimes it seems that days are cyclical and just go round and round again with identical tasks repeating themselves...and so we face another day... It can be easy to get emotionally sucked in when days seem to be the same. And just as easy to sink into the longing for days gone by - you know, back when we had a real life. Back when we could come and go at will and enjoy the park or the zoo for an afternoon. And other luxuries such as shopping for groceries without watching the time so closely, or catching an afternoon movie.But letting the thoughts run freely through the freedoms that have been lost will only bog us down...we really must move into today and embrace it. It's not the grieving over our lost past that causes the biggest problem; it's thinking it will always be this way that gets to us. Jesus said in Matthew 6:34 do n...

Can I Call In Today?

Do you ever feel like that? You know, like back when we had real jobs and we could just call in if we got up in the morning and needed a day off for whatever reason. Caregivers do not have that option. Even if we get a "day" off it takes quite a lot of organizing and planning to make a short escape. And you can't do it too often because others get tired . Hm... Anyway - after the big Mother's Day activities and all the emotional swings that goes with that I just wanted to call in this morning. But of course I realized that there's no one to call! It just does not happen and it's not available as an option. So we have to make it through another day! I am so glad that the Lord doesn't need a day off. And as I was wondering how He was going to have the strength to carry me through another day of caregiving, I came across a very familiar scripture. It's in Isaiah 43:1-3. It is a very familiar passage but there is still living comfort in knowing that ...

Back to Basics

Emotions can run high for many caregivers. We keep them all stretched out all the time. When things like recent natural events like the tornadoes in Alabama occur it seems to stir them up even more than usual. For me - I cannot even watch real intense movies or TV shows because the emotions are simply too raw most of the time. The emotional strain of caregiving can be very overwhelming - and difficult to control. Then add in a terrible tragedy like the recent devastating tornadoes and they can be difficult to get it all balanced and manageable again. During the times that emotions are running so high it can also be difficult to find something solid to cling to. We know the Lord is our rock, our refuge and our constant hiding place but when the world is falling apart we need something to hold on to while we are hiding in Him! These are the times we may find it beneficial to go back to what I call the basics. The most basic truth we learn as Christians is God's unfailing love . N...

Taking Care

As with any type of trial, caregiving has bad days and better days. Each day is filled with its own struggles and hopefully triumphs! But there are those days that there has to be  conscientious effort to lay our burdens on Him. And because we are superman in so many ways, this can be a difficult task. I mean face it, we are the ones expected to hold it all together...but what if we are falling apart? Oh trust me, we are good at this and we will hold it together to get our loved one through the day! Even if it means we sneak off to our room now and then to let it all out! But those times when we are so totally overcome by exhaustion and emotionally wiped out there's only one thing to do. Lay it at His feet. One of the scriptures we are taught at a very early age is 1 Peter 5:7. We are taught to cast all your care on Him, for He cares for you. And I think there are two ways to interpret this verse. One of course is that He is a loving, caring Father and we can give Him all our ...

Through the Storm

There are many ups and downs in the life of a caregiver. One minute (literally) there can be excitement and the very next emotions can totally bottom out. Believe me - this is no indication of sanity or the lack thereof! We know days, moments, and seconds can go up and down. There are good days and bad days. Some days it seems easy to keep a handle on things (ie - things are going well!). Other days it seems like life has passed us by and there is so much on our plate and it's just difficult to handle even the little things. Days like that make it difficult to remember that He directs our steps. Actually, when things are difficult it's easy (at least for me) to become angry with God because the steps of life have taken this direction into full time caregiving... He never promised us that everything would be easy or simple. He did not even create the earth as one great plain with no ups and downs. He created the mountain heights as well as the valleys low. And it all balan...