Daily Devotions for Caregivers

I'm still reading Job and really enjoying it. One thing that is standing out in my mind is how his friends keep arguing that there is some sort of flaw in Job or he would not be in this terrible situation. I guess it stands out to me so much because I had people say these same types of things to me when I was very ill in 1986. (It's a long story I'll try to write somewhere else - but obviously I lived!) Job's "friends" attack his character each time they speak because they were trying to analyze it according to their own religious dogma. Yet all the way through Job maintains that he has not sinned to cause all the tragedy to come upon him. Isn't that among some of our first thoughts after a tragedy strikes and we try to settle into a new normal? In Job 13:15 Job makes one of the most faith-filled statements that is contained in scriptures. He states that even if God slays him - he will still trust Him. Some versions say still hope in Him.   While this...

David was a warrior who faced many battles. The warrior side of him is seen even when he was a youth and went out to face Goliath who was many times his own size. In 1 Samuel 17:28, it says that even after Goliath's lofty threats, David ran out to meet him. David would face many battles after that monumental day. But there would also come a day when he would have to encourage himself in the Lord. Sometimes it can seem like the caregiver's day is one battle after another; and like David, we must many times encourage ourselves in the Lord . It takes some kind of warrior to do that, don't you think? I know - most caregivers are not going to think of themselves as warriors! Our M.O. is more along the lines of well, we just do what we do. While that is true and we feel like we just put one foot in front of the other most of the time...we are doing much more than that. Let me explain. As a caregiver I have battled depression and that is not uncommon for us. But how many ti...

This week I decided to return to Job. It may sound odd to those most familiar with his story, but I was actually looking for some comfort. While his friends did not offer him much comfort or hope, my thinking was that by reading some of the things Job said I could gain a better perspective and find peace in dealing with the situation. So far, I haven't got past chapter 1. I hope we can take this journey through the book of Job together. The first thing that caught my attention was that Job was blameless, a man of integrity, and he stayed away from evil . (You do know that Job wrote the book, right? *smile*) The second thing that caught my attention was further down when Satan confronted God about Job. He said that God protected Job, his family and all of his possessions from harm. He suggested that if Job lost everything, he would curse God to His face. This is where I stopped for some inner reflections. As a caregiver, nothing is easy. Everything in our worlds have likely chan...

It is difficult to understand the life of caregiving unless you are a caregiver. And even then, each situation is so very unique we do not always have the capacity to understand each others' situations. Sometimes it hurts most when those we think are supposed to care do not seem to. That can be family, friends or health care professionals. It's really frustrating when they don't get it . You know? Sometimes one of the most frustrating things about caregiving is the inability to have a schedule. We can keep a shell of one, but it seems there's always something that comes along to disrupt it. Our loved one has a bad day, aides don't show up, nurses decide to come during the only time you were going to have to yourself for the week.... yes that really happened! And the load becomes heavier...not even because of the caregiving itself, but because of all the baggage that comes along with caregiving. This morning has been one of those mornings for me; made up of tho...

Did you ever have one of those days that when you thought it couldn't possibly get any worse, it did? Yesterday it was like that around here. I do not have to explain the wide range of horrible emotions that go through the caregiver's heart when they feel even for an instant that they missed something. We can feel like we do a very poor job - it does not matter if it's true or not. You see a sore, miss a feeding; it could be anything that just happens because even though caregivers are awesome - we must admit we are not perfect. On one hand we get this superman mentality like, if I can do this (caregiving), I must be able to do anything! This is accompanied by emotions from the other end of the spectrum that are associated with feeling like life is over for us. This is most likely the way it will be from here on out for many of us. Life as we knew it BC (before caregiving) is no more. The lifestyle we had may have slowly oozed away with the declining health of a loved on...

Things can pile up very quickly in the day of a caregiver; an aide cancels, your loved one is ill. There are tons of things that seem to need to be done just this instant and by noon you are already exhausted and have an entire day of chores that still need to be completed. When you realize you actually don't have time to attend an online Time Management seminar, you know it's pretty bad! Well that is just the tip of the iceberg for how the morning was here today. As I sipped the fresh coffee, I began praying and asking the Lord to carry me. For caregivers the day can just look too long sometimes. A brief mental search of scriptures brought nothing up so I fired up the computer after finishing a few important chores and didn't find one about Him carrying (although I am certain that He does because there are times like today when there is no strength...I know you understand.) The search then turned to Him catching me when I fall. The caregiver does not have to worry abo...

