Daily Devotions for Caregivers

I decided to take another look at the Sermon on the Mount. It's the focus of my live devotions I do for a group on FaceBook. This morning, I was looking at the Beatitudes and it sparked some thoughts. First of all, I am so thankful not one word of it has changed, not one promise has diminished just because I became a caregiver. I know I harp on that a lot - but it is super important to know that absolutely nothing about God or His kingdom changed or was moved because my situation on earth changed. Secondly, His word never loses strength. The power of His blood never  fades. He is still merciful, peaceful, and beautiful. As I'm looking through the beatitudes, I noticed something. Jesus said, blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.  He didn't promise there wouldn't be any mourning. He just told the disciples that when there is mourning - there is comfort. Becoming a Christian doesn't exempt us from any of life. We still have ups and downs, ...

While it is a joy and an honor to take care of our loved ones, there is a very painful side to caregiving. Our hearts hurt on many levels. Personally, I grieve the loss of my son and all he could have become. I also grieve the loss of my mom - who she was before dementia. And now, as life has brought more change, I grieve for my daddy who is struggling with this part of life too. He has spent over 50 years with mama - she has been his life. Much like my son, she is still here  but gone. Last night I called my mom's sister to explain the new arrangements with mom. She didn't take it too well. She is grieving her loss of mobility as she is barely getting around with a walker at 87 and is needing more constant care. Can I say, my heart hurts? People are mostly gracious and compassionate to caregivers. But there are times when you are looked down on as if you don't have faith - or you wouldn't be in this situation. I have felt this from church-like folks many times. T...

No one needs to tell you caregiving is hard. For many of us, it's one of the most difficult things we've ever faced, at least it makes the top 5 list! It's not easy physically. It is not easy emotionally. It can be draining and tiring. However, it can also be the most rewarding experience in your life. It can bring joy. For many, it drives us into a deeper, more intimate place in God. Maybe it sort of balances out in the end. Protecting that intimate place with God is probably the most important key to keeping our sanity intact. Yet, there are moments when that seems so difficult. Those down moments. I'm sure I'm alone on this one.. right? In many ways, I think it's our perspective that can protect us. But it can also be what sabotages us. This holds true for anyone in any situation. What we choose to hold in our gaze will consume us. We have to deal with caregiving face on, of course. But if we focus on it, it can drag us into depression, guilt, frustrati...

I would say that today is a rough day, but with caregiving, that pretty much describes every day so it's nothing unusual. Today my sweet mama moves into a nursing facility where she can be watched and cared for closely. My heart grieves over my mom who is getting on in the later stages of dementia. And my heart hurts for my daddy who is grieving too. They spent their last night together last night - and this morning is the move. It's heart-wrenching. He's been her caregiver for several years already and told me he can't take care of her anymore. I assured him that this is  taking care of her. As a full-time caregiver our emotions can run on raw, and dealing with the day-to-day stuff is difficult enough. It's like that last straw that breaks the camel's back, or the last apple that upsets the applecart. Emotions can run stretched and tight. Yesterday, I let God know exactly how I felt about it all. I was frustrated, angry, disappointed and hurting. And I dump...

I spent yesterday afternoon with my parents and siblings. We hadn't all been together in around two years. My siblings and I had a few words with each other - but it was because we love each other and needed to iron some things out. It was actually kind of fun to have a spirited discussion. I think we upset Daddy a bit because he doesn't like to see us argue - but we had to work it out. And we did. So it was good. Life has handed all of us some pretty big blows. Now on top of all the different things we are each dealing with, Mom is going to a nursing home. She is a handful. The bruises are from the last fall she took when she passed out - but it's not as bad as it looks - she's on blood thinners. Anyway, it's time to get her more help. Tuesday she'll be moving into a very nice facility. It's an emotional time for all of us, but we do know it's best for her and for Daddy. As I embraced my sobbing Daddy yesterday, I thought where's the joy in th...

You know I've been studying and working/walking through Psalm 119 taking a section a day. Today I landed in verse 114. It says this: You are my hiding place and my shield; I wait for Your word.  I tried to finish my daily reading, but thoughts were distracting me.There are so many nuggets to take away from this one verse. My first thoughts were of hiding in Him, of staying nestled up close to Him during the storms of life and the struggles that can come along with caregiving. I thought about sometimes how He just holds my heart in His until mine syncs to the rhythm of His. I thought about those midnight hours when Chris has been sick or uncomfortable and I didn't know what to do - and He was the calm in the storm. I knew Him as my hiding place long before caregiving, but caregiving brought it home to me. There is a place in Him I can crawl up and let it all go. There's no condemnation, no rebuke, no misunderstanding - just His gentle touch. Then I thought about how He...

