Each New Day

 

I'm so thankful for each new day. Scripture promises us that His mercies are new every morning. (Lamentations 3:23) God doesn't have mornings since He dwells in constant light - because He is the light! So, that leads me to believe that He's created new mercies for each of our new mornings. That makes sense. Have you ever had a situation you were not sure how to handle? You went to sleep and voila! When you woke up, you knew exactly how to handle it. How that happens while we sleep - I will never know. But it happens a lot. There's something about having a new day to take on old problems. It's refreshing and often revealing.

But this morning, as I was reading, I realized Jesus made us a promise for our new days. I didn't necessarily like it, though. In Matthew 6, during the sermon on the mount - He's talking about not worrying about stuff. God is our Father, and He knows. He knows that we need all the basic stuff like food and clothes. Jesus promises us that as we seek the Kingdom - God will take care of all these things.

But then in verse 34, He says Don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. I thought, what an interesting "promise." I like the one about mercies every morning better, personally. lol.

Jesus also promised us that we'll have tribulation in this world, even though He's overcome the world. At first, I thought about why He has promised us that each new day will bring its own set of problems for us to navigate through (with His help, of course!). He never promised that nothing bad would ever happen again once we got saved. He kind of promises the opposite, doesn't He? 

That's one of the things I love about the Bible. It doesn't whitewash reality. There's nothing swept under the rug. We see real people with real flaws dealing with real situations and trials. Isn't that what encourages us? The thought of having to be perfect every day is overwhelming - on top of overwhelming circumstances. But we see Moses, Jonah, Peter, and more of our favorite Bible characters messing up. God didn't throw anyone away. Instead - His mercies were new for them each morning. He promised to walk with them and not abandon them - even in their mess-ups. Man, am I thankful for that!

Today, I don't need to remind myself that I am imperfect. But I do need to remind myself that the perfect God walks with me through the trials and tribulations each day brings. My meditations will be on His new mercies - for today - for this day - the one I'm in right now. I'll remind myself that He's got me right here - right now. And my declaration will be: I will trust You, Lord - with my heart, with my soul, with my life, with my loved one - today. Will you join me?

One Little City

 Never underestimate the small stuff. As caregivers, sometimes it's the smallest gestures that mean the most. A couple of years ago, I had gone up to see my mom for Mother's Day. On the way home, I stopped at a local lake just to see if it was accessible. I was pushing my son out to see the water, and a young man passed. He suddenly stopped, turned around, and said, "Happy Mother's Day." I felt his genuine compassion, and with tears sneaking up in my eyes, I quietly said, "thank you." No one else had thought to tell me HMD. And, of course, my son can't. Even though it was from a total stranger - it meant so much.

The smallest things often weigh the most. I thought about some of these things as I was reading in Micah this morning. In chapter 5, he's talking about the small city of Bethlehem. He says you are only a small village in Judah.  But then, the prophet goes on to prophesy about the birth of Christ, and he says, Yet a ruler of Israel will come from you. Wow - It's like - Hey, you tiny little city - nothing noteworthy about you at all. But the Prince of Peace is going to choose you to make His entry into time! 

Later on, Micah goes on to say that He will be the source of our peace. I love that. God chooses the simplest ways to bless us, doesn't He? It's possible we would have never heard of Bethlehem if Jesus hadn't come through there. But because it's a part of the "Christmas Story," we have all heard about this tiny little town, which has since grown to be a large one. 

Sometimes, in our days, it's the smallest things that can set us off (maybe that's just me!), and it's the smallest things that touch our hearts. I card from a friend. I phone call. Just someone choosing to be nice instead of acting out. A young man who opens the door for you as you're trying to get in the store. There are lots of these small acts that weigh so much. Sometimes, His peace just overwhelms me. It's not often, but I don't take it for granted. It is usually when I need it most. Maybe I just sense His grace to handle a situation with a client or suddenly know how to adjust my schedule so the day goes smoother and Chris and I can both have our needs met. It's certain that He shows up in the most unusual ways sometimes. I mean, come on - Bethlehem? lol.

Today, I will remind myself to look for those little signs that He is right here with me. I will purposefully wait for Him before making decisions or making a move of any kind. I'll acknowledge His presence as I go about my usual caregiving chores. And I will wait for His peace. Will you join me?

Don't Look Away

 As a caregiver, it's never a pleasant experience when people distance themselves. But I'm sorry to say, it happens a lot. At least it has for me. I've had a few people over the years who ran like the house was on fire once they found out I chose to care for my son at home rather than putting him in a facility.

There's nothing wrong with a facility when it's needed. But I felt like my son would be at an advantage in a home environment. I can think of two people who literally walked away when they found out this was what they felt was a "choice." 