After yesterday's thoughts about how the Lord gives us patience, hope, peace and encouragement I looked at a few more scriptures along that line. (We may stay on this thought for awhile!) I ended up in John 14:27 where Jesus tells us I am leaving you with a gift; peace of mind and heart . And the peace I give isn't like the peace the world gives, so don't be troubled or afraid. (NLT) In this world today I am not sure we are aware of what it really feels to have peace of mind and heart. The world is in turmoil all around us and our lives as caregivers can be full of it. We can get up in the morning, have ourselves all together (emotions included) and something will occur to try and remove our peace. Perhaps an aide does not show up or there's a confrontation with a health provider who really does not want to do their job (or so it seems), or maybe it's just that our loved one is not having the best day - which means we do not either. But all of a sudden it can be ...

To be honest, many times because of my work load (which is in addition to caregiving) I do not always take the time to do a proper "devotion" in the mornings. I am sure other caregivers totally understand! And sometimes I do not write one here everyday although that was my intention when the blog was first setup. Some days I feel more like I need to find one than share one...but then comes the day I can crawl out of that all too familiar caregiver's fog we discussed before and scramble up some small bit of hope or encouragement that could be beneficial. This morning when I first woke up I had Romans 15:13 on my mind for some reason so I turned to it in my Bible and reread it. It says this: I pray that God, who gives you hope , will keep you happy and full of peace... I do not have to go around looking for hope since He gave it to me! But then, if you look at verse 5 of the same chapter, you will read this: May God, who gives you this patience and encouragement help y...

This morning as I was getting up to bolus my son and start getting prepared for the day, I was overwhelmed. Of course this is nothing new for the caregiver. Many times we've discussed here the long list of things that have to be done on a daily basis. (For those who may have missed it - it begins with bathing, laundry, feeding, transferring, range of motion exercises and so forth...) For someone who is not a caregiver, think about every single  thing you do in a day - now think about how it would be if you were not able to do any of it yourself. For the caregiver in many circumstances we must do all the daily living skills two times; once for ourselves and once for our loved one. Just caregiving on any given day can be overwhelming. Now add to all that additional trips to therapy and trying to make a living at home. (I am a freelance writer) This sort of describes where I was when I woke up this morning... simply overwhelmed. My mind went immediately to Psalm 61. It's a ...

One of my Facebook friends posted Psalm 18:2 on their wall early this morning so I pulled out my Bible with my morning cup of coffee and read through this familiar and favorite passage. I read over it a couple of times and then I just meditated on the first couple of verses. As I was reading and rereading and meditating my thoughts began to be focused on how He could be my rock and my fortress. David was on the battlefield when then was written and I am sure there were many times he crawled up into a rocky area and sought refuge and safety. Sometimes the life of a caregiver can parallel a battlefield as we are many times the only advocate our loved one has. It's a shame but lots of times I find myself battling for things that are included in his care plan; for the things and care my son is supposed to get anyway. God is indeed our rock during those times. But a fortress is a little bit different. When David is referring to a rock it could be interpreted a cave, or a solid pl...

Maybe it's just me, but there can be  a lot of fears in caregiving.I am afraid I will hurt my loved one (not purposefully of course), make a wrong decision or just mess something up. It's very difficult to make decisions on behalf of someone else...for me anyway! Then since I am a caregiver to my son I worry about what happens when I am gone? Who will care for him then? There are also concerns about getting older and how that looks now as opposed to BC (before caregiving). If we are not careful thoughts can overrun us and charge our emotions with fear. That's why this morning I turned my meditation to a scripture that I taught my kids when they were little. It's Psalm 56:3 and it simply says what time I am afraid, I will trust in You. It was written by an adult David while he was not faring too well in battle. What? David was afraid too? Is that possible? We are so conditioned to think that it is a grave sin to be afraid of anything - and so we tend to secretly shak...

Some days are easier to bear than others, for whatever reason. It could simply be our emotional state, how we feel physically, series of good or bad things that happen, or just dealing with the day to day grind of the caregiving situation. During the times we are stretched beyond our strength we can become tired inside and out! When weariness sets in there is really no one who can help but God! Ephesians 3:16 in the old King James Version of the Bible Paul prays that they will be strengthened with might by the Holy Spirit in the inner man. The New Living says that He gives you mighty inner strength through the Holy Spirit. Either way since we are believers, Holy Spirit is living in us and He can give us strength from the inside out. It must be part of the Holy Spirit's overall job description because in Acts when they were told to go wait for the Spirit, they were told that they would receive power from on high.  So it should not be surprising to know that He can fill us up wi...

