Daily Devotions for Caregivers

  Does it ever feel like you are a juggler? It does for me. I find myself juggling things all day long and making sure the most important, although they are all  important, things get done. I juggle therapies, meals, bath time for both of us, transfers, client work, meetings, and sundry other tasks that need to be done daily in an attempt to get as many of them done in a day as possible. Most days, I feel like, hey, I get done what needs to be done, and the rest can wait until tomorrow's list. I've finally learned that at the end of the day and my strength, I have to look at what did  get done that day, not at the things left undone. It is frustrating to not be superwoman sometimes. Lol. Along with juggling all the natural tasks that need to be done each day, I find myself juggling emotions, too. I've teased that I can go from the mountaintop of emotions to the valley of despair in under 2 seconds. And it's true. Seeing an old picture, hearing a tune, or one of many oth...

 This morning, I was reading in 1 Corinthians and slowed down in chapter 10 as my brain kicked in. It's always good to read the Bible and use your brain at the same time! Lol. I stopped to meditate on verses 12 and 13. Paul is talking about temptation. While I cannot and will not say that caregiving is a temptation, I think we can acknowledge that it does present a whole new level to be tempted on.  In verse 13, Paul is trying to encourage the new believers by explaining that everyone is tempted. He's also alluding to the fact that there are no new  temptations - we are still dealing with the temptations that existed from the time God said, Let there be light. Of course, our temptations vary with respect to what the enemy of our souls knows to work for us as individuals. We each have areas of weakness that he's striving to exploit. The enemy likes to tempt us, draw us away, and then condemn us for falling or failing. It's really the same method he's used throughout ...

  When time stands still, it's not usually a good thing, right? The Saturday morning I got the call that my son had been in an accident and med-flighted to the nearest trauma center was one of those moments. And even though it's been 15 years, my life was immediately divided into two timelines, two different worlds. But as I was reading Mark this morning, I found a place where time stood still, and it has a very positive connotation. Let's explore. In Mark 10, Bartimaeus heard the crowd as Jesus came near. When he heard that the crowd had gathered because Jesus was there, he began to cry out to Him. He yelled, "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!" The crowd didn't like it at all, so they told him to be quiet. Do you ever feel that way? As caregivers, people often acknowledge our situations, like the crowd acknowledged Bartimaeus' blindness, but they want us to be quiet about our need. And that's okay, I get that.  While the crowd was pushing Bartima...

  Do you ever feel like you are missing out on life's best? This was my feeling over the weekend. I had planned on pushing my son in a local 5K on Sunday. It's a free one, and we've done it for several years. It's a nice outdoor activity and a very social, healthy atmosphere. Because he'd experienced asthma-related issues Friday and Saturday, I chose to cancel our fun outing. He may have been fine, but I didn't want to take a chance at him not being okay on Monday when he goes to the 34 Project for his active fitness sessions. It's more important, so I canceled. Again. It can seem like we make a lot of plans only to cancel them over and over. It is frustrating for us as caregivers and easy for us to feel like we are missing out. Also, others don't always understand our dilemma, so they often just stop inviting us. It can be easy to settle into those raw emotions and difficult to harness our thoughts. Canceled again. And again. And again. It can become a ...

 Sometimes, I have tons of questions. Why did this or that have to happen? Why is it happening to my family? What happened to "normal"? There have been many questions along the caregiving journey. Over the last 15 years, I've been the caregiver to my son, and for three of those years, I was also the caregiver for my Aunt Polly. Periodically, I got to keep my mom for a week here and there as well. I must say, It's been a salty season. Salty seasons are part of life, aren't they? I found a little comfort in my reading this morning. In Mark 9:49, Jesus said that everyone will be seasoned with fire.  What did He mean by that? In context, the disciples had been arguing about who was going to be the greatest once Jesus set up His kingdom. This line of thinking demonstrated how far short they were of understanding His kingdom was not an earthly reign but a supernatural eternal reign.  Next, the disciples were asking about someone who was doing the works of Christ but was...

