Daily Devotions for Caregivers

  It's funny how normal things can just leap out at you, isn't it? I make my living by writing for clients. I provide lots of web content which is mostly blog posts. My clients are from a wide variety of industries, so I get a lot of experience. One of the blogs I maintain for one of my clients has some issues. I sent him an email and explained what had happened and that I would get his new posts up for him and fix the issues on last week's posts. When I got his reply this morning, it jumped out at me. He simply said, No worries. You always take care of me. I have worked with this client for more than a year but I got this boost of confidence directly from his confidence and trust in me. It seemed like I could literally feel his trust. And of course, that got me thinking! :-) Can I have that same trust in God? What if I looked at my circumstances, then looked at Him and said, No worries. You always take care of me. And then, I just didn't worry about it anymore. As care

  I'm still exploring the Bible's caregivers t hat we took a brief look at yesterday. Today, I focused on Mephibosheth and David. In 2 Samuel 9, David was looking for somebody - anybody from Saul's family. He said he wanted to "show them the kindness of God" (v.3) because of his friendship with Jonathan. Ziba, a servant of Saul's household was brought before David and told the king that there was one of Jonathan's sons remaining. He also explained that Mephibosheth was "disabled in both feet." (NASB) David's next question is awesome to me - he simply said, "Where is he?" He didn't ask Ziba to "define 'disabled'." He didn't ask if he could walk some, or how much help Mephibosheth needed. He simply said, "Where is he?" It doesn't appear that King David was inquisitive about any of the caregiving details. He didn't seem to consider how much care Mephibosheth needed, if he needed a chair, or h

  As the year draws to an end and I start setting new goals for the upcoming year, I spent time this morning praying and thinking about this blog in particular. I feel like I have failed you, my fellow caregivers, by not being more consistent in posting. That's one thing on my list - to post consistently! I'm working on a time each week where I can set down with coffee or tea in hand and write a week's worth at a time. I prefer writing them every morning, but logistically that doesn't always work out. :-)  So, I was thinking about taking topics and expanding them out. That led me down a series of thoughts about the caregivers in the Bible. While I've just started compiling a list I came up with these few off the top of my head: Abraham and Isaac David and Mephibosheth Hagar and Ishmael Joseph and his dad and brothers I thought, man, those are some great ones to start with!  These are some of our favorite Bible heroes, but we don't often think of them as "ca

  Each day brings a whole range of emotions for a caregiver. I don't want to brag but I can go from the epitome of cheer to the pits of despair in a matter of just a couple of seconds! I can be having a great day and happy to be alive and see a photo of one of Chris' friends on Facebook - and sadness overwhelms me as I wonder where he'd be and what he'd be doing if the wreck hadn't happened. Sometimes, good things cause sadness. Another example is when he makes progress. It's so exciting! But it's sad too that I am rejoicing that he took one step when it should be other things like getting married or pursuing his career in music. It's easy to paint over those emotions, isn't it? Lately, I've discovered that I really enjoy painting. I've tried watercolor and like it. But I've done more with acrylics. There is something therapeutic about mixing colors and creating. I like some of my final products and I like some less. lol. But I never worr

  As I was getting around early this morning, my mind was already racing through today. What will it look like? How will it all unfold? I am not expecting the aide to come today even though he is scheduled to be here. But after all, it is Christmas Eve. I'm so sure he's not coming that I already did all of Chris' laundry. lol As I was thinking of the things I would have done today if he did come, I made mental adjustments. Some things I can still accomplish, I'll just have to do them differently. Other things will just have to wait. The story of our lives, right?  While making the mental adjustments I thought, It's okay - I'm adjustable. Then, I thought of a few fellow caregivers and how often we must make adjustments. We are flexible - otherwise, we'd break for sure. It seems like sometimes every day is a series of well-timed (and sometimes ill-timed) adjustments. Maybe The Adjustables should be a new line of superheroes! Oh wait - we are! lol We make adjus

  What does worship have to do with caregiving? Hand with me a few minutes - and I'll explain. The church has long considered a "worship leader" the one who stands on the stage and leads in song. But really, that's just a song leader - not necessarily a worship leader. And sadly, over the last few years it's become more about the show than about worship. For many, it's about manipulating the crowd's actions than it has been about touching the heart of God.  I've long held that worship isn't about music at all. At best music may be an expression of worship , but it's not worship. True worship is sacrificing our desires for His. Think of Abraham. He laid Isaac on the altar, fully knowing that his son was the embodiment of God's promise to him. That was an act of worship. There was no music playing. No offering taken. No instruments or choir humming in the background. It was raw and real worship - obedience to God over emotions, promises, desi