Sometimes little phrases can carry a big punch. This morning as I was reading in 2 Corinthians these two words grew larger than life for me: we all . I know - it's just two words and they are found in verse 18 of chapter 3. But we all with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory just as from the Lord the Spirit. This verse and phrase stuck out to me as a caregiver this morning because sometimes we can feel like God's second class citizens. It can be easy to feel that way because we are so separated from the "rest of the world." It's not easy to get to "church" if we can go at all. And if we cannot play by their rules for the most part they just ignore us. It's not really their fault they just don't know how to minister to us, friend us, or love us from where we are. Some teach these passages here in 2 Corinthians as if they are only applying to the pastor, apos...

It can be quite the battle to keep from being cynical or hard for lots of people these days, but especially for those who are in a constant daily struggle. We can wonder where God is and if He is still watching us why some things happen. And add to that being abandoned by people we loved and trusted and you have the makings of an emotional mess. Then on top of all that - we have to deal with the crazy health system; some people who are just doing a job with no heart and some who are not even doing the job part! It can be so easy to just feel like we are mad at everyone and if we are not careful we can turn our "expectors" off...it's easier that way. In the midst of all the struggles we must endure each day there are times when we can feel like we suffer great loss. The lives we used to know and enjoy have passed away and many are prisoners in their own home...or that's the way it feels sometimes. Some days we count these losses; others we adjust and smile and just t...

As a runner I view this commonly used scripture differently. I have run just enough miles (only about 500 this year so far) to know that there are certain spots that weariness can set in an stop you if you let it. Well, as a caregiver this morning I became weary and this scripture came to mind. But as I thought about how weary I was and what it means to wait on the Lord so that He could renew my strength my mind went to the preceding verses so I decided to look it up and read it once again. The verses just before this most quoted one talk about young people growing weary and tired; of vigourous young men falling terribly. That's in verse 30. And back up one more verse to Isaiah 40:29 and it says that He  gives strength to the weary. and that He increases power to him who lacks might. When we were younger we thought we were invincible. We drove fast and took all sorts of crazy chances because "bad" things were not going to happen to us. And maybe sometimes we still t...

 Take a second and think about all the things you did yesterday... Now think about all the things you have to complete yet today... Does it make you tired just thinking about it? Caregiving can be physically draining; and we can easily just be physically tired. But the trouble is that it is also emotionally draining.Then we are "two" tired. Our body feels like we are dragging ourselves around to complete all the necessary tasks that must be accomplished in a day...and then we have to handle the entire situation emotionally as well. There may be better days where things go smoothly, aides show up and supplies arrive on time...but there are always those times where decisions have to be made for someone else and it can wear us down...and we become two tired- body and soul. And then the real trouble begins when we get three tired: body, soul and spirit. Not only do we have to take care of a whole other person while trying to maintain our own health and well being we can wonder...

One of the things caregivers can miss the most is just living. That spontaneity of being able to decide on a moment's notice that you want to go to a movie, or run to the mall. The caregiver most times really does not have that option. We can miss the things we used to enjoy, like hiking or shopping; or just going to church. For the most part we finally get used to just staying home - but that doesn't mean our freedom isn't missed. Somehow for me, when I can find someone in scripture who I at least think understands in some measure it can bring peace. Paul made what I feel is a very interesting statement in Acts 20:22-24. He said that Holy Spirit had told him that he was going to face afflictions and imprisonment in every city. He didn't hang his head and cry about all his losses (like I do!); he said this instead: But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, ...

Did you ever turn around in the middle of the afternoon and wonder where the day has gone so fast? When everything works like it should, a day can be hectic. Supplies come in, meals get delivered, aides actually show up; the front door just keeps swinging some days. It's a good thing, but it can sure be like a whirlwind sometimes, especially if you factor in all the other daily caregiving that is not optional. If we are not careful a day can get away from us and we are left scratching our heads wondering which way it went. Yesterday was like that around here and so when I found Psalm 131:2 this morning during my morning devotions it brought a quiet in my soul that was much needed. The psalmist said, But I have stilled and quieted myself just as a small child is quiet with his mother... And then he goes on in the last verse to say his hope is in the Lord. What stood out to me here was that the psalmist said he quieted himself ...he quieted his own soul before the Lord by remind...

As a caregiver life can be ambiguous in that we are certain that we are uncertain. But this week in my studies I found that we are in very good company.I frequently read Psalm 119 as I find it very encouraging and it always points my heart back to His word. This week a couple of  verses in particular caught my attention. In verses 27 and 28 (NLT) the psalmist has that sort of ambiguous tone. The end of verse 27 states I will meditate on your wonderful miracles ; but the very next verse starts with I weep with grief ...And of course true to David's nature he has these two phrases sandwiched between thoughts about the Word. I found that sometimes this oddity describes the way we can feel. On the one hand, we are so thankful for all that God has done.We have done several devotions about being thankful in the midst of our furnace where we take time to purposefully find things (some days are more difficult than others) to thank Him for. Thankful for small progresses or that the aide...

