The old song, The Anchor Holds,  is playing over and over in my mind this morning. Today is the 15th anniversary of my son's accident. I would be lying if I told you it hasn't been the most difficult season of my life. I'm pretty sure anyone who's faced the challenges of caregiving would agree, at least on some level!  Life's trials help reveal what we are made of. Sometimes, they serve to show us where we are weakest or the most vulnerable. While it feels horrible, it's really a good thing. Over the last decade and a half, I've learned how to trust God more deeply. One of the first things I learned, even while we were in the hospital for 107 days, was how to redefine faith. That's been a journey in itself. I learned that faith doesn't prevent bad stuff from happening (ask Moses, Abraham, David, Paul, and Jesus), but it carries us through the trials and struggles. Scripture tells us to give thanks in all things, and I have become able to thank Him f...

  As I was reading Galatians this morning, I realized that Paul began his greeting by praying grace and peace to the readers. Then, he ended the letter to the new church by speaking grace and peace over them. He spent the letter explaining to them how they were free from the law and free to live in Christ and His abundance. We are no longer bondslaves or slaves to sin because the Liberator lives in us. God provides us with a life of freedom from the bondage of the law - which had the purpose of bringing us to Christ. Now, our lives are hidden in Him, and Jesus lives through us. Wow! Paul also mentioned in his letter to the Corinthians that God explained how His grace was enough - enough for whatever Paul was going through - and the dude went through a LOT! It seems God has us totally covered from the inside out. There is nothing that can come our way that His grace will not cover. The cool thing for me as a caregiver is that His grace knows just when to step in and carry me. But it...

 This morning, I was reading through Paul's list in 2 Corinthians 11. The dude went through a lot! As caregivers, we have quite the list, too, but I'm not sure it's measurable or comparable to Paul's. Robbers, beatings, shipwrecks, prison stays, swept away at sea, and even one stoning. Can one man handle all that? Evidently, Paul goes on to say he's not boasting. Instead, he's giving examples to demonstrate that God can carry us through anything. In the next chapter, one single thing was annoying Paul, and it's not clear what that one big thing was. However, he explains to the Christians in Corinth that God has told him that His grace is enough for the whatevers. We can count on that grace to be enough for today as well. God is able to see us through thick and thin circumstances. I know that's an older term, and I am not even sure what it means. Lol. But I do know that life can feel so thick I can't breathe sometimes. And my patience can run thin. No...

 Even though we are all caregivers, our stories are very different. Some of us care for aging loved ones. Other care for adult children. Others have provided life-long care for children born with disabilities. No matter what the details our stories contain, there are a few things that are the same. God's grace is woven into our stories. Through His grace, we stand today. In 2 Corinthians 12, we find the apostle Paul struggling with life. We understand that life, in general, is going to present difficulties, trials, and tribulations. But it also presents many opportunities to trust God just a little bit more. Since he called it a "thorn in the flesh ," we can assume it was something in the natural that he was dealing with. Most agree that it was a physical condition and that perhaps Paul was ill. Whatever it was, Paul asked God to take it away three different times.  I can't say that I've asked God to "take away" caregiving. I cherished being able to take...

 This morning, I had an old hymn come across my mind. This tune is now stuck in my head, and I am humming, "Every day with Jesus is sweeter than the day before. Every day with Jesus, I love Him more and more..." You may or may not know the song, but as I was singing it in my mind, I thought about the truth the words carry.  No one will argue that the caregiver's journey is loaded with challenges, struggles, and pain. Of course, it also presents wins, triumphs, and joys! One of the things that keeps me going is knowing that God has me and doesn't leave me when the road gets rocky or difficult. He's an everyday kind of God. I don't have to go climb a mountain to find Him. I don't even have to go to church to pray. He is so real. So right now. So present. And even though the journey is a difficult one on many levels and full of everyday things that just have to be done, I must say my walk with God has changed over the last 15 years. Our everyday God matches o...

