Daily Devotions for Caregivers

Last night I couldn't sleep, so I picked up my Bible and thought I'd read a bit. I naturally gravitate toward the Psalms, so I just started reading some of the verses I had underlined. I was in Psalm 9 reading where David is talking about God being a shelter for the oppressed. Sometimes it can feel like life itself is oppressing for caregivers with pressure on every side. I read on down through verse 10 where David says the Lord has never  abandoned anyone who searches for Him. I thought about that a little bit before I continued to read on. Soon, I found myself in Psalm 10 which starts out with O Lord, why do You stand so far away? Why do You hide when I need You the most?   I was thinking, "Is this the same guy? Is this the king or the shepherd? I thought back on what he'd said so confidently in Psalm 9. Then I remembered a favorite from Psalm 46. This same David said God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. (NLT) It sure seems ...

Chris seems to have picked up a virus that's been going around. It's so difficult when he's sick because it can lead to so many other issues. For instance, if he aspirates, it can mean a lengthy hospital stay. I can do nothing to prevent it - all I can do is take the night watch so to speak. Needless to say, times like these, fear abounds. The church world can be quick to condemn this statement even though I think David was pretty clear about many of his fears. Paul also said they had  conflicts without and fears within.  (2 Corinthians 7:5) Much better, in my opinion, to acknowledge and address than to ignore and suppress. David had to be afraid for his life at some points. Saul was in hot pursuit with his armies. They were trying to track David down and take away the threat to Saul's kingdom. I think that's what the enemy of our soul's intent is too. Our enemy would like to quiet us, sit us down, and watch us hide in a cave if he could keep us quiet. May...

I dislike Hallmark movies. They paint a picture of romance and freedom that are very foreign to me and my life. The unreal depiction of life and false hopes of everything working out alright  is what I really cannot handle. Everything doesn't  always work out alright. Every storm is not temporary, especially for caregivers. Long days turn into long weeks and longer months that eventually bring us back around to the holidays. But it's certainly not picture-perfect. Take, for instance, this picture of my mom and aunt. It's so cute!! My mom is 78 and her sister is 86. I snagged this photo when they were greeting each other. What you don't see behind the cute picture is that my aunt could barely stand - I actually had one hand on her and one on the phone. She was so stooped they had a difficult time even hugging one another. However, they were so excited to see each other as they are living in two facilities in two different towns. We honestly do not know if they will g...

As caregivers, there can be a lot of things we struggle with, things that are often difficult to talk about. It can be hard to know where to put our emotions. We oftentimes feel like we cannot share what's really going on in our heads because our thoughts are so well, all over the place.  (Maybe that's just me!) Lately, I've settled a few issues with my own heart and begun to sing again. That's huge. You know how I love the caregiver's cave. We can all get comfortable there, can't we? There are two things that pulled me out of the musicless part of the cave. One, I found my grandmother's handwritten music scores from the '40s in some of my aunt's things. Secondly, we had to move her piano to our house. It's in the living room... in my face all day long begging to be played. When everyone is gone but Chris and me - I play my heart out and lift up my voice to Him once again. It's been refreshing. I like it now because it's personal, jus...

Medical science has embraced yoga and meditation for the benefits they confer on seniors and their caregivers. Doctors in increasing numbers are recommending yoga to their patients over 50 to help reduce blood pressure, relieve pain, and improve balance. Seniors who are initially skeptical often find the benefits of yoga and meditation can help them in ways they never imagined. Older adults frequently find yoga improves muscle and joint flexibility , enhances their mood, and alleviates stress and anxiety. And while elderly bodies aren’t always up to the physical discipline of yoga, its tremendous mental and emotional value can still be derived from classes adapted to the physical restrictions that often limit a senior’s movements. Consult your physician Always use common sense if you’re a senior getting started with yoga. Consult your physician if you’re a cardiac patient, have undergone surgery, or are taking medications. If you have osteoporosis , be aware there are certa...