  Transfers are a way of life - part of the normal day-to-day for many caregivers. My son is total care, that means numerous times over the day I move him from place to place. He can bear weight, pivot a bit, and use his muscles to sit, but still needs max assistance for safety's sake. When I first brought him home over a decade ago, I was terrified. Although he only got up for an hour a day back then, I would get sick to my stomach when it was time to transfer him from the bed to the chair and vice versa. Needless to say - I'm long over those fears. :-)  This morning I had him up on the side of the bed ready to get into his chair. He was having a bit of difficulty and his eyes were acting up - allergies or something. I leaned in. Placed my arms under his and gently said, "trust me." He totally relaxed as I lifted him and placed him safely in his wheelchair. But at that moment, it was as though I heard God say the same thing to me. Trust Me. Sometimes I feel strong. B

 I love the story of Daniel and this morning during my daily devotions, I read through the first few chapters. I am awed by their dedication and commitment to God even though they became captives in a foreign land. We see God gives them wisdom that far excelled the pagan magicians and wizards in the land. They were even made rulers over all of Babylon. (Daniel 2:48-49) Moving ahead to Daniel 6, the jealous princes were trying to destroy Daniel. They devised a wicked plot and tricked the king into making a decree. When they came back to report to the king that Daniel had disobeyed by praying to God, they referred to him as "one of the captives from Judah." Never mind that he was the ruler of all the provinces of Babylon, right? Sometimes in life, we encounter people who refuse to see us for who we are. As a caregiver, many times people only  see us as a caregiver. They don't see us as Bible teachers, preachers, ministers, writers, or anything else. It's like how David&

 Did you have dreams before caregiving? For many of you who are caring for elderly parents, maybe you had high hopes for retirement. For those who provide care for special needs adults, the dreams may have looked a bit different, but they existed. When my son was injured in the accident, I was headed to the mission field to fulfill my life-long dream. Broken and shattered dreams can be difficult to deal with. You can move on, but you can't always pick up those pieces without always wondering, what if. I'm like - what are we supposed to do with those unfulfilled dreams? I question if they were my own - or if God orchestrated them. Either way - there's only one thing to do with them. Give them to Him. My mind goes to some of our popular Bible heroes. I think of Joseph who had the dreams about his family bowing down to him. Maybe he didn't quite understand them. But I'm certain that they didn't seem to be panning out as he spent years sitting in a dungeon-like cell

This morning I was thinking about some of the people in the Bible who went through rough times. Honestly, it's those who endured hard places that earn the respect of believers, right? We never look at someone Bible character or not and think oh, they have never faced any difficulties - I respect them so much.   lol. It's the fact that people walk through life's stuff with their faith intact that earns our admiration and respect. I like to read biographies and autobiographies - but it's the things the main character endures that make the story inspirational and interesting. I thought back about David and how when Samuel the prophet came to anoint "one of Jesse's sons" as king - no one remembered to go get David from tending the sheep. He had the choice of focusing on rejection - but he didn't make that his focus. Then, I thought about Daniel, not just in the lion's den. He was taken captive as a young lad and lived nearly his entire life as a slave

 Do you ever just feel out of step with the rest of the world? I'm not really sure what everyone uses to measure "normal" but I think our caregiving lives don't fit the mold. :-) Most of the time, I'm good with it - I know we walk a very different walk. However, I also know that the baby boomer generation is busy taking care of our parents, so it's a bigger thing than most think. Honestly, I'm not sure about everyone else - but I am sure about me. And I feel out of step with pretty much the rest of the world. When you are a caregiver: Simple things are not simple. Doable things are not doable. Basic activities of life are more complicated. I know you understand. In one way, the pandemic has been a huge help. It's so much easier to order groceries and household supplies now. I am thankful for that since just going to the store can be a huge deal. One cough from my son and the trip is off! lol (Yes, I'm a bit overprotective like that!) With the holid