  Caregivers and new parents understand the significance of chocolate pudding. Maybe you already know it's code for something else. Those who care for others get it - you don't taste or smell it to see if it is chocolate pudding or not. Why not? Because it is most likely NOT!  Yesterday, was a chocolate pudding day. Let's be real for a minute. There are some down sides to caregiving and many unmentionables. I'll be as discreet as I can with this story. When those we care for are challenged physically and lack mobility, constipation can be a real issue. I have tried everything with my poor son, but sometimes I think the cure is worse. Lol. There are lots of over the counter options and pharmaceutical products. But I tend to lean toward more natural methods. Fortunately, and oddly enough unfortunately, I've found something that works. But it works well. :-) I make a cocktail of warm coffee mixed with 2 tablespoons of Epsom salt to put in his tube. It hasn't failed...

  The definition of duality is to have an instant of opposition or contrast between two concepts or two aspects. For caregivers, I think it is having two seemingly conflicting emotions going on at the same time. We often deal with living grief that is ongoing. It is possible for grief and joy to be felt and expressed at the same time. I rejoice over every little bit of progress my son makes, but still have the living grief running in the background. I'm supposed to be happy for his new job, enjoying his marriage, and looking forward to the birth of his children, not that he ate a cup of food or took two steps with little help. We often feel conflicting emotions. Perhaps we are too quick to condemn ourselves when we shouldn't. I found an example of duality in the Bible during my daily readings over the weekend. In Matthew 28, after that angel announces that Jesus has been resurrected, it says the two Marys went away with fear and great joy. What a moment, right? They were overco...

 Is it just me, or does it seem like Jesus was always telling His disciples to not be afraid? He told them that when they were in a boat, two different times. When He was transfigured, and they were scared outside their minds by the booming voice of God, Jesus told them not to be afraid. Then, after the resurrection, when they were all gathered in a room in hiding because they were afraid,  Jesus appeared to them out of nowhere and told them again, don't be afraid. It seems like Jesus had to tell them over and over to not be afraid. I don't know what I'd do if I were in a boat on a stormy sea and saw the outline of Jesus walking on the water toward me! I'd probably be scared, too. Undoubtedly! I don't know exactly what I'd do should I hear a booming voice from heaven. Maybe I would hit the ground and cover my head like the disciples.  As caregivers, sometimes, everything can be scary. I remember when I first brought my son home in July of 2010. I wasn't scar...

  What goes through your mind on any given day? I wonder, if it were possible to count our thoughts, what the number of thoughts would be in a day. My brain starts running as soon as I hit the snooze the third time. It doesn't stop until I lay down and doze off at night - and still, sometimes, I wake up in the night, especially if there is something weighing on my heart. I think that's called stress. Lol. I know each of our caregiving journeys is different. So are our personalities, the way we deal with life and caregiving, as well as the elements that make up our day-to-day lives. But no matter what your picture looks like, thoughts can start crowding in. There are lots of things that can take up space in our minds. Daily caregiving tasks Working through a particular situation or difficulty Dealing with caregiving-related emotions Handling grief on many levels Navigating healthcare nightmares Looking to the future These are just a few of the things that tend to create a crowd ...

 I love the story in Matthew 14 when Jesus fed the 5000 with just a few loaves of bread and a couple of fish. When you stop and analyze some of the finer details and think about it as a real-life event, not just a story, it is a little bit funny, too.  Jesus has just come out of solitude after He learned that his cousin, John the Baptist, had been beheaded. This is another example of grief in the scriptures. When Jesus heard the news, He withdrew from the crowds. But as soon as He came back out, there was a multitude waiting for Him. He didn't send them away and tell them that He was working through His own stuff. No. He was moved with compassion  and healed them. The disciples were in the background doing some calculations and taking inventory. As evening fell, they decided the best thing to do was to send the people away so they  could feed themselves. In verse 16, Jesus says, they don't need to go away; you give them something to eat. The disciple's response ...