Sorry for the long absence. I'm really still in the process of getting myself back together. Honestly, I've been on overload and as the end of the year draws close, there are some things I want to accomplish. I also want to set some goals for next year and that partially includes being more faithful to keep up this blog. In the back of my mind, I know you understand. You're caregivers - I know you "get it." I know you understand the tired that is beyond exhaustion that transcends body and soul. You understand ongoing grief the rest of the world often condemns us for - telling us to just get over it. You know what I really mean by having a too full plate because you are probably juggling just like me. Maybe even more than me! Emotionally I've been spent. I don't do well with changes and in the last few months we moved (which was a good thing) and that changed literally everything in my life and routines. Please forgive me for going MIA during the adju...

Some days it's all a caregiver can do to just keep breathing. I tease a lot about trying to remember to breathe and keeping that a top priority. But sometimes it really does feel like the life is being sucked out of you. Of course, there are many blessings that go with caregiving, but some days they are harder to find than others. No matter what our caregiving story - it's filled with difficulties. I try to keep a positive attitude but that's a fight at times. This morning, in an attempt to protect my sanity I decided to start trying to journal again. I am glad I did as I hadn't made an entry since June. (I used to write in my journal everyday BC.) I found this poem I had penned. I hope you get a little something out of it. Who am I to catch the King's gaze? To know...     He sees    He Knows    He hears The deepest sighs from the place where no words live The part of me that carries it all... with nothing left to give. The part of me where no...

Caregivers are not the only ones in the press of life. I've been watching the horrific stories emerging out of the raging fires in California. My prayers have been many for those who are suffering during this time. Suffering has a unique impact on us, no matter what the source. It lets us know what's really inside. In James chapter 1, it says to count it all joy   when you encounter trials and tribulations. JOY?  To be totally honest, joy isn't the first emotion I usually feel when things get tough. Joy may eventually come - but certainly not at the onset of trials and tribulations. As a caregiver, we live  in a rough spot. Nothing is easy. Literally everything can feel like a struggle. Life has a way of pressing, pressing, and pressing in on us until it's a struggle some days to just breathe. But as life presses in on us - no matter what the struggle, it presses out what is really inside. When life turns up the heat, we find out how much we really trust Him, h...

This weekend I used some respite days for Chris and got out for the weekend. We took my grandson to Fort Worth for his birthday. While we were in Cowtown Saturday afternoon, we stopped by one of our favorite little shops. It has a variety of teas and teapots. We were standing around admiring the beautiful shapes, colors, and designs when my grandson tried to remove the lid from this little green leafy pot. The lid fell to the floor and shattered into several pieces. It was a sickening sound and of course, my daughter immediately told the store manager that she would purchase it. Even though we liked it, we didn't plan on buying it. Once we got it home, Ronella glued the lid together and sat it on the shelf with some of our decorative teapots. When I saw the repaired container, I thought you can't even tell it's broken from here.  I let my imagination run away a bit as I thought of this pot's story. It sat in the store - beautiful, but unpurchased. Even though many...

Please forgive my absence. If anyone understands, I know it's my fellow caregivers. I know you understand the more than busy  mode we live in. Each day brings with it a long must-do list and an even longer still-need-to-do-when-there-is-time list. In the busy-ness of caregiving and fulfilling all our responsibilities we often feel overwhelmed. It's not always anything anyone can help with, and sometimes we can't even list it... it just hangs there overshadowing our days. The feelings of never getting done and simply surviving leave us looking for a satisfaction that may or may not ever be found. Somehow in the midst of the hectic life we learn to call normal , we learn what can be let go and what cannot. It's easy to feel like our time is stolen from us as we get wrapped up in our daily tasks Maybe it's just me, but no matter how much I do  get done, I still feel behind. Attempts to sort through and find the important  things to get done leave you with a list of...

Yesterday, I had scheduled the piano movers to move my aunt's piano into her assisted living apartment. She was so excited! She's been there for a couple of weeks now and has had access to a central piano, but missed having one close by that she could play whenever she wanted. As soon as the movers were gone, I asked her to try it out. She sat and played for some time. Tears welled up from pure joy at having her piano back. She's finally home. As I watched her frail, trembling hands run across the keys, I became absorbed in the moment. She's still playing after all these years. Her fingers may not be as nimble as they once were, but she can still tickle the ivory with style and pizzaz. She never lacks for a song to play - there's always one near the surface of her heart. It was a moment I didn't want to miss. There was just something special about it. It seemed like I was r\witnessing the reunion of two old friends. At 86 there's no doubt she's i...