Then yesterday, I was FaceTiming with a distant cousin. It was time to tube feed Chris. My cousin asked me to set the phone where he couldn't see that. That doesn't really bother me - because some people are squeamish. I was at first, too, but I soon got over it! lol. While it didn't bother me, it made me think about some stuff. Like how people look away because they don't want to see the painful parts of caregiving. 

Sometimes, people want to see us overcome circumstances - but they don't want to witness the struggle it takes. So- they look away. Which, on this end - feels like rejection.

My thoughts soon led me back to the story of Hagar. In Genesis 16, she said, He's the God who sees me. One way it could have been translated is God the Seer. The One who sees - maybe He sees and keeps on looking. When God sees our heartbreaks and triumphs - He keeps on seeing; He never looks away. He never says our life's picture is too complicated, we give Him a headache, or we stress Him out. He sees and keeps on seeing. I'm so glad God doesn't look away.

Psalm 34:15 says The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their cry.

Today, I'll meditate on how He sees and keeps on seeing me and my son. I'll remind myself that He is so aware of us and so intently tuned in to our every cry, song, shout, and silent tear. Nothing gets by Him. No hurt is too deep for Him to see - or for Him to heal. My thoughts will be on how intent He is on being with us - walking with us - talking with us - seeing and hearing us. I will relax and rest in His ever-abiding presence today as I trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

Where Did He Go?

 

Don't you love those times when God feels so close? There is no doubt that He's right here - right now and He's walking through the day or midnight with you. I do. But then there are those times that even though I know He's here - I can't seem to find Him or hear Him. Those are not fun times, for sure.

This morning I read in Jeremiah 23:23-24 where God said through the prophet: An I a God near at hand and not a God afar off? Can anyone hide in secret places, so I cannot see him? do I not fill heaven and earth? There were several things in these two verses that spoke to my heart personally this morning.

I love that God asks in an explanative way  - how can I be close and not be far? Because I don't know where you are, but I'm happy to say that God is right here in Oklahoma with me and my son! :-) He is also there with you wherever you and your loved ones are. So, He's near to me here - yet far away from me with you. AND He's near to you there - but far away with us too. If I go somewhere else and find a new "here," He'll be there too! I can't outrun Him, hide from Him, or get away from His presence. (Not that I'm trying!) He is everywhere.

In the next verse, God mentions how impossible it is for us to try hiding from Him. I don't know that I try to hide from Him, but this reminds me that even if I tried to - He could still see me. Nothing obstructs His view of my heart.No difficulty. No trial. No empty bank account. No rejection. No problem. No sin. His all-seeing eye can see through anything as He looks into the depths of my being. I love that literally nothing can get in the way of Him seeing me. (I am going to meditate on that for a few!) He never says - I'll call back in a few - I can't hear you - bad connection. And there's no - bad connection where He says He can't see us - the picture is too fuzzy - or out of focus - nope. He can see us through anything. And that has a dual meaning.

The last part of verse 24 says Do I not fill heaven and earth? Again - every space is open to His sight and He is in every place. He fills it - completely. That includes my heart.

Today, I will meditate on how He sees through caregiving to make out the pure picture of my heart. My thoughts will be on how He sees me through anything that might try to cloud His view. And - I'll turn my thoughts to how He will carry me through anything back to His heart. I'll remind myself that He is right here - right now, and He's going nowhere soon. Because He's already there too. lol. My thoughts and heart will be on His all-seeing eye that never turns away from the view of my heart. And so, I know I can trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

In the Asking

 

You ever just have one of "those days"? I'm in one now - but it started yesterday when I was verbally attacked by a client. It sent me off on this emotional train wreck as it felt like everything was caving in around me. It wasn't, but it sure felt like it until I got a grip on His grace again!

It's taken me a long time to get all that out of my head and to remind myself that I am valuable to Him - and nothing else - no one else's opinion really matters. This morning, I spent time praying about it all and writing it out in my journal. That is a tool I highly recommend as it is a safe place - with no one else's opinions and no one else's thoughts. I like it because I can put it all there - walk away and never look back. It really is a great way to plan my personal changes. It's also a great place to leave all the emotions there and walk away.

As I finished writing out my thoughts and prayers, I found myself in Psalm 13. It says How long, O Lord will you look on? How long, O Lord, will you look the other way - while I have anguish in my soul. (I don't know what versions that rolled out of - that's the words that I remember in no particular order. lol) But as I was stuck in deep feelings of aloneness, I realized something. Just in praying that Psalm - as our hearts cry out to Him - it acknowledges His presence. Crying out to Him - praying to Him - seeking Him - is our heart's way of still believing that He's there. And in that pain-filled moment, I had comfort.