  Does it ever feel like you are a juggler? It does for me. I find myself juggling things all day long and making sure the most important, although they are all  important, things get done. I juggle therapies, meals, bath time for both of us, transfers, client work, meetings, and sundry other tasks that need to be done daily in an attempt to get as many of them done in a day as possible. Most days, I feel like, hey, I get done what needs to be done, and the rest can wait until tomorrow's list. I've finally learned that at the end of the day and my strength, I have to look at what did  get done that day, not at the things left undone. It is frustrating to not be superwoman sometimes. Lol. Along with juggling all the natural tasks that need to be done each day, I find myself juggling emotions, too. I've teased that I can go from the mountaintop of emotions to the valley of despair in under 2 seconds. And it's true. Seeing an old picture, hearing a tune, or one of many oth...

 This morning, I was reading in 1 Corinthians and slowed down in chapter 10 as my brain kicked in. It's always good to read the Bible and use your brain at the same time! Lol. I stopped to meditate on verses 12 and 13. Paul is talking about temptation. While I cannot and will not say that caregiving is a temptation, I think we can acknowledge that it does present a whole new level to be tempted on.  In verse 13, Paul is trying to encourage the new believers by explaining that everyone is tempted. He's also alluding to the fact that there are no new  temptations - we are still dealing with the temptations that existed from the time God said, Let there be light. Of course, our temptations vary with respect to what the enemy of our souls knows to work for us as individuals. We each have areas of weakness that he's striving to exploit. The enemy likes to tempt us, draw us away, and then condemn us for falling or failing. It's really the same method he's used throughout ...

  When time stands still, it's not usually a good thing, right? The Saturday morning I got the call that my son had been in an accident and med-flighted to the nearest trauma center was one of those moments. And even though it's been 15 years, my life was immediately divided into two timelines, two different worlds. But as I was reading Mark this morning, I found a place where time stood still, and it has a very positive connotation. Let's explore. In Mark 10, Bartimaeus heard the crowd as Jesus came near. When he heard that the crowd had gathered because Jesus was there, he began to cry out to Him. He yelled, "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!" The crowd didn't like it at all, so they told him to be quiet. Do you ever feel that way? As caregivers, people often acknowledge our situations, like the crowd acknowledged Bartimaeus' blindness, but they want us to be quiet about our need. And that's okay, I get that.  While the crowd was pushing Bartima...

  Do you ever feel like you are missing out on life's best? This was my feeling over the weekend. I had planned on pushing my son in a local 5K on Sunday. It's a free one, and we've done it for several years. It's a nice outdoor activity and a very social, healthy atmosphere. Because he'd experienced asthma-related issues Friday and Saturday, I chose to cancel our fun outing. He may have been fine, but I didn't want to take a chance at him not being okay on Monday when he goes to the 34 Project for his active fitness sessions. It's more important, so I canceled. Again. It can seem like we make a lot of plans only to cancel them over and over. It is frustrating for us as caregivers and easy for us to feel like we are missing out. Also, others don't always understand our dilemma, so they often just stop inviting us. It can be easy to settle into those raw emotions and difficult to harness our thoughts. Canceled again. And again. And again. It can become a ...

 Sometimes, I have tons of questions. Why did this or that have to happen? Why is it happening to my family? What happened to "normal"? There have been many questions along the caregiving journey. Over the last 15 years, I've been the caregiver to my son, and for three of those years, I was also the caregiver for my Aunt Polly. Periodically, I got to keep my mom for a week here and there as well. I must say, It's been a salty season. Salty seasons are part of life, aren't they? I found a little comfort in my reading this morning. In Mark 9:49, Jesus said that everyone will be seasoned with fire.  What did He mean by that? In context, the disciples had been arguing about who was going to be the greatest once Jesus set up His kingdom. This line of thinking demonstrated how far short they were of understanding His kingdom was not an earthly reign but a supernatural eternal reign.  Next, the disciples were asking about someone who was doing the works of Christ but was...

