Daily Devotions for Caregivers

I want to apologize. I'm truly sorry but I just didn't want to get up and write a devotion this morning. Not that I don't love you guys, but I'm just tired, and it's my own fault really. I was up late last night finishing up an overdue project for a client and this morning I really wanted to sleep in. But as you fellow caregivers know, that's not always an option.  Things just have to be done. They can't be put off, can't wait for another day - each day is laden with tons of things that simply have to get done when you are providing total care for another whole person. My early morning routine looks something like this: Hit the snooze (repeat 5-6 times) Hit the button on the baby monitor to see if Chris is awake yet Stumble to the kitchen to put on coffee Get Chris' bolus together Push the button on the coffee pot Open the other eye Change and bolus Chris Stumble back to the kitchen to pour my coffee Drag myself, my laptop and my B...

Sorry I missed a day and I'm running late. To say my plate is full  would be an understatement - but I know my fellow-caregivers understand that. Just today I've dealt with a home health nurse and a case manager. It was all routine but all before noon, really? I finally got to sit down and enjoy a cup of coffee (okay so it's my third pot - hey I was up late!), grabbed my Bible and just started reading. I was actually preparing for a lesson I'm going to teach tonight but something caught my heart. In 2 Timothy 2, Paul told Timothy this, God's truth stands firm like a foundation stone with this inscription: "The Lord knows those who are His." I just stopped when I read that. My thoughts went to my new normal life. Most of you are all too familiar with the daily grind. But the other day I was talking to a friend about the not-so-daily part meaning the emotions  that can be a struggle. We discussed the depression, anger and frustration that can lie just ...

I've always been open and honest about my feelings and how I have dealt with caregiving. I usually at least try to clean it up a bit before I spill it out on the page for the world to see though. Maybe a "thank you" is in order! (Just kidding - lighten up!) It seems I've found a way to deal with caregiving at least a little more gracefully than when I started the journey. There are daily struggles, as you all know, and numerous battles along the way. Caregiving isn't for the faint in heart. We give up our dreams, our goals, our jobs, other relationships, and our lives to serve the one we love. On one hand, it's the obvious choice and it seems easy; and on the other hand it's the most difficult job in the world. One of my biggest struggles personally was giving up ministry. I had goals and dreams and passions that seemed to fall by the wayside as I stepped into the role of caregiving. Over time, I've seen God stir some of those up and even though ...

Sorry to be MIA of late - I had my plate full last week as my mom was staying with me for a few days. She has some sort of dementia and requires lots of TLC right now so it was my pleasure to have her stay with me. However, it meant that my plate, which was already full, was piled just a little fuller. So I did what I could to keep my head above water.....so I went missing. Over the last few weeks, my mind and heart have been busy processing stuff. Life, really. And as usual, there are tons of things going through my head and heart all at the same time. When I wake up in the morning it seems like my head is already going a hundred miles an hour, and maybe more! I have no idea what the series of thoughts were that brought me to the passage in Daniel, but I'm sure it was a logical sequence. I opened my Bible to Daniel 3, verse 17. This is where Daniel's three friends were facing the fiery furnace. It's their statement - their dedication to the fire that piqued my intere...

I've never been one who enjoyed pain. I am a rather sporty individual and usually pain will make me fight harder, run further, and press on a little more diligently. After becoming a caregiver, I pretty much continued that trend as I found life to be engulfed in pain. Quite literally, everything hurts . Losses loom in my view every day. I "lost" my son, at least who he was, I lost my life as it became consumed by caregiving, lost my dreams since they were no longer possible, and the list could go on and on as you well know. I struggled to find ways to work, and go on and have succeeded. But not without daily soul pain. I want to tell myself to get over it.  But it is so looming there's nowhere to go to get away. It's constantly pressing in like it is trying to suffocate me. Honestly, some days it wins. Other days I figure out how to get out from under the pressure just enough to function. It's the only way to survive the intensity and enormity of this se...

One of the difficulties of being a full-time caregiver is that life continues around you. It can seem like everyone else's life gets to continue while yours stopped. One example for me, is with my daughter. I figure for her, not only did she lose her brother in this accident, she also lost her mother to caregiving. So at least once a year, my daughter and I head out of town to have some time together. This was that weekend, and of course, we had a wonderful time together! But then, I still have to come home to the harsh reality of the day-to-day. As I'm trying to roll out of bed this morning to get the day going, I open my Bible to Psalm 34, no reason really, that's just where it opened to. But I'm glad it did because I gleaned enough to get me through today as I try to get back into the swing of things and catch up with caregiving tasks and work. There are several things that stuck out in the psalm, so we may break it down over the week. The first part of the p...