Even though my heart was asking if He was still looking the other way - it was seeking Him. Isn't that faith in the fire? Isn't that our heart's way of saying what the 3 Hebrew children told the king - who represents this world today? My God is able..... He is able to deliver - but if not - I'm still not going to bow!

Whether we are seeking Him from an emotional shipwreck or asking for direction, seeking Him without words or with tears, our heart is telling us that we still know He's there. We haven't denied Him. We haven't walked away. No matter how alone we may feel. No matter how lost we may feel. No matter how far back into the cave we feel we moved - He's only a breath away.

Today, as I crawl out of this fog, I will remind myself that my questions mean I am still seeking. I will think about my intense desire to be with Him, and I will turn my heart and my thoughts to His great love for me. I'll remind myself that His grace is sufficient for this day - no matter what it does or does not bring. I'll meditate on His grace, His mercy, His love - and I will thank Him for being here in the fog even as I trust Him for one more day - will you join me?

It's the Journey

 This week it seems like it's been just one thing after another. From asthma attacks to clogged feeding tubes. As if it's not enough to just handle the "normal" day-to-day tasks of caregiving, it seems like sometimes these extras just need to pop up. Lol. It really is about the whole journey, isn't it? We're taking care of another whole person, after all!

But I've started noticing something about the journey - I think it's just an itsy bitsy bit easier to find His peace in the middle of it all. I've accepted that I'm an overthinker - it's just how I process stuff. But even in that process, I'm finding His peace a little quicker these days. Too bad He didn't equip us with a "peace" button we could push when we need it. I need a "grace" button too. lol. 

Sometimes, the journey to finding His peace is long and hard. But I have to say it's worth it. However, that doesn't mean that I have it all together yet. Maybe I haven't quite mastered letting His peace reign in my heart. But the relationship with Him that I've been building in the process - is so worth it. Isn't that what it's really all about, ultimately? 

To learn and accept that He is with me all the time - good days, bad days, days I don't want to go on - He's right there. The journey is worth it. To know that He loves me even when I am so mad in life's situations that I'm ready to spit and cuss. The journey is worth it. To know in those long, dark, midnight hours - there is someone to call on. The journey is worth it.

Today, my meditations will be on how I continue to learn about Him and trust Him more through this journey called caregiving. I'll focus my affections on my relationship with Him - that's one thing we don't have to miss out on as caregivers, right? We may miss weddings, funerals, and all sorts of family gatherings and outings - but we don't have to miss out on our relationship with Him. So, today I will rejoice in His presence right here, right now, with me - and I'll trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

Who "Gets" Us?

 

Even though the number of caregivers around the world is climbing, many people just don't get us. Baby Boomers are starting to care for their aging parents, which is why the numbers are rising. There are also a lot of people like me sandwiched between caring for aging loved ones and kids with disabilities. But there are still so many people who don't understand.

Maybe they just can't understand what we face day after day. Or maybe they don't want to. Until someone has been in a caregiving position, they may not ever understand how emotionally, spiritually, and physically draining it can be. Of course, it's not like that every day all the time. But over time, it can be draining, to say the least. Each day we reinvent ourselves to do it again! why? Because of love.

Sometimes, others' inability to empathize with our caregiving lifestyle feels isolating. It can drive us deeper into the aloneness that eats away. It's easy to feel like no one understands, no one really sees, no one "gets" us. But the good news is that there is One Who will always "get" us. 

God understands. As a matter of fact, He understands us so well that He "gets" the things we don't have words for. That oughta blow your mind! He gets the words, thoughts, and emotions behind every tear that falls. Then He catches it as a momento of our trust in Him. 

He gets all the ins, outs, ups, and downs that come with the caregiving package. And in the midst of whatever all of that looks like for you today - He still says - Here's my peace, grace, and mercy to help you today. When Jesus said, My peace I leave with you -  the disciples were all right there, including Judas, who would betray Him with a kiss, and Peter, who was going to deny he ever knew Him. Jesus didn't even disqualify them! He won't disqualify us either - He gets us.

Today, I'll remind myself that God understands. I'll think about how He sees more of my situation than I do - and still chooses to hang around! That makes me smile. My thoughts will run down memory lane recalling the times He's helped me before - whether I "deserved" it or not. I'll think about His grace and mercy and peace - and how there are no "disqualifiers." I will meditate on His constant presence as He chooses to walk through time with me rather than just waiting for me at the end. Because He gets me. I'll thank Him for understanding me - for understanding you. Will you join me in trusting Him for one more day?

                                                                                                                                           

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