 I think we can all agree that there are good days, bad days, and something in between. That's true whether we are caregivers or not, right? There are days when things go as planned, or close to it. Then there are days when it feels like everything, including ourselves, is falling apart. Most days, I think are in between days with a lot of good moments and difficult moments mixed in. I'm not really sure where we got the idea that when we got saved everything would be perfect. Maybe the idea came from the '70s Faith Movement. But I find no such thing in the Bible. As a matter of fact, I find the opposite. Take for instance, in Matthew 8:23. It says that Jesus got into a boat - and the disciples followed Him. Following Jesus should be a safe bet, right? Lol - of course it is. But that doesn't mean it's free of trials or struggles. Jesus didn't command them to get in the boat with Him. He didn't ask for their companionship. They didn't even know where He wa...

 This morning, I started reading through the New Testament. I'm certain I can read the entire NT between now and the end of the year. I read the Bible a lot, but I haven't just read it through in a while. Now is as good a time as any to start. I only made it through the first four chapters and into the Sermon on the Mount in chapter 5 before my thoughts ran away with me.  Jesus starts His first public address with what we've called The Beatitudes. He mentions eight "heart conditions" that are blessed. I found us in verse 4. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. In the Greek, mourn  means to mourn or grieve. There's no doubt that caregivers deal with grief on numerous levels, and many endure what is called  living grief. We often mourn over the loss of a person who is still here with us.  Caregivers can also grieve in other ways. Sometimes, grief over life-related losses such as a social life, a job, or other norms can be overwhelming. Ma...

 Do you ever catch yourself talking to yourself? I suppose we all do it to some degree. Since my son is nonverbal, I talk to him a LOT, constantly. I'm sure when he starts talking, the first thing he'll say is something about me shutting up. Lol. As I've grown accustomed to being the only voice in my apartment, I have caught myself talking to myself more often. Sometimes, I mutter something about my lack of intelligence under my breath. I may hear myself say, well, that was dumb. Oftentimes, I find that I tell myself how silly I am or how I did something wrong or offer myself some other negative input. Not long ago, I decided to try to put an end to negative self-talk. I got a fresh notebook and began to write affirmations. So far, I've got about 21 affirmations for caregivers. I hope to turn it into an ebook and make it available in my bookstore  soon.  This morning, I heard myself again, so I decided to change the dialogue. As caregivers, we need to be our own best fr...

Do you think God ever smiles at us? I'm pretty sure He often laughs at my antics. He may even shake His head a time or two as He watches my life unfold. Lol. I don't really know about all of that, but I do think that there are times when He is just pleased with us.  I was chatting via messenger with some friends last week, and the topic of my mysterious illness came up. In 1986, with two small children, I became very ill. It's a long story, so I'll spare you the details. But during one of the hardest seasons of my life, I found myself in Psalm 57. It's a great psalm, and I held onto verse one throughout that storm, so much so that I'd have to say it is often my go-to verse.  Psalm 57:1 says this: Be merciful unto me O God, be merciful unto me for my soul trusts in thee and in the shadow of Your wings I will make my refuge until these calamities have passed by. Back then, I memorized it because I was literally too weak to hold up my Bible long enough to read it. ...

 Today is a good day to trust God, right? I mean, why not? He's brought us this far, and I'm totally convinced that He's not about to give up on us or leave us now! That's one of the things I love about serving God - knowing He won't abandon, reject, or forsake us. He remains faithful no matter what turns the caregiving journey takes.  God never says it's too bumpy, difficult, challenging, or ugly for Him. He just keeps walking alongside. Aren't you glad He didn't tell Daniel  I don't do lion's dens? What if God had told David that giants weren't His forte? God could have told any of our Bible heroes that avoidance was His specialty, but He didn't. It's a funny thought when we understand the nature and character of God.  Instead, God has continued to extend His grace, mercy, love, help, and hope to His people down through time. It's a continuum with absolutely no interruptions. Even Adam and Eve's grave disobedience and sin co...