It is very important for caregivers to try to find the positive things to rejoice in each day. We can rejoice in any small improvement in our loved one we are caring for, be glad the aide actually showed up to help, rejoice that at least the few necessities that are provided and covered by insurance showed up, or be thankful for a call or visit from a friend. Although the battle can be difficult, small things can help lighten our load on many days. There are those days where we just struggle - with everything . And some days we just get through. After a series of days, weeks, months of just trying to get through yesterday one of my favorite worship leaders posted a new song he had written. It is called, "When I Worship You." It was the song of the day for sure. I played it over and over. It's on the front page of his website if you want to check it out: www.dennisjernigan.com The phrase that stuck out to me yesterday was about Him being with me. Somehow that simple th...

It can be the same day-in and day-out for caregivers. There are generally a lot of comments on Facebook on Friday's about being glad it's the "weekend," and on Monday's you see all the posts about how horrid Monday's are. But for the caregiver it really means nothing most of the time as most days are the same; over and over and over again! Do you ever just get tired? (Of course I ask this knowing that we do!) For me it is comforting to know that He never gets tired. Right now in my very small circle of friends I know people who are in pain, a family who lost 2 family members in a day - one was their son, a bicyclist who was run over by a car this weekend, a person with a brain tumor, people with cancer, and that's just the beginning. The sad part is there are not many "church" people reaching out to these in pain. Why? As a general rule they are good at lending a hand in an emergency - but there is no endurance for the long hauls that many peo...

Do you ever feel that way? Sometimes our days can be so very busy with all the tasks that must be done to take care of our loved ones that the weight of those responsibilities and our emotions can make us feel that way. We cannot wait until the emotions drag us down to the depths of despair because it is a very difficult climb out. I am finding that as soon as I feel overwhelmed I must take action so that depression does not get a hold on my emotions. Once they take you under - it's a long climb out! The second emotions start firing at you and trying to drag you under is when you have to stop it. That sounds really easy - but in reality it's a whole struggle in itself. But we can do this. This morning I encouraged myself with Psalm 121. The psalmist is looking for his source of help. Where does my help come from? There are days that it seems there is no help for us. But we, like the psalmist, must lift our eyes to answer our own question - My help comes from the Lord! He is...

There is no way to describe all the things that may pass through a caregiver's mind in a given day. There are many thoughts about all the tasks that must be completed in the day, dealing with various health care personnel, as well as thoughts about the future. And there are the same daily chores of dealing with finances, work and family that non-caregivers must deal with too. If we are not careful our minds can get away from us. For many of us that may mean a lot of fear, dread or even depression. Thankfully, there is a way to defeat the types of thoughts that try to drag us down emotions first. There is an interesting passage in Philippians 4 that has helped me keep myself in the right state of mind. Honestly, some days are easier than others because we live in a situation that doesn't have a "hold" button. There is no pausing in caregiving; some days it is literally putting one foot in front of the other to get through the day. Our minds can work against us - or w...

It's funny how a tiny ray of hope can change everything. Proverbs 13:12 says that when hope is deferred  or delayed it makes the heart sick. That's pretty serious because when we get to the point that our heart is sick, our soul is not well then we are in a troubled condition. Personally, I can say that when those dark times swing around and I begin to lose hope it makes it very difficult for me to deal with everyday stuff. I call it tired from the inside out. Not only is it a terrible place to be - it's very difficult to try to get out of as well. But let just a tiny ray of hope shine into a situation that's been darkened by life - and Bam! Everything changes. Romans 15:13 is a prayer that the apostle Paul is sending out for the Christians in Rome. He prays that the God of hope will keep them in peace and that He will make them overflow with hope through Holy Spirit's power. Hope is one of the three things that will endure according to 1 Corinthians 13:13.  And...

Have you ever just wanted to give up? I mean, face it  - life can be tough especially when you are faced with daily challenges and adversity. But if giving up was a real option - What would you give up to? We really are not alone when we've had all we think we can handle. For many of my acquaintances our days are filled with pain in one way or another. Some of my friends live in constant physical pain and then there are many who like me, and other caregivers, have this nagging emotional pain that does not ever go away. Either way it's pain on a very high level.And there are days it does not seem worth it to go on. We are not alone! In Jeremiah 20 we find that he had been beaten and placed in prison in stocks - only for speaking God's words. He must have been in every kind of pain imaginable. His body hurt from the intense beating, his soul hurt and even his spirit was in pain as he cried out I will not remember Him or speak anymore in His name ...Jeremiah really wanted ...