  It’s impossible to predict the exact moment of death, but there are signs that the end is looming just around the corner. From a loss of appetite to labored breathing, most people exhibit a few behaviors that indicate the time to say goodbye is now. As difficult as it is to consider, as a caregiver, you must learn to recognize the portents of passing and help make the final transition as reassuring as possible for both you and your loved one. Here are some tips to help prepare you for this difficult but natural transition.   Is the end near?   One of the first signs the body is shutting down is a loss of appetite, according to senior caregiving specialists at Caring.com. This may be accompanied by excessive fatigue and increased physical weakness. A dying person may be unable to change their position in the bed. Disorientation and labored breathing are also common; listen for Cheyne-Stokes respirations , which is abnormal breathing characterized by increasingly deeper breaths

  As caregivers, we have a lot in common. But it's impossible to evenly compare our situations. Among caregivers, circumstances can vary greatly and no two situations are the same, even though they may be somewhat similar. Some of us care for elderly parents, others for our children. You may provide care for a sibling, an aunt, or someone else you care for deeply.  Some of our loved ones are total care, others can do a few things on their own. Some of us live in the home with our loved ones, others are long-distance caregivers. Any way you slice it, we are providing care for someone we value.  One thing we may share though is feelings of being overlooked. It can be hard to find where we fit in our communities, our families, even our churches. Our lives look much different when compared to the rest of the world and we experience different levels of "normal" in our day-to-day. We adjust to the new normals of caregiving, though, don't we? But we can't really expect o

 One of the things I deal with as a caregiver is being alone. This becomes emotionally complicated by so many weird little details. For instance, I almost  had a date this weekend! (For real.) But they canceled because they got too busy. I was a little bit relieved, to be honest. But I'd already gone to the expense and effort of hiring a sitter. I'll probably take myself out! lol But it left me feeling emotionally drained and alone. I took it a lot harder than I thought. Feelings of aloneness swept over me and I thought about how even my old friends don't want to hang out with me. You see, time is my love language. So the fact that my friend "didn't have time" spoke volumes to me about how unimportant I was in the scheme of things.  As I sorted through my emotions, a familiar scripture came to mind. It's in Psalm 139. David says  You watched me form in the womb.  But It was like I could see God watching over a baby forming in the womb. I watched you as you

 This morning in my devotions I found myself in Psalm 57. It's a passage very familiar to me and dear to my heart. When I was sick with a mystery illness  back in 1986-7, I read this psalm over and over as I literally held onto it for dear life. It's got all the elements: prayer, praise, despair, faith, and declarations. This particular psalm is written by David, the same David who ran toward Goliath and declared that God would deliver the giant into his hands that very day. But now, he's running from a mad man, Saul. David is hiding in a cave. That's a far cry from chasing down a giant, right? He's open and honest about his distress. In verses four and six he says,  I am surrounded! My enemies have set a trap for me! I am weary. Man, can I relate to that! Many times I feel surrounded by enemies like fear and doubt. It takes a lot of courage and strength to just keep putting one foot in front of the other. The cool thing about David though, is that he always brings

Do you ever feel like you've reached the end of what you can do? It may stem from pure exhaustion, but it feels like it's a "that's it" moment. It feels like God doesn't hear. It feels like He has moved away. There are just those times of overwhelm. Or maybe it's just me. I do think that the psalmist was feeling these types of emotions when he penned Psalm 13. It's not clear what type(s) of circumstances David was facing, but his emotions are clear. His soul is crying out for God to intervene. In the New Living Translation, Psalm 13 reads this way: O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever? How long will you look the other way? How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day? How long will my enemy have the upper hand? Turn and answer me, O Lord my God! Restore the light to my eyes, or I will die. Don't let my enemies gloat, saying, "We have defeated him!" Don't let them rejoice at my downfall. B

  Social isolation is real, for caregivers. Actually, most of us dealt with it LONG before the COVID pandemic. It was almost amusing, if it hadn't been so serious, to see people whining and crying about having to stay home and "miss" all the social interaction. I wrote a post welcoming them to our world. Many of us have lived a life of social isolation for years. Our "norm" just become more complicated during the pandemic.  I guess the aloneness is what made this scripture stand out in my private devotions this morning. It's a familiar passage, and yes, I was reading it because yesterday was Thanksgiving, and giving thanks was on my mind.  Psalm 100 is just five short verses and I really enjoy the New Living Translation, but any translation or paraphrase is good! Verse three is the one that stood out to me today. It says Acknowledge that He is God! He made us, and we are His. We are His people, the sheep of His pasture. I noticed, of course, that the caregiv

