Daily Devotions for Caregivers

I did a skit one time where I played the song "You're all I Need." I was lip syncing the words as I sang about God being all I wanted, but I kept filling my hands will all sorts of stuff. I was picking up a laptop, a video controller, books, cell phone, etc. while trying to reach out to Him as I sang. The point was that I was filling my hands with so many things and they were so full I could never quite reach out to Him - even though that's what my heart wanted. As caregivers, our hands are full of so many things - and they are not just extras we choose (who has time for that, right?), it's stuff that has to be done. Every day is filled with tasks and chores that can't be ignored or put off until tomorrow and we can feel like our hands, minds, hearts and bodies are full all the time. And while I'm all about carving out some quiet time for me and God - there are some days that just doesn't happen. Of course, my initial response is to condemn mysel...

I've been doing some studying and gathering notes for a project I'm working on. Last week, I shared a bit about it in a post. I'm looking at David and how he dealt with the enemies he faced. In my studies, I've gotten stuck in 1 Samuel 17 with the story of how David faced Goliath. David just couldn't stand to see the enemy come out and ridicule, pester and abuse the people of God. The NLT says David asked, "Who is this pagan Philistine anyway, that he is allowed to defy  the armies of the living God?" I wonder if David was just in shock that no one stood up to Goliath before he got there. David's brother asked a question of David when he heard that his little brother was asking what one would get for slaying the giant. His question was what are you doing around here anyway?  He tried to put David in his place  by degrading him and reminding him that he was just a shepherd.  But the truth is that David's shepherd heart was coming out to protec...

This morning during my devotions, I came across this scripture:  Those who know Your name trust in You, for You, O Lord, have never abandoned anyone who searches for You. (Psalm 8:10 NLT) Immediately, I thought of Jeremiah 29:13 that tells us if we seek Him we will  find Him. I always told my youth groups that God doesn't play hide-n-seek well. He waits for us to seek Him and then He reveals Himself to us. As a caregiver, I have felt sometimes like God was hiding from me; and at other times like He had completely abandoned me. My heart tells me it's not so - but it's how I have felt at times nonetheless. It comes down to what I am going to choose to believe. Will I follow my hollow emotions that tell me He has abandoned me forever? If  I do, I may be found in company with the psalmist who said, Has the Lord rejected me forever? Will He never again show me favor? Is His unfailing love gone forever? Have His promises permanently failed? Has God forgotten to be kind?...

So this morning I'm reading through Romans 4 about Abraham and his faith. In the 20th verse, it says his faith never wavered. Let me explain first thing - I'm no Abraham.  I am honest and open about the fact my faith has  wavered; and the first to admit I've totally lost it a few times along the way. It makes it difficult to face challenges in life when we are indirectly (and sometimes directly) taught that circumstances occur because we don't  have faith. Faith-ers have this distorted view that says if you believe hard enough and are good enough at it nothing bad will ever happen to you or your family. That just simply doesn't bear out in scriptures, as we've discussed here before. If faith prevents difficult situations there's be no faith building stories like David and Goliath, Moses and the Red Sea, Joseph in prison, Paul and Silas in Prison or Jesus on the cross. That's just to name a few. It was in  the struggle we see their faith, not the fa...

Over the weekend I took a couple of hours to go through my big box of writing stuff. I've collected quite a few things over the years and have tons of unfinished projects. My goal was to get it all organized and get started on something... anything ! I can now proudly say I have all my projects gathered together and somewhat organized, and I have 2-3 I am ready to dive into and get done. But among all my scattered notes, ideas and thoughts I found a study I had done that I didn't even remember doing. It seems I've gone through the Psalms and looked at how the psalmists dealt with the voice of the enemy.  I've started collecting my thoughts around this idea and the project is underway. I've thought quite a bit about this the last couple of days and just last night it hit me - the enemy doesn't have a voice if we don't give him one. If we look at Psalm 3, David speaks of what the enemy is saying about him. Specifically - God will never rescue him!" ...

In Acts 16, Paul has a dream in which a man is pleading for him to come to Macedonia. In verse 10, Paul says he could only assume "God was calling us to preach the Good News there." (NLT) And they left immediately for the journey. Once they got to Macedonia, there was good; and there was bad. They met Lydia - a true blessing. And then they met a deomon-possessed fortune teller who taunted them. When she came to know the Lord, her masters knew the loss of revenue they would suffer and caused a huge uprising against Paul and Silas and they were wrongly accused and tossed in a jail cell. Of course, God worked even that out for good as when they praised Him from that dark, prison cell, He loved it so much He joined in with them! The earth began to respond when earth's praise met heaven's joy and everything started shaking and they were set free and many people were saved. In light of the good that came out of that - it's interesting what Paul said about their ...