  Caregivers and new parents understand the significance of chocolate pudding. Maybe you already know it's code for something else. Those who care for others get it - you don't taste or smell it to see if it is chocolate pudding or not. Why not? Because it is most likely NOT!  Yesterday, was a chocolate pudding day. Let's be real for a minute. There are some down sides to caregiving and many unmentionables. I'll be as discreet as I can with this story. When those we care for are challenged physically and lack mobility, constipation can be a real issue. I have tried everything with my poor son, but sometimes I think the cure is worse. Lol. There are lots of over the counter options and pharmaceutical products. But I tend to lean toward more natural methods. Fortunately, and oddly enough unfortunately, I've found something that works. But it works well. :-) I make a cocktail of warm coffee mixed with 2 tablespoons of Epsom salt to put in his tube. It hasn't failed...

  The definition of duality is to have an instant of opposition or contrast between two concepts or two aspects. For caregivers, I think it is having two seemingly conflicting emotions going on at the same time. We often deal with living grief that is ongoing. It is possible for grief and joy to be felt and expressed at the same time. I rejoice over every little bit of progress my son makes, but still have the living grief running in the background. I'm supposed to be happy for his new job, enjoying his marriage, and looking forward to the birth of his children, not that he ate a cup of food or took two steps with little help. We often feel conflicting emotions. Perhaps we are too quick to condemn ourselves when we shouldn't. I found an example of duality in the Bible during my daily readings over the weekend. In Matthew 28, after that angel announces that Jesus has been resurrected, it says the two Marys went away with fear and great joy. What a moment, right? They were overco...

 Is it just me, or does it seem like Jesus was always telling His disciples to not be afraid? He told them that when they were in a boat, two different times. When He was transfigured, and they were scared outside their minds by the booming voice of God, Jesus told them not to be afraid. Then, after the resurrection, when they were all gathered in a room in hiding because they were afraid,  Jesus appeared to them out of nowhere and told them again, don't be afraid. It seems like Jesus had to tell them over and over to not be afraid. I don't know what I'd do if I were in a boat on a stormy sea and saw the outline of Jesus walking on the water toward me! I'd probably be scared, too. Undoubtedly! I don't know exactly what I'd do should I hear a booming voice from heaven. Maybe I would hit the ground and cover my head like the disciples.  As caregivers, sometimes, everything can be scary. I remember when I first brought my son home in July of 2010. I wasn't scar...

  What goes through your mind on any given day? I wonder, if it were possible to count our thoughts, what the number of thoughts would be in a day. My brain starts running as soon as I hit the snooze the third time. It doesn't stop until I lay down and doze off at night - and still, sometimes, I wake up in the night, especially if there is something weighing on my heart. I think that's called stress. Lol. I know each of our caregiving journeys is different. So are our personalities, the way we deal with life and caregiving, as well as the elements that make up our day-to-day lives. But no matter what your picture looks like, thoughts can start crowding in. There are lots of things that can take up space in our minds. Daily caregiving tasks Working through a particular situation or difficulty Dealing with caregiving-related emotions Handling grief on many levels Navigating healthcare nightmares Looking to the future These are just a few of the things that tend to create a crowd ...

 I love the story in Matthew 14 when Jesus fed the 5000 with just a few loaves of bread and a couple of fish. When you stop and analyze some of the finer details and think about it as a real-life event, not just a story, it is a little bit funny, too.  Jesus has just come out of solitude after He learned that his cousin, John the Baptist, had been beheaded. This is another example of grief in the scriptures. When Jesus heard the news, He withdrew from the crowds. But as soon as He came back out, there was a multitude waiting for Him. He didn't send them away and tell them that He was working through His own stuff. No. He was moved with compassion  and healed them. The disciples were in the background doing some calculations and taking inventory. As evening fell, they decided the best thing to do was to send the people away so they  could feed themselves. In verse 16, Jesus says, they don't need to go away; you give them something to eat. The disciple's response ...