I do not have to describe the huge emotional swings caregivers can experience even in a matter of minutes. And when we do have those moments when we are really down - who is there to help us up? Sadly, many of us suffer silently and alone. This just makes the process of working ourselves back out into some sort of hope - even more difficult. But it's do-able... To be totally honest - I have been on the downward side of things of late. It's been more difficult than usual to try to get my head back up above water so I could breathe again. And I think I still have a ways to go. This morning I was thinking of Psalm 13 - O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever? (It is somewhat comforting to see that a person He used to write the Bible felt the same way I do!) How long will You look the other way? How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day? How long will my enemy have the upper hand? (NLT) I can honestly say I feel this way during thos...

This morning I was reading Romans 8 about the different callings in the body of Christ. My mind took off on some adventurous thoughts about how that works from here. Our thinking can become very clouded by circumstances. This is only because we tend to view our callings and our gifts from the setting inside the modern church. This can be detrimental in many ways...our gifts and callings did not disappear when tragedy came our way- it's in our spiritual DNA. Think for a few minutes about Joseph - one of our heroes! He had dreams as a child. I am sure they seemed far away from the prison cell he was being unjustly held in. But God never changed His mind. Honestly dealing with the callings on my life has been one of the most difficult things to deal with - me trying to figure out how God was going to pull it off. But He can use adversity to His advantage and for His purpose. Turmoil and trouble do not interrupt His plan or purpose. It may just look differently than we thought it wo...

Do the days all start to feel the same sometimes? Each day has the same list of tasks that the caregiver has to perform. I see people glad it's Friday, or can't wait until the weekend. But most of the time one day is just like another for the caregiver and the chores really do not change much from day to day. Weekends or holidays are pretty much the same except maybe there will be no aide to help. If we are not careful we can slip into this boring existence and can live on the edge (or in the middle of) burnout. That's when we must be extra careful about what we say. I remember when I was younger I would go visit my grandmother in the nursing home and all she would do is gripe about how we didn't come to see her often enough. Although I knew that was true it always made for a very unpleasant experience and I dreaded going to see her and sadly even avoided it when I could. Personally, I do not want to become that person. If we are not careful we can get so caught up in...

Sometimes it seems like we can be so cut off from the rest of the world. We just have to face it - our lives are different . We cannot always come and go like others. It's not always possible to just jump up and run to the store just because a necessary item is running low. Trust me - it even takes careful planning to not run out of toilet paper and trash bags! Many times the caregiver may feel like we live in a cave and totally separate from the rest of the world. For many, going to church regularly, or even at all, is out of the question. This morning I was reading Romans 14 and came to verse 17 which says this: the kingdom of God is righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. I found this very comforting. We are not missing out on the Kingdom of God just because we live separate lives. Actually, we may be closer to the Kingdom than many common church goers . These three things righteousness, peace and joy are ours because we not only live in the Kingdom - but the Kingd...

For years I have taught about entering into His rest. I've said that striving to enter His rest is the only work we should be doing.Lately it seems that this topic keeps coming back up. But for those of us who live in a world without natural rest - how are we supposed to enter His rest? For the caregiver there is barely time to turn around. Many of us live with a constant soul pain because the internal pains associated with the level of loss just do not cease. Plus there are the day to day struggles that just plain caregiving brings. How are we supposed to enter His rest from here? I love Hebrews 4 on this topic. And specifically, verse 7 sticks out in my mind today. It says that He fixed a day - today. He was pleading for His children to enter into His rest on that fixed today way back in Exodus 17; and then repeated the "today"in Psalm 95. And now it's another today here in Hebrews4. He fixed today so that it is always the today we are looking for. so today ...

When my son had his vehicle accident he was in ICU for about 3.5 weeks. Since I was from out of town I just set up camp in the ICU waiting room.One morning when I was there alone for some reason Psalm 121 came to mind. I realized that although my son was at the time getting very good medical care, the medical staff was not where my help was coming from. The nurses or doctors were not my source of help but the Lord was my helper. Psalm 121:2 says my help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth. It goes on to say that He is always on watch - never sleeps. And furthermore He is also our keeper (v.5) and even our protector (v.7) However, it says He is the protector and keeper of our soul ...He keeps and protects that part of us that makes us - us. When life around us seems to be in turmoil - He will keep us. It's comforting to someone like me who messes up a lot that He will not throw us away. No situation gets so out-of-hand that He walks away. He will continue to keep, p...