As the 10th anniversary of Chris' wreck nears, I have tons of thoughts. There are no easy days, but some days are less difficult than others. Here I am 10 years out celebrating Chris standing or sitting alone. I really thought I'd be celebrating his marriage or births of grandchildren. These thoughts can weigh heavily on my heart. Sometimes, I have to stay away from Facebook because it's overwhelming. I've been in one of those times  lately. What do we do when we are disappointed with life, ourselves, or our situations? Many of the things I dreamed of doing are not likely to ever happen. Everything got placed on hold nearly 10 years ago. How do you move on? The simplest answer is one step at a time. That's a daily thing. Sometimes, it's a moment by moment thing - just doing what needs to be done in the moment. This morning in my personal devotions, I found myself hanging out in Isaiah 50. I have quoted verse 4 for years -  The Lord has given me His words o...

Do you ever feel like God put you here on this planet to sort everything out and then He just walked away? Caregiver's lives are not in sync with the rest of the world and we can feel separated and alone even in a crowd. Caregiving adds a new dynamic to life, doesn't it? It's one that can't really be described. It's draining and rewarding. Tiring and energizing. Emotions run along all extremes much of the time and many battle with depression, grief and other issues. I have to say that recently I have asked God if He remembered where He left me. Now my heart knows He didn't really leave me. I mean, really - where would He go? He's everywhere - He can't physically leave us. But for those who struggle with abandonment issues, it can certainly feel like it. Evidently, someone else has had similar feelings because in verse 14 of Isaiah 49, it says Jerusalem says, "the Lord has deserted us, the Lord has forgotten us."   But at the thought of ab...

If anyone understands the busy-ness of a caregiver's world, it's other caregivers. Using the word busy  is possibly an understatement. We certainly have our hands full, all four of them. lol. I remind myself of this as I try to return to being more regular with this blog. The move is behind us, my aunt is in an assisted living facility. So now I am a full-time caregiver for my son as well as a long-distance caregiver for my aunt. These are two very different dynamics. But we press on. I've struggled with feelings of inadequacies and learned that sometimes I really can't do it all. Evidently, I misplaced my cape. Smile so did you, Superman! The last few days I've been in prayer about the "call" God placed on my life. I have struggled so much with what I thought  that was going to look like. Finally, I just put in His hands and asked Him to tell me what to do. So, this morning when I opened my Bible to Isaiah 49 I found myself. Isaiah starts this c...

We've probably all heard Psalm 30:5. Weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning.  This phrase, obviously taken from the Bible, along with other phrases and sayings meant to encourage, often seems to fall short. For caregivers, there's no guarantee morning is going to come. So, what if it waits? How do we endure the dark night of the soul described by Oswald Chambers? Besides scriptures, people have these sayings that really do not apply in many caregiving situations. You may have heard some things like: storms don't last forever seasons always change nothing lasts forever there's an end in sight it's always darkest before the dawn I simply cringe when I hear these. For caregivers, there's not always an end in sight. So, if we are waiting for morning to have joy - we may be caught in living grief  until we die. Morning doesn't always come. Storms don't always end. What will we do if morning waits? What are we to do wit...

This week my personal devotions have been about finding Him in that quiet place. It's so easy to be busy as a caregiver. It's often difficult to find time to be still and if you're anything like me, even if I get a minute to sit, then my mind is running full throttle with things I need to do as soon as I get up. Usually, if I do get a half of a chance to sit it's with pen and paper to make a new list of the most important things I've got to do today. Just yesterday I found a phrase in Zechariah 1:11. The last bit of that verse said this: all the earth is resting quietly. That got me to thinking a lot about what that might look like. My thoughts tried to form a place, any place, that was totally resting quietly.  I also looked deep in my own heart to see if I could find a spot in there that matched. Then, I thought about all the "things" we have going on constantly. There are so many things, often important things, vying for our attention 24/7. We hav...

