Daily Devotions for Caregivers

 As caregivers, we often face difficult choices. It's not easy making decisions that directly affect our loved ones, but we do it all the time. We choose doctors, programs, aids, and tons of other things that affect their daily lives. But sometimes, our most difficult choices lie within. I was reading in 2 Timothy this morning, where Paul assured Timothy that God didn't give a spirit of fear - but He does give us power, love, and a sound mind. Perhaps the most difficult choice we face on some days is God's peace, love, and grace instead of fear. While fear is going to come, it doesn't have to set up a home in our hearts or minds. David said in Psalm 56:3 whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You. It wasn't a matter of facing fear or not - but of when he was going to face fear. The enemy of our souls loves to stir up fear in us. (Maybe it's just me?) He'll come at us with all sorts of crazy thoughts that may or may not even be probable. Thoughts lead us into ...

I love reading stories about people who have dug deep through the struggles life presented them and found themselves on the winning side. So many people we admire and consider to be successful got where they are today through some serious grit. When you mix grit and faith - it's a dynamic duo for sure! Most days, caregiving takes a certain measure of grit just to survive. It takes a lot of grit to choose to be a caregiver to begin with. The day-to-day grind then demands we stay gritty and get grittier, too! Our Bible heroes had grit, too. Think about the Hall of Faith in Hebrews 11, and you'll find some gritty, faithful people listed there. People who held on to the promises of God no matter what life threw at them. Real people with real families who faced unimaginable circumstances and still held onto faith in God. Maybe it's not to the same degree or in the same arena, but caregivers do the same thing day after day.  We choose not to face the day without God's help. O...

 I've had this popular praise song running through my head and heart for several days. It goes something like  Awake, my soul, and sing His praise, sing His praise aloud! I decided I needed to find the verse that it was based on since I was certain it was a scripture. Funniest thing, I found it in one of my go-to, favorite Psalms. It wasn't Psalm 31 - which I used to write a devotional called  31 Days in Psalm 31 ... It was another go-to passage, Psalm 57. I had memorized the first verse of the 57th Psalm in 1986, when I was so ill. It's remained one of my foundational scriptures even through caregiving. I use it as a prayer and as a reminder to trust God as my refuge day after day. So, I was a little surprised to find this verse nestled in familiar territory. Verse 8 says Away my glory! Awake harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn. I will praise You Lord, among the peoples; I will sing praises to You among the nations. (NASB)  One of the things that has become a norm...

 Happy Thanksgiving to my caregiving buddies!! One thing I am thankful for is you, my readers. I'm thankful for each one of you who has taken the time over the years to send me a message, either publicly or privately, to tell me part of your story, too! We are all in this together, for sure. Thanksgiving is more than just a one-day event where the world stops to eat and hang out with friends and family. It should be our lifestyle, really, especially as believers. It can be difficult on some days, given our caregiving situations, to be thankful. But I've found that if I can lift my gaze just a little about the suffocating circumstances, I can find something, anything  to be thankful for. It always improves my mood and my attitude, even if the situation remains the same.  Most mental health professionals in the world will even tell you that having a grateful attitude improves your mood and is healthy for your body. How much more effective is thankfulness when we address it ...

 This morning, I read another story about a family who couldn't keep their reservations at a restaurant for a special event simply because it was not accessible. They had done their due diligence, and the website, as well as the listings online, indicated the establishment was accessible. When they arrived for their special meal with the family, they found every single entrance had a series of steps that were NOT accessible by wheelchair. They had to cancel their reservation and find another place to eat. These types of circumstances can be so frustrating, and if we let them, they can socially paralyze us. I know when we go visit a new place, there's always a chance we'll have to make alternate plans. We were told specifically by a hotel that our room was fully accessible, only to learn when we got there - that only meant it was on the first floor. Lol. Getting my son's chair in the door was another issue, and that was literally all we could do. He could not access anyt...

 I've said for years that I wish I had purchased early stock in items like trash bags and sticky notes. Who knew they were going to be integrated into our daily lives in such a massive way? After becoming a caregiver, I added a few more items to that list, including wipes, q-tips, and incontinence supplies. These are just a few examples of small items that make our days run a tiny bit smoother.  I'm a bit old school (okay, maybe a LOT) and still use an old-fashioned planner to keep track of appointments, phone calls, client work, schedules, and, yes - bowel movements. Caregiving covers everything, right? Bookmarks are also one of those little items that make a huge difference. It keeps me on the right day in my planner, holds my place in the latest book I'm reading, and it's useful for marking a website I want to ensure I can find again.  These are all little things that offer enormous help in the day-to-day. I wonder, though, what does God use to remember the "sma...