We have no need to rehearse any or all of the reasons that caregivers become tired. After months of cargiving there can be a weariness that sets in. It's more than the body simply being tired - it's a soul tired. That covers the mind, will and emotions. Sometimes we can be too tired to feel, too tired to think and we just go on functioning because we're breathing basically. There seems to be no where to take a breath or a break; and the daily duties certainly won't wait for us to stop for any amount of time. What do you do when you get soul tired ? The answer, of course, is to Come to Him. Jesus offered strength for the soul when we come to Him. In Matthew 11:28-30 Jesus offers this rest. He bids us who are weary  and those who are heavy laden (burdened) to come to Him for rest.Then He goes on to speak of how gentle and humble He is. Somehow there is comfort in trusting in His gentleness and humility. And from His gentle and humble state He offers us rest for our so...

Do you ever feel like others don't have the time to deal with you? I know the world is a busy place and it is no different for the caregiver; but wouldn't it be nice if someone had a few minutes to share a cup of coffee with you?  Aides do not come even though they are scheduled because they had something more important  to do. They do not say it that way - but that's the raw truth. And getting someone to sit for a couple hours here and there (even for pay) can be difficult because it seems that everyone already has plans. Many times it adds to the solitude of the cave - that feeling that you can't get out - And yet at the same time it's easier to just adjust to being in the cave than it is to try to find someone to help...because it seems no one has time.   There are days where it seems like we ourselves do not have time to turn around twice. The chores and tasks associated with caregiving can easily suck a day away. We must feed, bathe, and transfer our loved ...

Trying to view God through the pain everyday brings can be so very difficult for the caregiver. This is partly due to the fact that the pain we are in never really goes away. Our hearts are always crying as we see our loved ones as they are...and not how, or even who, they used to be. It's heart wrenching and there is no rest from the pain. If we are not careful this can cloud our view of God; and foster many questions. lots of whys... Job managed to see God through the pain and in the midst of heart wrenching circumstances. When at first all of his children were snatched away in just one day he fell to his knees and cried out to God in worship. I do not think he sang any of our nice little choruses we have today, nor did he sing a hymn. The turning to God in the pain  was the act of worship. It's so easy to do the opposite sometimes. Then later in Job when his own body was in intense pain and agony he made a statement that baffles me. He said even though God slays me - ...

Benaiah got a whole 4 verses in the Bible, but this dude was a warrior of warriors. He actually earned himself the position of being over King David's bodyguard. How? Well in just this short passage we find out that he did several phenomenal things. He killed 2 of Moab's best warriors. He also went into hand-to-hand with an Egyptian warrior; the thing was that Benaiah only had a club and the Egyptian warrior had a sword. I guess Benaiah decided he'd rather fight with the sword so he took the sword away from the Egyptian and used it to kill him. There's no disgrace like being killed with your own sword! But the thing that I find most intriguing about Benaiah is that he killed a lion. That is enough when you think about the lack of technological and tactical weaponry back then. But he had other factors. Not only was he facing a lion (the king of the jungle!) he was in a pit; and besides that it was snowy which means no place for a good foothold. That's all admirable...

Psalm 121 is a wonderful reminder of how He keeps us. It is not the health professionals who are our helper or keeper - it is the Lord. They can perform some wonderful services, but it is and will always be God who keeps us. As I reread this psalm yesterday I thought of my caregiving journey. As many, it had a traumatic start and has been a rather long one so far. But my thoughts went to how He has not failed to carry me. There have certainly been times that I have been angry at God; times when my faith faltered greatly. But He has not failed to hold me even when my faith didn't hold up. He is the keeper of my soul . There is absolutely nothing that can harm the eternal part of me - He will hold me and keep me hidden in Himself. These types of circumstances that makes caregivers out of us can definitely try our faith. There can be so many questions from the start - and really no answers to be found. This can be so very frustrating especially at a time when you feel your "...

I am so glad that we have a consistent God. He does not change with the winds of time; He never lacks strength or gets tired!...on the other hand - I do get tired, change and lack strength. Some nights I am ready to go to bed long before there is any chance of getting there. Other nights I am still up into the wee hours of the morning working on a project or something.  God is constant. That is such a comfort to me in a world where everything can change in a second. This is why I was so excited when I came across Colossians 3 in my readings this morning. Toward the end of the chapter Paul is talking about family and work relations. He is not talking to "church workers." Verse 23 he admonished the Christians to do their work heartily for the Lord, instead of for men. And goes on at the end of verse 24 to say that no matter what type of "work" we are doing - it is Christ that we serve. Today as you go about the normal (if there is anything "normal" in y...