One foot in front of the other. How many times have I used that phrase to explain to people how I "do it"? Something just kicks in and you do what you have to do; and you just keep on doing it. I guess it is moving forward - or going "onward," but it can feel like we are going around in circles. Continuously. Never ending. It can feel like everyday is the same as the day before with the exact same chores to do. You know the drill. There's bathing, transferring, dressing, feeding, transferring again, laundry, and ton of little chores to do that make the bigger ones easier. Eventually, even the little surprises  become part of the routine. You know those things all too well too. There's case managers who forget to order supplies, or can't get the order right....ever, aides that don't show up the day you finally  decided to go do something, or nurses trying to cram all her visits in during the last week of the month. Those are just a few of the thin...

It's been a series of events lately that has left me silent. As caregivers, I know you understand those times when everything piles up on you. As if caregiving itself was not enough. I take it all personally too - like we really don't matter. I know it's a misread message, on one hand, but things like not being able to get my son's Jevity, aides quitting and not being replaced and then my van breaking leaving us stranded, eventually got to me. It seems like every situation screams  you are not important! Caregivers live lives that are different from every one else, we don't need anything to make us stand out from the crowd any more than what's normal  for us. But as it all piled up over the last week or so I became recluse. And of course, the problem with that is that those thoughts running around in my head become more numerous, crazier and out of control. I went from trying to figure out how to get out and buy groceries on foot along with pushing my so...

Although this picture doesn't do it justice, sunsets in Oklahoma are gorgeous. I rarely get to catch one and when I do it can be breathtakingly beautiful. As I was reading this morning, I came across a scripture that seems very simple, but has packed a lot of punch with me over the years. It's Psalm 104:19. The NLT reads: You made the moon to mark the seasons and the sun that knows when to set.  It might not seem like much insight, but it has a lot more than we might think. Over the last few weeks things have been a whirlwind with me. Several things are happening all at once in the many arenas of life: family, work, relationships, physical challenges, finances, etc. And of course, this is all on top of caregiving which is its own world inside a world. Suffice it to say my life, head and emotions have been spinning and I really didn't even know where to start reading this morning. I opened to Psalm 104 looking for a scripture I'd read in a blog last night and fou...

Did you find it? I did. What were we looking for? Grace to help in time of need. Can you tell I'm still in Hebrews 4? This chapter has really grabbed my attention this week and I've pretty much camped there. The last verse of this power packed chapter in Hebrews tells us to Come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There  we will  receive mercy, and we will  find grace to help us when we need it.  (NLT) When we need it? That is probably all the time for the caregiver. This verse starts out with an understood subject, "you." It's understood to be saying "You Come..." and when we come look at what we get! While I am a caregiver, and on any given day I may need to go to the throne for grace  at any given time, this is an open invitation to every believer to take action, get before His throne and obtain His mercy and grace. I don't know about you, but personally I need extra measures of both to make it through some days. And honestly, today I...

Sometimes I think it would be nice if caregivers could be exempt from dealing with the rest of life.  But most likely, if we were then I'd be pouting because we were missing out on everything else. Do you find you are more easily overcome with life in general? It's not like we don't have enough on our plates to begin with. Caregiving alone is a full plate and can be complicated by what seem to be little things like supplies not coming in, aides not showing up or blenders breaking. Even in the midst of the craziness of caregiving, life still goes on around us. Loved ones pass away, close neighbors fall ill, friends and family seem far away, bills need to be paid and on and on it goes. If we are not careful it's easy to get caught up and carried away in life's whirlwind. So now that I told you what's going on in my life let me tell you what I reminded myself this morning. Hebrews 4:1 says this: God's promise of entering His place of rest still stands. ...

There's no doubt the wilderness changes you, and caregiving can be it's own special kind of wilderness experience. Social interactions change, getting out changes, friendship statuses change, work can be different; just about every aspect of life can be different after we become a caregiver. For some, the changes may be less dramatic, but for others they are enormous. In my particular situation virtually everything changed. How we deal with these changes is a good indicator of our character. Actually, how we deal with the wilderness reveals unique aspects of our character. The wilderness changes you . I was reading in Hebrews over the weekend and spent quite a bit of time in chapter 4, but this morning I backed up a bit because I wanted to see why  the writer started talking about entering into God's rest. Just before the author's discourse on God's rest he was talking about the children of Israel and how they failed to enter God's rest.  Their choices in ...