There are many aspects about caregiving that are just flat out difficult. It's not for the fainthearted or weak, that's for sure! :-) Each day can have its own challenges that only caregivers understand. But one thing that I feel is a prevalent battle is the social isolation. My social life  is virtually non-existent. And for those who can get out some - it's an understatement to say it's way different from BC (before caregiving). I can only share how I feel, and maybe it's just me, but I can feel like an insignificant bump on the face of the earth. Not only do I not have a social life, but I feel like I am more of a burden on society than a contributor. There are times I have to stay completely off social media because it can trigger a battle with depression. BC I was a goer. I loved to travel, I loved to go. I was always hiking, exploring, driving new roads and finding new adventures wherever I was. For me, when I see people posting pictures of their latest...

Did you ever shop at an outlet mall and find great deals on clothing marked slightly irregular ? Usually they function just as well as other items, but some little something was missing, or didn't look exactly like most. To say the caregiver's life is slightly irregular  is perhaps a great understatement, but our lives, our norm - is very different from the rest of the world. Everything we do centers around what's best for someone else and we shape our days around their needs. Virtually everything we do is different from our daily chores, eating schedules, bathing routines to outings (if we can do them). Many caregivers can do some normal  things - but there's so much more planning that goes into some of life's simplest chores. Just going to the grocery store can require lots more work for a caregiver. You may have to deal with equipment, take certain supplies, load and unload a chair into a handicap van, or you may be unable to go at all. Life's simplest ch...

There's an old country song I thought of this morning. It goes something like some days are diamonds, some days are stones some days the bad times won't leave me alone.  Ever have one of those days? Ever have a series of those days? It's funny (odd - not haha) that one day I can be so depressed and down and the next wake up ready to take on the world once again. It may be the fact that as caregivers there's not really any other choice so we suck it up and keep moving forward. I've often wondered if I was spiritually schizophrenic since I can have it all together one second and totally lose it the next. (I'm sure I'm the only one who has EVER felt this way!) One second I'm totally resting and trusting in Him - and the next I'm so angry with God and have tons of questions I'm hurling at Him. God is so patient with me.  He really is big enough to carry us - to carry me along with all my baggage. My stuff  will never be bigger than Him - even i...

Let me just get this out there - I'm no Job!  I've been thinking about him a lot and how his response to trouble when it comes is very much NOT like mine. I whine a lot more than he does and honestly, praise doesn't come that easy. Oh, I finally get there - but I always seem to take the long way around. When Job's trouble started he went straight to his knees; and when it got even more complicated He worshiped. I did not.  He seemed so at peace  with his life whether he could physically see God's blessings or was standing there stripped bare. Job said we need to take both good and bad from the hand of the Lord. And he said that when things were bad. For a long time now I've noticed that people tend to say "God is good" only when things go their way. You know, they get a raise, their loved one escapes a horrific wreck, a kid graduates from college, or someone gets healed. Why is it we don't hear that when someone gets fired, a loved one is inj...

Nothing new around here. I woke up this morning with my mind going 900 miles an hour. It seems there's been so much going on. But of course, that's nothing new for the caregiver, right? Today I have a new aide - just for Fridays. His other one comes the other three days of the week on schedule all the time - but for some reason can't seem to show up on Fridays consistently. It's one of  the frustrations we have to endure from time to time. Why can't people just do their jobs? It would be so beneficial. But with a new aide that as to be "certified" to do my son's range of motion which means another nurse visit; it complicates my morning schedule. Again. But this is the new normal. So this morning I got up and reached for my Bible and thumbed through a few pages looking for a morsel that would carry me through the day. I ended up back at a familiar psalm. It's one I've clung to for years and don't plan on moving away from anytime soon...

This week I've been trying to make arrangements for my upcoming trip. This is the fourth year for my daughter and I to take a weekend away. Sometimes it's so difficult to get out for a day or two. Of course, this planning is on top of all the normal daily stuff I have to do. I had the weekend all lined out and at the last minute, the sitter for Friday cancelled on me. I was just shy of frantic, a little bit desperate and had to fight off depression's tightening grip. Times like those start my mind going in a whirlwind. I felt like I was inconveniencing everyone. I'm not a person who likes to ask for help often, and most of the time I'd just as soon do it myself. But I can't sit and get out both! lol It's the curse of independence - sometimes good and sometimes bad. First of all, I hate to ask for help, but you know there are always people who say Call me if you need anything.  But they really don't mean it. Well, they seem to mean it until you ca...