This weekend, the weather was beautiful so Chris and I signed up for a race. I was all set to push him but the two young men in the photo asked to push him for me. They were so eager, I nervously gave them my baby. I laugh, but in all honesty, it was difficult to allow him to be in someone else's hands for that little bit of time. It did, however, free me up to run the race. I think what moved me about it all was that they were so eager to push my son. They wanted  to and as you can see by their expressions when we passed on the course, they enjoyed  it. They were not enduring it or doing it because they felt they had to. I have to say - it was a true blessing and it touched my heart in a way I've not even been able to describe with words yet. It's far too often that caregivers and their loved ones are avoided. We can start to think we have the plague or something contagious. People tend to ignore us and avoid us. Or maybe it seems that way. Many times, it's bec...

Lately, I've been studying about David. Specifically, I've been reading the story about how he took out Goliath. Then I continued that study with how his men ended up taking out the four brothers of Goliath. I have a suspicion that David would have really liked to have done that himself but it didn't work out that way. The story of how Goliath's brothers were all taken down is in 2 Samuel 21. In verse 14, Saul and Jonathan were buried. Then in verse 15, it starts walking the reader through a series of battles. These four giants were not taken down in just one battle, like caregiving, it just went from one battle to the next, back-to-back. But David didn't get to "play." In verse 15, it says they were all down fighting with the Philistines but David became weary . His men told him he could no longer go to battle with them because it was too risky. As I read it, I thought David was a mighty warrior.   He was accustomed to the battle. He never lost!   Y...

I've been going through Psalm 119 while leading an online group devotion each morning. Today's reading included verse 83 which says I am shriveled like a wineskin in the smoke, exhausted with waiting, but I cling to Your principles and obey them. (NLT 1996) Now to be perfectly honest, I have no idea what a wineskin does in the smoke. But after asking google, I have determined that they shrivel up, dry out and become useless. That was pretty much my guess anyway. Do you ever feel dried up and useless? I do sometimes. It seems there's not a lot of social interaction and during those long, drawn-out alone times, it can start to feel like we are separated from the normalcy of life. Because of the trauma which launched me into caregiving, oftentimes I feel like I have lived two lives, now and BC (before caregiving). They look very different. If I don't keep my mind on the word and the truth that God doesn't change even when life does, I can become depressed, upset, w...

No one likes suffering. At all. Actually, we spend a lot of our lives trying to avoid it altogether. We avoid relationships that might be hurtful, as well as circumstances that might cause us internal pain. Then caregiving happens and it can feel like everything is painful all the time. While it is the most rewarding "job" on the planet, the suffering endures, pain and grief are real and constant for many of us. Sometimes we might ask what good could possibly come from all this. It's a fair question. This morning as I was preparing my video devotional for a FB group, I came across verse 71 in Psalm 119. I'm taking it a chunk at a time each morning - and boy has it been a great study! Well, at least I've enjoyed it. lol. Verse 71 says this It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I may learn Your statutes. (NASB) The New Living Translation (1996) says it this way The suffering you sent was good for me, for it taught me to pay attention to your principles....

I found this nugget this morning, I just wanted to share with you all. Sometimes it's so easy to get wrapped up in being a caregiver we forget about simple stuff out of the word. For me, I stay in survival mode  so much, there's not always room for much else. It takes everything we have, every ounce of strength to make it through the day sometimes, who can think of anything else, right? Few can understand how full  our proverbial plate really is. From daylight to dark, there is something, someone, some situation making a demand on us - on our energy. Lately, with both of us taking our rounds being sick, sleep has been lacking. That makes for long days and nights. But there is something (someone) in the midst of the storm holding it all together - and it's not me. lol. Actually, I lose it easily. I may look like I have it all together, but on the inside, I'm a big mess. My emotions are all over the place, I have fears, anxiety, self-doubt and the whole nine yards. ...

I'm still studying and sharing out of Psalm 119 in a Facebook group I work with. I had forgotten how much I loved this psalm.This morning, one verse, in particular,  stood out. Verse 55 says I reflect at night on who you are, O Lord, and I obey your law because of this. (NLT) What I got out of that was reflecting, or thinking about who He is, keeps me on the straight and narrow. Because of who He is I have to keep putting one foot in front of the other. When I think about His power, His greatness, His majesty, His Lordship, His Kingship... and I could go on - I can't help but worship Him and obey Him. (These two are inseparable btw.) Where my thoughts went with this verse was to the fact (truth) that nothing here on earth changes Him one iota. Whether we face good days or bad - He's still King on the throne. His throne was not moved by my tragedy. His power was not weakened by my battle. His position on the throne did not shift in any manner because of anything I may ...