This morning during my devotions this poem just came to me. As caregivers, it can feel like we live in a storm; one that never goes away. My heart is set - I will trust Him no matter what a day brings. Here's the poem I got this morning - I hope it speaks to someone today. Through the Storm Lord I want to know You In the midst of the storm To see You walk on water And tell my heart "peace, be still" Let me.... Feel You, hear You, touch You As life rocks along I trust You have me  In the center of Your will Carry me above The deceit of wind and waves May I hear You above the roar To be with You is all I crave May I not be distracted By the crashing tide For I'm tucked in tight Held close by Your side Though the storm keeps raging May my soul keep seeking And may I listen carefully To hear You speaking Peace be still... I'll be still... and Know You are God (c) May 21, 2016 J. Olinger

As I was going about my early morning routine of making coffee, bolusing and changing my son etc. I just felt heavy. Over the last few weeks I've been toying with the idea of getting rid of stuff... my house is so full. I do think this is a factor. I simply have too much to keep up with. As I walked through the apartment with one eye open (this is BC - before coffee), I thought of how I need to just go through and get rid of stuff. Lots of stuff. As I walked through my living room, my medal rack caught my eye and I though about how I carry as little as possible with me when I run. I strip down to shorts and a light t-shirt, put my phone in an arm band to keep my hands free, and wear a small runner's belt to hold my keys. I do not wear long pants even when it's cold. And if it is chilly out, I still wear as little as possible because I don't want anything  to weight me down. With a big sigh, I wondered if I got rid of stuff in my life that was weighing me down, c...

As usual, my mind kicked into high gear as soon as my alarm went off this  morning. I've got so much to do! On one hand, that's a good thing because I don't tend to push the snooze as many times when my mind starts running through today's to-do list before I get one eye open. On the other hand it's very tiring. I will freely admit I am an over-thinker. I either have hundreds of questions to ask before a statement is finished, or I've worked through 101 scenarios in my mind of what could occur, knowing most likely none of them will! I do the same thing with caregiving and daily life. As I'm going through my list of gotta do's today, and some get-to-do's too, I realize there really is a lot more than just caregiving on my plate. As I mentioned earlier this week, the aide quit so I've not had any help in the daily chore arena for about 2 weeks - and there's no aide in site. I never thought of myself as a juggler, just not that coordinate...

One of the things we face as caregivers is this deep sense of being alone. For me, sometimes it's not as bad; but I can even feel vastly alone even in a crowd. Our lives are just different and it causes gaps that can't always be made up just by being with others. The feeling can often come and go, but there are times where it feels like it just swallows me whole. Last night was one of those times. I really am not sure I have the words to adequately express what it feels like because it's a lot more than just feeling lonely. I feel totally alone in this world, on my own, and unlike everyone else. Even among caregivers our situations are so unique we can still feel alone. This was still on my mind when I woke up this morning and opened my Bible for morning devotions. I wasn't looking for anything in particular and my Bible opened at John 14 so I started reading this passage that has been a long time favorite. Firstly, I love Thomas, even though the church has given ...

You know how everyone talks about how they dread Mondays? I guess it's because they go "back" to work and have to change up from a more relaxed, weekend schedule. I'm finding though that for the caregiver, Mondays are not much different than other days. We don't get weekends off.  When Saturday and Sunday roll around, we still have the exact same things to do that have to be done other days of the week. Bathing, transferring, feeding, laundry - none of those stop on Saturday to wait until we are "ready" to go back to work  come Monday. But yesterday did become a little more complicated for me. The aide who hadn't been here in 2 weeks quit. Now that will  mess up your Monday especially if you had errands planned. This last minute change-up and lots of work to do for my jobs along with just all the general chores piled high on my plate early in the morning and tried to pull me in under a deluge of anxiety and crazy thoughts. I literally had so many...

I have to admit this morning that my emotions are all over the place. I'll spare you the details and just say there's a lot going on. We've discussed before that we are not exempt from the rest of life just because we are caregivers. So suffice it to say - I'm on overload....as usual. Yesterday as I started realizing how much was going on around me, my head started spinning with thoughts. I've admitted before I'm an over-thinker. Someone makes one statement and I've worked through 900 scenarios in my head that could possibly happen. Sometimes it's annoying. :-) So with lots and lots of different things making my head swirl, I heard my heart cry out to Him last night. In my mind I'm standing before Him with hands outstretched just waiting for some sort of answer. There's not really one answer that will make everything better and I think I just needed to be reminded that He hears my heart. I just needed to know it one more time. As caregive...

There are so many areas caregivers can struggle with. We can experience bouts with fear, discouragement, depression, frustration, weariness, loss and deal with what I've learned is a living grief. We may feel helpless, hopeless or alone. And for me I went through a period of time when my faith was totally redefined. On any given day we may have to work through any combination of emotions. And all of this is on top of what we have to do physically. I think it's safe to say we are busy - inside and out.  For me, my emotions can be churning around inside like a roller coaster while on the outside I'm working my full time job, doing laundry, prepping meals, or helping my son with some type of therapy. I'm out of breath just thinking about it! How do we slow down? How do caregivers find some sort of peace - inside or out? Is there even time for that? It's easy for someone on the outside to tell us we need to take a break. But rarely do they also offer to do anythin...