 I'm still in Isaiah 41 today! But today, I'm looking at verses 17 to 20. It's a rich passage for us caregivers. It talks about the poor and needy, and how they fail for thirst. But God promises to hear them and not forsake them. I feel poor sometimes. And as much as I hate it, I feel needy sometimes. But God is here. He hears the pain in our tears and feels the dispair in our fears. He doesn't stop with helping us and hearing us though. Here are some of the things He says He will do for us: open rivers in desolate areas cause fountains to spring up in valleys make pools of water in the wilderness place springs in the dry land As He carries out these magnificent feats, these barren places begin to sprout and bring forth vegetation. In my mind, I picture a desert becoming an oasis. It's like a feast for the eyes and soul in the middle of a barren, dry place. A dessert in the desert if you will. It always amazes me how God can take those broken areas of our lives and

  This morning in my personal devotion time, I found myself in Isaiah 41. The whole chapter spoke to me today. But I want to focus on something that God said three times. First off, the prophet Isaiah, speaking God's words to His people refers to the children of Abraham. To clarify - that's now us! (Galatians 3:29) Between verses 10 and 14 three times, God said, I will help you. This stuck out to me today in particular because, well, I need help! As caregivers, we face a lot of emotions, situations, circumstances, and trials. We need help sometimes and it's not always there. But God took the time to tell His kids that He would help them! He even added fear not  in the mix each of the three times He told them (us) that He would help us. Life doesn't get put on hold when we become caregivers. There are still life events like weddings and funerals. Nothing else skips a beat just so our emotions can catch up, right? As rewarding as caregiving can be for most of us - it'

  Does it sometimes feel like our days, lives, and emotions are like a perpetual roller coaster ride? And I'm not talking about the kiddie roller coaster either. I'm comparing it to the biggest, scariest (and a little bit fun) way up and down roller coaster that only the brave will ride! (lol) Maybe (hopefully) it's not that way all the time, but most days sure do have a lot of ups and downs for caregivers. With our emotions staying on the edge most of the time, it doesn't take a whole lot to tip us over. (Maybe it's just me!) Sometimes, we seem to hum along quite nicely figuring days out as we go. Then other times, it feels like one blow after the other with no relief in between. Maybe our loved one becomes ill. That's a game-changer. Supplies don't come, so you order them out of your own pocket. Then the order gets delayed. (LOL - yes it really happens this way, doesn't it?) It can be quite overwhelming, even though there are good days and bad days; sm

 Navigating through caregiving is never easy no matter what the circumstances. I always thought that long-distance caregiving was "easier" than full-time in the home caregiving. But over the last three years, as I cared for my son at home and my aunt in a facility until she passed, I found out it's just a hard job no matter what. There is always   nothing simple about taking care of another person and making decisions on their behalf.  As we work through the process, we learn that there is a lot of waiting. Waiting on doctor's orders to get supplies. Waiting on authorizations for medical procedures. Waiting on paperwork to get aids in to help. And that is just the beginning of a long, long, list. It can feel like we are always  waiting on someone to do their job or to work on our behalf. Waiting can be perplexing and it can feel like we can't do anything to help. In some instances, we can call or email the right person to help things move along faster. Other times

  Have you ever felt like you could use a little help? Who am I talking to, right? As caregivers a little help is great. One of the things we deal with is such a long laundry list of things that need to get done in a day. I'm sure our lists are all long, but they can vary based on the health and needs of our loved ones. My son is total care. That means I have to feed, change, dress, bathe, and transfer him over the course of the day. Although he is awake, he is not yet capable of doing much of anything. He can stand! That makes transfers easier, for sure. Sometimes, an aid is provided. What they don't understand is that everything they do helps. Even the smallest things like sweeping the floors, dusting, or taking out the trash. Those are all things that I won't have to do if they do them. Recently, I've looked at pricing for hiring someone to come in and help clean my apartment. Then I thought, I'm hiring someone to do things the aid is PAID to do but doesn't w

 This morning during my devotions I found myself in Romans 8:28. This is a familiar scripture to most. Usually, we quote it when we don't understand what's going on. It's that go-to for every situation that baffles us. But I saw something in it this morning that grabbed me. That's one of the things I LOVE about the Word, it meets me where I am and speaks new things to my heart. Romans 8:28 in the New Living Translation says this: And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to HIs purpose for them. Today, what stood out to me was "His purpose." Here's where my thoughts went. He didn't put Adam and Eve in the garden and walk away. He came  to them and walked with them, talked with them. When they sinned, He still came looking for them, longing for relationship. God created everything else with His breath, with words. A simple command brought forth plants that bear seeds for more plan