If you've read this devotion much you know I love the Psalms. Lately, I've been in Psalm 119. Sometimes, it's nice to read it slow and just digest it. This psalm is of course long, but it's broken up into little bite-size pieces. I've been taking it a chunk at a time. It's easy to tell David had a love for the word of God. As the psalm unfolds, David continues to talk about the word and how he meditates on it, thinks about it, searches for it, and just generally loves it. Today I focused on verses 41 to 48. But my mind settled on the first two verses this morning. May Your lovingkindnesses also come to me, O Lord, Your salvation according to Your word; So I will have an answer for him who reproaches me, For I trust in Your word. (vs 41-42) These two stood out because they stirred up some memories of my past. I recalled a time I was reproached for being ill. A woman literally sat by my bed telling me all the things I was doing wrong. She told me ...

As we gradually get better, the fog clears a bit. lol - Who am I kidding? The caregiver's fog is a forever thing, I think. Some days are better than others, yet even what seems to be a simple thing can be complex for caregivers. I will say the last couple of weeks have been very challenging, first with my own illness and then with Chris' Sigh. I think (hope) we are through the worst of it now and can start the recovery process. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't been discouraged. I've been way down... trying to dig out of the deep, dark fog... down. I'm not sure discouraged can even describe the way I felt, especially last week. But it'll have to do for now. One of the scriptures that came to mind as I was trying to crawl out of the foggy pit, is 1 Samuel 30:6. It says David encouraged himself in the Lord.  David was in a very difficult spot. He and his warriors had just returned from battle to find Ziklag plundered and burned to the ground. Their stuff, ...

Forgive me for my absence. Chris and I have both been sick with whatever viruses are running rampant right now. It's no fun being sick yourself, or watching your loved one feel ill. But I know you understand how difficult it is to care for someone else when you are not feeling up to par. As caregivers, we don't even get time to be sick.  What can you do, right? Our loved one still needs to be bathed, changed, fed, gotten up, etc. Who has time to lay in bed and recover? lol Add to that this frustration. I get up. I'm tired. I'm sick. I can barely get myself out of bed. I think, the aid will be here at 9. He can help me get Chris up.  Guess who doesn't show up? And guess who hasn't shown up for nearly 2 weeks now? Yup. A glimpse at the life of a caregiver. We have to laugh to keep from crying. Well, no matter what, I am upright once again and the doctor is coming to check Chris out today. Maybe we are on the mend, finally. As I get back around and try to get...

What's on my mind this morning is not something new, I've talked about it a lot. You know as caregivers, we learn so much about caregiving, about life, about ourselves on this journey. I'm still learning about the depth of the love of God. I've said it before, but it bears saying again that I understand just a small piece of God's unfailing love for us. I remember standing by my son's bed one day and realizing it was a deep, intense love that held me there. I understood that it was that same love that held Christ on the cross for me, for you. Some may question it - and I don't think it will ever be understood. I'm talking about how we can love someone who cannot reciprocate openly. Maybe they cannot express it, but you know they love you. In some cases, those who have dementia or other issues like my mom become different. Often they are combative or very NOT loving. But we love anyway. I think about the way God loves us even when we can't rec...

Some nights when I get Chris to bed, I crawl up next to him to snuggle and tell him "good night." Sometimes he pushes on me like I'm in his space and he wants me to go away. lol Other times, like last night, he looks me directly in the eyes as if to communicate he loves me. At least that's what my imagination says, and I'm not going to argue. After I posted this picture in his group page on Facebook last night, I sat and looked at it for awhile. I've learned so much about love, self-denial, God's love and myself on this caregiving journey. But that's not where my mind went this time. This time, I thought about how Chris is dependent on me. For everything. His food. His safety. His comfort. His therapy. Literally everything. He can't do anything without my help, except complain about my help. That's okay though, it means I'm doing my job. As I thought about my son's utter dependence on me, I wondered what it might be like if I wa...

Sometimes in caregiving it's easy to lose sight of the simplest things.Maybe it's all the tasks we have to do just to get through the day that sidetracks us. Perhaps it's just the day and time we live in. There are many nights when I look up and it seems I've been busy all day, but I still have so many things to accomplish before I can call it a day.  It's true I think even for non-caregivers. As I am writing this devotion this morning I've got a full itemized list of the things I need to get done today going through my head. They are spilling out onto paper as I make my "to-do" list for today. As I write things down, I put an asterisk beside the ones that simply cannot  wait until tomorrow. I'm already wondering how I'm going to get it all done. And of course, on top of that, the aid comes from 9 to noon so I can run errands (that isn't even on the list). But today the pulmonologist is coming. I guess that's a good thing, but it su...