Today is one of those days where I woke up and my thoughts were running away with me. Seriously, my thoughts are all over the place. When I first got up, something someone said yesterday started running around in my head and it went mentally viral from there. I work for an SEO company - we work on websites. Its founder is a believer and a group of us meet online to pray for the company and all the employees. During that meeting yesterday, someone told me that God would restore   these years to me.   I know the guy meant well, but even as my heart can agree my head can't grasp that thought. My biggest question is How? I have become very familiar with the story of Job and everyone gets all excited at the end of the story about how God restored his fortunes (I had none of those before my story began! lol), and Job had 10 more kids! Yippee!! I'm not overlooking or lessening the work God did in Job's heart and I understand the story had a good ending. But Job didn't ...

Over the weekend, I spent most of my study time reading in Daniel. For this week, he's my favorite Bible character, and I continue to learn from reading about his faith in the midst of his life's trial. Like caregivers, his trial didn't miraculously go away one day; it was a lifelong journey. Actually, the 12 chapters this book contains cover a lifetime of over 70 years. Sometimes we tend to read through it in a matter of a few minutes without realizing the time element. 70 years he was in captivity. He lost his family, his country and his life to become the servant of a king. While there is the good side of things - we can't minimize the losses he went through. He was young when he was carried away to Babylon but we see him develop into a man of God in the midst of extreme circumstances. I literally lived in the ICU waiting room for 3 weeks before my son was moved to the floor of the hospital and during that time I prayed that whatever the outcome would be - I wo...

It seemed as though Philippians 2 was written just for me this morning even though Paul penned it years ago to Christians in very different circumstances. I found a few nuggets to think about today, and a couple of them stung just a bit. I ended up thinking about verse 1 a lot more than the others because these can be very real questions for the caregiver. The NLT reads Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? any fellowship together in the Spirit?  And Paul goes on to talk to the believers at Philippi asking them why they are not getting along. While my focus isn't on getting along with other believers, I did think about these questions as a caregiver. Obviously, believing in Him hasn't kept difficult times from visiting. Knowing Him didn't "protect" us from being caregivers, and it didn't keep us from having to face some very difficult situations in life. Just think about Job - his faith didn't protect him fro...

This morning my devotions led me to the gospel of John and I found myself reading through familiar chapters. I've always enjoyed 14-17, they are mostly Jesus' words and each verse seems to be so rich. But today I landed in chapter 15, verse 26. The New Living Translation interpreted it this way:  But I will send you the Counselor - the Spirit of Truth. He will come to you from the Father and will tell you all about me.  My Bible has a footnote on "Counselor" which elaborates a bit. It says: or Comforter, or Encourager, or Advocate, Greek Paraclete.  Today - this made my day! There are two things that stuck out to me, first of all that Holy Spirit is the Spirit of Truth which to me means when I embrace Him I embrace truth. I won't be looking for words that just make me feel good, half-truths or anything but  truth as I seek Him. The second thing is that there are so many interpretations of the Greek word, Paraclete.  Holy Spirit is sent to us, but He also...

Does it ever seem like you are just truckin' along and everything is going great when BAM! Seemingly, out of nowhere your thoughts start running away with you? Maybe it's just me, but that totally happened to me this morning. I got in my recliner, coffee in hand, Bible in lap, all ready to read a bit. I'm cruising through the Psalms and hit chapter 81.  In verse 11, God has noted that His people are not listening to Him. They stubbornly pursue their own desires.  And by 14 He says if they would  listen to Him - He would subdue their enemies. That's when my mind went nuts on me. My initial response was something like - so if I get myself together and really pursue God - really listen to Him He sill subdue MY enemy?  My greatest enemy in my thinking is a brain injury. Well, if God could "subdue" that - my life would be so much easier. And from there I got mad once again because I don't figure God's going to swoop in and take the TBI away. But as ...

As I was starting to organize my day and get my thoughts together this morning, my mind kept returning to a familiar scripture. Us church-kids memorized it as children and it serves as a constant reminder that He ain't done with us yet. Paul writes to the church at Philippi, And I am sure that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on that day when Christ Jesus comes back again.  (Philippians 1:6 NLT) I don't know about you, but I was pretty sure when that since I am a caregiver, He had given up on working on me. The day my son had the wreck I lost my life, my goals and my dreams - the ones I thought for sure He  had given me. Literally everything  in my life changed as I moved into the caregiver role. I thought for sure I was exempt from Kingdom responsibility and the basic requirements  laid out and understood by being a church kid. But I was wrong. As the life of caregiver leveled out and the emotions set...