  I consider myself quite the wordsmith. Besides blogs, devotionals , poetry , and journaling, I write for a living as a freelance writer. But sometimes, even I run out of words. There are just those times when my heart hurts and circumstances overwhelm me. Occasionally, those pent-up emotions leak out in the form of tears, but not often. However, there is a calm assurance in knowing that He hears the voice behind the tears. That's one of the things that amazes me about God. He really does understand our emotions. He even understands when we don't have words to express our deepest feelings. David said in Psalm 139:3 You are intimately  acquainted with all my ways. (Amp) There are just those days that seem to swallow me whole. You know? My emotions get away from me. Fears of the future run through my thoughts. Mistakes from the past try to snatch peace. It's easy for us to get down with the mechanics of caregiving.  When I get to that point - my words don't even make sen

  As caregivers, we have good days and bad days  - just like everyone else! Actually, the number of caregivers is on the rise as Baby Boomers begin to age and need more personal care. A friend of mine just informed me the other day that his wife has early signs of Alzheimer's. Finding a caregiver-friend isn't as hard as it used to be as there are lots more of us.  Yet in the midst of all the caregivers, it can be a lonely walk. Maybe we need to meet via zoom too! The latest technological advancements have made it easier to connect. However, in the day-to-day grind of caregiving, it's still easy to feel alone. As I sit here writing this morning's devotion, sipping my coffee, I feel the aloneness. It can be easy to get my focus on that and get lost in it for the rest of the day.  But before I take that dive, I can help myself avoid it by going back to a scripture I read this morning in my private devotions. I found myself in Psalm 9. Verse 10 in the New Living Translation

  Do you ever feel overwhelmed? I ask this question partly in jest because as caregivers it's a definite "all the time" answer, right? Many nights, I feel like a failure. Actually, most nights as I am preparing to collapse into the bed, all the things I didn't get done dance through my head. I think of all those things left on today's to-do list that will remain on tomorrow's new list.  As caregivers, there are so many demands made on us every day. Recently, my son has been ill so this increased doctor visits, nurse visits, etc. I know you know the drill. Scheduling these necessary things on already crowded days can totally overwhelm a person who is already overwhelmed, adding to the negative thoughts of being a failure. Recently, I've learned to identify these negative thoughts as soon as they begin. I start telling myself, "I may not have got this and that done today. But I did get this, this, that, and something else done today." I remind myse

 Do you ever look at scriptures and wonder if they are really for you? I'm not talking about our "regular" ones that we hold on to through the storm. Passages like Psalm 46:1 - God is my refuge and strength, a very present help in times of trouble" - those are our stand-bys, right? But other scriptures, like 2 Peter 1. We don't see a lot of caregiving in the Bible and it would be easy for us to think we are exempt from His blessings, right? I mean it just makes sense that He walks with us through the storms, fires, and deep waters. But if we look at it practically - how do we reap His benefits? Let me say this - we are not  ineligible for any of His blessings just because our circumstances are different than most. I've said it before, but it is worth saying again - there are no exclusionary statements for caregivers. Jesus didn't say He would leave His peace for everyone except caregivers, did He? I'm so glad!! So this morning as I was reading in 2 Pe

 Hi. I know it's been a while, but I'm back! I've been doing live devotions on Facebook and kind of let this blog go. But I think I'm ready to give it a go again. If anyone understands overwhelm - I know it's my fellow caregivers. While doing my Facebook live devotion this morning, I was sharing a scripture out of Psalm 31 and it just seemed like it fit here - so here goes. I spend a lot of time in Psalm 31. So much time, I wrote a devotional called 31 Days in Psalm 31. This morning, I was drawn back into this favorite passage. And as usual, something brand new leaped off the page!  In verses 9-10 David said, Have mercy on me, Lord, for I am in distress. My sight is blurred because of my tears. My body and soul are withering away. I am dying from grief; my years are shortened by sadness. Misery has drained my strength; I am wasting away from within. He paints quite a picture, doesn't he? Maybe he is a bit dramatic - but I know that there are those days each of u