In 1 Samuel 30 the psalmist king David had found himself in a terrible spot. He had been running from Saul for years and had joined up with the Philistines. Remember them? They are the ones who sent out Goliath way back when David was just a kid. And now David found himself on their side of the field. Funny how ironic life can be.  The trouble was that because of David's history of killing their giants and such, he was not to be trusted; or so they thought. Imagine this: they are on the verge of a historic battle and the warrior David has a hand itching that wants to grab a sword and go help them out. But their leadership told him that he could not go. Not so much because they didn't trust him; but the other soldiers might feel like they needed to watch their back with him on the battle field. They were still scared of him. They were also concerned that he would not be able to fight against his own people. They knew his heart. So David begins his journey back to Ziklag. He...

Some days it seems we can have it all together. Everything is going along good, emotions are intact, and the day overall just isn't bad. And then outta nowhere....someone says something about faith that makes it sound like you don't have any since you are in adverse circumstances. Is it just me, or does it happen to you too? I'm beginning to think that faith is a little like courage; if there isn't some challenge to address it doesn't really count.   When the statement occurred I was flooded with questions and hopelessness tried to swallow me up. Because if it all relies on me - what I believe - what I say - what I can change with my attitude - then what is my faith in : myself. True faith believes period. The fact that we are still clinging on to Him even when everything around us does not seem to make any sense at all, or doesn't seem to be changing at all is the deepest faith - not the lack of faith. I must say that I do not have any confidence in myself...

Yesterday we looked at Ephesians where Paul told the Christians to stand. Today let's check out Psalm 31:24. The psalmist says this: be strong and let your heart take courage, all you who hope in the Lord. I think this will be my motto today: I will be strong. That really sounds funny to me as a caregiver - like there's really an option! lol! It seems like there's a choice being given here: be strong - or don't. The understood subject is "you" - you be strong . That's just the first part of the psalmist's instructions. He goes on to say let your heart take courage. This implies another choice. We can let our heart take courage or reject it. Today we must trust that He is giving us His strength to walk this journey; and He will encourage our hearts - if we let Him. Think about allowing His strength and courage to take over the space in your heart today.Allow His peace to walk you through whatever you may face today.

When we wake up in the morning we never know what a day is going to bring. Each day is filled with much uncertainty. Some days it feels like everything is a fight. You know? Trying to get aides who come on time - or show up period, dealing with government agencies and various types of health care providers can be draining. And of course all of that is on top of the difficulty of taking care of another. Do you ever just get tired of fighting? I know I do. It can feel like we are struggling uphill simply trying to get others to do their jobs so we can do ours. Sorry I do not have a check list of how to make those sorts of things go smoother or faster! (Don't you know I wish I did!!?) But here's what I am thinking today. If you get tired of fighting and struggling; just stand. In Ephesians 6 the apostle Paul told the church to stand. He did not tell them to progress, to struggle, to fight or to do anything else at all. He just said when you have done all , stand firm . (Eph...

Do you ever wish life had a "delete" button? Maybe even a "do over" button would be nice occasionally. There are times I feel like if I could do some things over I would either change the way I did them or not do them at all! Isn't it amazing that God does not feel that way... ever! He never wishes He did something differently; and never hopes for do-overs. He knew everything would happen the way it has. He knew my faith would falter when great tragedy struck. He also knew of the times I would be angry with Him and silent before Him. He even knew I would question His existence. Actually, He knew every single question and doubt that would enter my heart and mind in the face of tragedy... but He did not give up on me! He did not cast me away and mutter words of disgust. He simply waited until I came back to the point where I could not live without His touch in my life. Caregiving can place different levels of demand on us depending on the particular situatio...

One of the difficult parts of being a caregiver is being separated from the mainstream. There are many times that we can feel very alone. And this alone-ness can eat away at your soul. You can feel very disconnected from friends and even family as time goes by. It's not always an every day thing but there are certainly periods of time that you can feel this deep loneliness.It's not really anybody's fault - they mostly just do not know what to do with us since our lives are so different. But we are a part of something much bigger. Ephesians 2:19 says this you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and are of God's household... Somehow even in the loneliness there is comfort in knowing that we are a part of His household. We are not separated from God nor the true body of Christ. If we think about how huge His household must be it helps to bring comfort and wash away a small bit of the alone-ness. We think of our household as t...

For caregivers each day can bring with it many decisions that must be made. These are difficult enough when making them for ourselves, but for those who are taking care of someone else they can be quite frustrating and even more difficult. While we cannot always look up word for word what we should do in each situation, we can turn to scripture for wisdom. Proverbs 2:6 states this: The Lord gives wisdom. From His mouth come knowledge and understanding. That just about covers it all really. He will give us wisdom. James chapter one says that He gives wisdom to those who ask of Him. That part is actually pretty simple. What makes it difficult is waiting on His answers. We tend to ask for wisdom and then try to walk on in our own strength. Wisdom is not impatient and sometimes it dictates that we do not make decisions too hastily. We can ask - and He will give us the wisdom to walk through difficult days and make difficult decisions. The other part of this verse says that from His mo...