 I discovered Psalm 77 early on in the caregiving journey. It was one of those times when I was feeling overwhelmed, and it seemed God had abandoned me. I couldn't feel Him or see Him working. Depression and despair were closing in on me. Becoming a caregiver was a choice - but all the things I had felt like God had promised me seemed to have fallen by the wayside. My heart was shattered into so many pieces by so many different things. Then, one morning, I opened my Complete Jewish Bible to Psalm 77 and discovered others (Asaph) were working through similar emotions. He couldn't see, feel, or find God either. It was oddly comforting to realize that not only did someone else experience those feelings and emotions - but God let  them be put in the Bible! :-) Verses 10-11 rang true in my soul as I shifted from what I couldn't see right then and there to what I had seen God do in the past. That single action of shifting my gaze from the surrounding, suffocating circumstances to...

 Hagar is not often listed among our Bible heroes. She's not even mentioned in the hall of faith among those who believed against all hope, like Abraham. She is referenced in Galatians 4, where Paul is explaining that as believers, we are "sons" of the Seed and NOT connected to the "bondwoman," Hagar. Hagar's son, Ishmael, was not the son of the promise. He is used to represent the flesh and bondage. That's kind of sad, I think. Remember, Abraham got a little impatient and listened to Sarah when she suggested that it would be "easier" to help God out since He was taking so long. Abraham did as Sarah suggested, and it just turned into a big mess from there, leaving Hagar in a rejected mess.  But the story of Hagar's rejection and out-of-the-norm story can be a source of encouragement. Hagar was minding her own business, living her life serving Sarah. By no mistake of her own, it got all messed up. Like me - she didn't always deal with he...

 Do you ever get a day off? How about an hour here or there? I used to be able to get out for a weekend or a quick overnight trip, but it still felt like I wasn't really "off." My phone had to be on and near me every second in case my substitute had a question or situation they needed my input on. In the last few months, I've had zero time off from caregiving. The thing is that you can't just clock out and go home. There's no chance to get away and just live life - it is our lives. It's just so daily. I remember Joni Eareckson Tada, who has lots of wonderful resources for caregivers, btw, said about her disability. It's  just so daily. How well we understand that brain injuries, spinal cord injuries, birth defects, dementia, Alzheimer's, and any other condition are just so daily. There's not a magic button to turn it all off, right? It's always on, so we have to be always on. But that's okay. Because all of who God is - is always on, to...

This morning, I found myself in Psalm 16. There were several scriptures that stood out to me. However, verse 8 tugged at my heart the longest. In the New Living Translation, verse 8 says, I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for He is right beside me. It seems this verse can be broken down into three powerful parts.  Affirmation: I know the Lord is always with me. Declaration: I will not be shaken. Confirmation: He is right beside me. I am currently working on a new book of affirmations for caregivers. This verse is likely to be the next one I use! To know that God is with us is empowering. He will not leave us. God never shakes His head at our circumstances and says it's just too much for Him. He doesn't say it's too complicated or complex that He just "can't deal." He just continues to stay with us, never abandoning us to our crazy thoughts or out-of-control emotions. He remains. That's a powerful positive for the caregiver. Over the ...

 It's too bad everyone doesn't understand caregivers and caregiving. Very few truly understand the toll it takes on one's body, mind, emotions, mental health, etc., until they have to take that journey themselves. And sadly, many people refuse to care for their loved ones. It's fair to say that many just can't do it. I've seen so many choose to walk away. It's a sad ordeal. But I get it - caregiving takes a lot out of you. But we have to just keep moving along and trusting God for each day. Of course, that's easier said than done. One of the biggest challenges many caregivers face is social isolation. For instance, not only did I have to change the way I worked to care for my son - I had to change the way I lived too. While it's easier to get him out and about now, there are still many challenges on a social level. On one hand, we can feel like we stick out like a sore thumb. At the same time - while feeling awkwardly placed in a social event, we ar...

 Peter is one of my favorite characters in the New Testament. Maybe that is partially due to my potential to spout off and sound off without a lot of thought, like he does. But perhaps it's because I relate to his tenacity and quick action. Of course, he was the one who grabbed a sword and cut off the dude's ear when they came to take Jesus captive. But he was also the only one out of 12 disciples who jumped out of the boat in a storm and walked toward Jesus on the water. The 11 other disciples just sat there watching it unfold but didn't make a move toward Jesus. No condemnation here. I don't know what I'd have done in that situation. But today, I read another story in John about Peter jumping out of yet another boat to go to Jesus. The disciples had gone fishing after the resurrection. That may seem odd, but I can only imagine the extreme emotions they had gone through over the last 3-4 days. First, Jesus was crucified, and all their dreams and expectations hung ...