I had a whole lot on my heart this morning as I headed out the door for my early morning run. I told Siri to play "Bless the Lord Oh My Soul" by Matt Redman. As I ran, prayed and praised, I emptied my heavy heart out before Him. The roads I left my burdens on don't look any heavier for the wear, but my feet and heart became lighter as I abandoned my soul to Him in praise even in the midst of this storm. As I prayed and cast off cares so He could carry them instead of me, I uncovered many pains that were hidden deep inside. Some were too difficult to express in words and I let my heart turn them loose as they fell into His. I thought, there are some things that will always just be between me and Him. Things I can't express...too deep for words. Some of the pain was so deep I couldn't even get my thoughts around it. I know I just let it go - suspended between my heart and His - forever. Caregivers can tend to try to "fix" everything making it difficu...

Image by Pixabay A Caregiver's Guide to Home Modifications for Alzheimer's Patients As a caregiver, you want to do everything possible to help a client or loved one with Alzheimer's. This includes modifying the patient's home with her medical needs in mind. In this post, we'll discuss the principles that should guide you when planning these alterations. Use this information when discussing the project with your remodeling contractor. Never attempt these modifications yourself unless you're sure of your skills and knowledge. Three Ways Alzheimer's Disease Affects the Brain Alzheimer's interferes with the mental processes involved with carrying out everyday tasks, according to the National Institute on Aging. Over time, these changes can produce the following symptoms in the sufferer: Forgetting how to perform basic tasks such as balancing a checkbook, driving a car, and taking care of personal hygiene needs. Feeling confused in...

The costs of assisted living or nursing home care can be extremely high. They often run around $3,000 per month , but some of the more expensive and inclusive options can cost over $6,000 per month. You might need assisted living, but you might not. Here are a few things you can do now to make assisted living more affordable. Make Some Home Upgrades There are many things you can do to increase the accessibility of your home. This includes putting grab bars in the bathroom, increasing the lighting around the home, or reducing the use of stairs by moving objects to the main floor. Remove loose carpeting or rugs. You can even install railings on both sides of the stairs. Some modifications can even be supplemented by government assistance programs , such as HUD Title 1 Property Improvement Loans. Take Advantage of Technology Research on the current state of assisted living shows that new technologies are making it easier for family and friends to check on loved ones...

Yesterday, I had to take my aunt to the doctor.  There are good days and bad days it seems and yesterday was more difficult. That just means she needs more assistance doing simple things like walking and getting into and out of chairs and such. As I was helping her get up from a chair at the doctor's office, she faltered just a bit. At the same time, she thought for a second she was falling. She instinctually reached back for me and loudly said, "Hold me!" My heart melted in that second as I wanted to hold her, comfort her, and let her know she wasn't falling at all. I assured her that I was right there  and she wasn't falling. As we proceeded to move down the hall I started thinking about that short instant. We find ourselves in situations, especially as caregivers, where we feel like we are going to fall. Maybe we are unsure of our steps or of our own selves. In that moment we cry out to the ultimate Caregiver - God. We say, "Hold me!" We may be ...

Over the last few weeks, I've been tied up moving two special needs adults. My daughter and SIL bought a large 5 bed, 3 bath house so we could combine households. The goal is to just be here for each other. While we are waiting for my aunt's assisted living apartment to come available, we have four generations under one roof. The last few days have been kind of hectic as we all adjust to some new normals.  Even though moving is unsettling and disorganized at best - I know when it's all said and done it'll be better for us. I look at the chaos in my room and in Chris' room and still wonder if I'll ever get us settled in or not. The obvious answer is I will.. eventually. Sometimes our emotions can feel all unsettled and disorganized too. Okay, maybe that's most  days for caregivers. I know I can be all over the place at any given moment on any given day. Yesterday was one of those days. My emotions were stretched and I felt as tight as a rubber band stre...

I just want to admit up front that emotionally I can be all over the place. That's nothing new, really. But with the impending move, it seems to me like it's a little bit worse. In case I forgot to fill you in, we are moving! My daughter and SIL are buying a huge house so we can all move in. They are going to help me with Chris and I'll help them with kids and day-to-day stuff as well. We are all excited and I believe it's a good move. As I anticipate change though, my thoughts and emotions go from extreme excitement to sheer terror. Eventually, I adjust and change is not usually as rough as I thought - but I'm all over the place until I adjust and settle in. Extremes are not all that uncommon for caregivers, especially on some days. Maybe it's just me but I can be booking along having a great day and a memory or a photo or almost anything can spark raw emotions. Not to brag or anything, but I can go from chipper and happy to calm and weepy in under 10 sec...