The life of a caregiver does not include enough time to get bored. And although the loneliness can chip away at our soul, there are never two days alike and plenty of chores that simply must be done every single day to keep us plenty busy. Sometimes I look at how much I need to get done in a day and wonder if I will make it. Many times I wonder what it is that God wants from me... from here. Life looks so different now. Years have been spent doing the religious things and sadly enough it seems I am so guilty of mistaking those activities for relationship. But these circumstances did not take Him by surprise - He sort of planned ahead for them. In Psalm 97 there are a couple of very interesting points. Verse 10 reminds us that we are to hate evil and love God. There are no stipulations for when times get tough or situations change; it's always the same. But the next part of verse 10 says that He preserves the souls (not the bodies)  of His godly ones; He delivers them from the ha...

As caregivers some days are better than others; as with life itself. Some days it's easy to find that groove and stay on schedule to get everything completed. And then there are days where it seems like everything just piles up on top of you. We carry a constant load; even on our best days - or our infrequent days out - it remains the same. Some days we can simply take in stride and then other days little things pile up. (The aide doesn't show up and you planned on running to the grocery store, to the bank to deposit a check for covering expenses, or to the pharmacy to fill prescriptions. Or you plan a day out and the person who is supposed to watch your loved one bails on you at the last minute.) Any little thing can topple us on any given day...and it can all add up to a much heavier load emotionally. But it's okay. We are like the energizer bunny..we just keep going and going and going...you do not get to stop being a caregiver. So how do we deal with the day to day ...

As a caregiver, you know those mornings when you just wake up tired. It may be after a sleepless night or having to get up all through the night to care for your loved one; but you just wake up already tired before the day has even begun. Those days you feel like you'll never have strength again and it feels like you've just always been tired. When I have those nights where sleep was constantly disrupted, my thoughts go to Isaiah 40:28. The prophet asks this question:  Do you not know? Have you not heart?  Have I heard what? The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth... does not become weary or tired. Isaiah takes his readers through three descriptions of our Father: God, Lord and Creator . And then he reminds us that God does not get tired or  weary! He never runs down and never rolls His eyes - no matter what my day brings His way. He is constantly watching over us to shield us with His grace and protect our hearts with His peace. I am so ...

It is interesting to me that Jesus promised that when He left this earthly realm He would send a comforter. The Greek indicates someone who will walk alongside you, someone to stay right by your side to help and comfort you along the way. Why didn't He send a healer ? I know that God heals, there is no doubt about that - why didn't Jesus use any of the other names of God when speaking of the Holy Spirit's indwelling? He could have send He was sending a healer, provider, a peace maker or a way maker. God certainly does all of those things through the work of Holy Spirit here on earth. But Jesus chose instead to refer to Holy Spirit as comforter, teacher and guide in John 14-15. The fact that Jesus started John 14 with do not let your heart be troubled and then repeated it again in verse 27 of the same chapter indicates there would probably be some things arise in the apostle's lives that would be unsettling or troublesome. Jesus indicates that Holy Spirit will teach...

I heard a chorus last week that had this phrase in it: brokenness that separates . It really made me think of a lot of different aspects of brokenness and I came to the conclusion that there are two kinds of brokenness, and I am acquainted with both of them. There is a brokenness that God is near - the kind that says, Lord, I am broken before You and I need you. But there is a time when we are broken and in our self-preservation we draw away from Him. It is not a bad thing to be broken before Him in humility. This is the type of brokenness that He is near, this is when we can come to Him bleeding and needing help. But the other brokenness is sustained by our departure from His presence. This separation comes as we try to hold on to the hurts in our lives and not release them to Him and allow Him to mend. I have experienced this kind of broken - the kind that makes you mad and so you withdraw from Him in anger. I did not understand why these things had to happen (my son's autom...

Jeremiah is sometimes called the weeping prophet. To many he seems to be a very big whiner. But he carried such a passionate burden for the people of God that he wept much of the time. If you briefly turn through the pages of Jeremiah you will find some very harsh things God had to say to his people. And besides obeying God and having to speak to His people in such a manner, he was imprisoned and persecuted. Lamentations gives us a closer look into the tender heart of this prophet. (Yes, a prophet does have a tender side!) He wept over the disobedience of his own people and he did not understand why they didn't just obey God. I am sure when he was mercilessly thrown into the mucky pit he wondered if his life was over. He was left to sink in the muddy mess and basically left for dead. Do you think he ever questioned God's call on his life? As a caregiver and the huge life changes that role brought I have found myself questioning God about many things. But in Lamentations 3:1...