  Have you ever been disappointed with God? Of course, the religious answer is a quick no. But the real answer that we often don't feel like we can express is yes. As I was making the ICU waiting room my home for over three weeks, I really thought God was going to come riding in on His white horse and rescue us, raise up my son, and heal him. Then, we could get back to life as usual. When that didn't happen, I became disappointed. I had tons of questions that we are indirectly told by religion we can't ask. Instead of being condemned by God for asking the hard questions, I felt accepted. I also learned that I wasn't alone. Scriptures I'd read a hundred times before began to stand out to me. For instance, I read Pslam 13 over and over. In this psalm alone, David cries out to God. How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily ? I learned that God did not...

 The old song, The Anchor Holds,  is playing over and over in my mind this morning. Today is the 15th anniversary of my son's accident. I would be lying if I told you it hasn't been the most difficult season of my life. I'm pretty sure anyone who's faced the challenges of caregiving would agree, at least on some level!  Life's trials help reveal what we are made of. Sometimes, they serve to show us where we are weakest or the most vulnerable. While it feels horrible, it's really a good thing. Over the last decade and a half, I've learned how to trust God more deeply. One of the first things I learned, even while we were in the hospital for 107 days, was how to redefine faith. That's been a journey in itself. I learned that faith doesn't prevent bad stuff from happening (ask Moses, Abraham, David, Paul, and Jesus), but it carries us through the trials and struggles. Scripture tells us to give thanks in all things, and I have become able to thank Him f...

  As I was reading Galatians this morning, I realized that Paul began his greeting by praying grace and peace to the readers. Then, he ended the letter to the new church by speaking grace and peace over them. He spent the letter explaining to them how they were free from the law and free to live in Christ and His abundance. We are no longer bondslaves or slaves to sin because the Liberator lives in us. God provides us with a life of freedom from the bondage of the law - which had the purpose of bringing us to Christ. Now, our lives are hidden in Him, and Jesus lives through us. Wow! Paul also mentioned in his letter to the Corinthians that God explained how His grace was enough - enough for whatever Paul was going through - and the dude went through a LOT! It seems God has us totally covered from the inside out. There is nothing that can come our way that His grace will not cover. The cool thing for me as a caregiver is that His grace knows just when to step in and carry me. But it...

 This morning, I was reading through Paul's list in 2 Corinthians 11. The dude went through a lot! As caregivers, we have quite the list, too, but I'm not sure it's measurable or comparable to Paul's. Robbers, beatings, shipwrecks, prison stays, swept away at sea, and even one stoning. Can one man handle all that? Evidently, Paul goes on to say he's not boasting. Instead, he's giving examples to demonstrate that God can carry us through anything. In the next chapter, one single thing was annoying Paul, and it's not clear what that one big thing was. However, he explains to the Christians in Corinth that God has told him that His grace is enough for the whatevers. We can count on that grace to be enough for today as well. God is able to see us through thick and thin circumstances. I know that's an older term, and I am not even sure what it means. Lol. But I do know that life can feel so thick I can't breathe sometimes. And my patience can run thin. No...

 Even though we are all caregivers, our stories are very different. Some of us care for aging loved ones. Other care for adult children. Others have provided life-long care for children born with disabilities. No matter what the details our stories contain, there are a few things that are the same. God's grace is woven into our stories. Through His grace, we stand today. In 2 Corinthians 12, we find the apostle Paul struggling with life. We understand that life, in general, is going to present difficulties, trials, and tribulations. But it also presents many opportunities to trust God just a little bit more. Since he called it a "thorn in the flesh ," we can assume it was something in the natural that he was dealing with. Most agree that it was a physical condition and that perhaps Paul was ill. Whatever it was, Paul asked God to take it away three different times.  I can't say that I've asked God to "take away" caregiving. I cherished being able to take...

 This morning, I had an old hymn come across my mind. This tune is now stuck in my head, and I am humming, "Every day with Jesus is sweeter than the day before. Every day with Jesus, I love Him more and more..." You may or may not know the song, but as I was singing it in my mind, I thought about the truth the words carry.  No one will argue that the caregiver's journey is loaded with challenges, struggles, and pain. Of course, it also presents wins, triumphs, and joys! One of the things that keeps me going is knowing that God has me and doesn't leave me when the road gets rocky or difficult. He's an everyday kind of God. I don't have to go climb a mountain to find Him. I don't even have to go to church to pray. He is so real. So right now. So present. And even though the journey is a difficult one on many levels and full of everyday things that just have to be done, I must say my walk with God has changed over the last 15 years. Our everyday God matches o...