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Showing posts from April, 2020

Sleepless Nights

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This morning, as I was studying the Bible and reading some familiar passages, I landed in Psalm 121. It's an all-time favorite and I made the first verse or two into a song during the three weeks I lived in the ICU waiting room hoping my son would wake up. This first verse speaks of God being our helper and how the psalmist was looking to Him alone for help. It's not the aides, though a good one can be helpful. It's not the doctors or nurses, although they are an integral part of a good care team. But it is the Lord who is our helper - help, especially for our souls, comes solely from Him. That's something to hold onto to encourage our hearts on a day to day basis, for sure! But today, my thoughts settled on verse 4. He who keeps you will not slumber, behold He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. Now, as a caregiver, you can understand how important the commodity of sleep is. Personally, sometimes I get a decent 6 hours of sleep, but there are many...

Grandma's Poem

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We've all had to make some adjustments during this pandemic. One thing I am grateful for is having my son home with me.  My aunt is in one nursing facility and my mom in another. Fortunately, both nursing homes have been proactive about connecting residents with their loved ones via technology. I can call and Facetime with my mom and I can send a message to skype with my aunt. I try to visit with each of them at least once a week. Monday, I talked with my aunt for a bit. Today, I got to visit with my mom.  Mama doesn't talk much anymore. She will answer questions, mostly "yes" or "no" questions. She giggles a lot and cries when I call. The calls don't last too long as there isn't a whole lot to talk about with them. But today I decided to read mama one of my grandma's poems. (Her mother.) She seemed to really respond and acted like she enjoyed it.  As I was reading it, I thought about how appropriate it is today. My grandmother wrote...

Giving and Receiving

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I've heard my self quoting the first part of John 14:27 a lot lately. So this morning I decided to look it up. Jesus tells His disciples Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you not as the world gives - do I give to you. But as I read it again this morning, I realized I've been leaving off the last part. It says Let not your heart be troubled - neither let it be afraid. (NASB) That's important, of course, because Jesus said it, but so that we can keep the peace He gives to us. If you think about the act of giving - it requires the act of receiving. Have you ever given someone something and they give it back? To them, it was interpreted as worthless. It feels horrible when someone does that, doesn't it? Jesus wants us to receive His peace - we gotta take it - and embrace it. As caregivers, our days can be anything but peaceful sometimes. We hit the floor running most days. Some nights we run all night too - when our loved one doesn't sleep well or is si...

Insert Peace

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As the pandemic begins to wind down, questions abound. As caregivers we are charged with the care of the nation's most vulnerable population. Our household has stayed in for 5 or 6 or how ever many weeks now to protect my son and grandson. Over the next couple of weeks, some businesses will slowly start to open. I'm not sure it looks much different for me. I'm anxious to get Chris out into nature again! But caution wins out ever time I consider it. I don't think it's fear - but who knows what any emotion is at this point? Some of us have numbed out, and some of us nearly stroked out. lol. One thing that brings me comfort is the history of the Spanish flu. It did come to an end. Sadly, it was after many losses. Not knowing what the days ahead hold can leave us with feelings of uncertainty. Maybe there are some feelings of security and safety from staying in our homes. I'm anxious to see my mom and aunt again, though. I am thankful I have my son at home - I...

No Filter

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I stayed in Psalm 139 for my devotions this morning, mostly because I love that chapter. It is so rich. My focus was on verses 7-12. The psalmist is talking about being in God's presence no matter where he goes or might try to hide. No matter where - God could still be found. And God could still see him. The first thing that stood out to me was in verse 8 where David says  if I make my bed in hell - You are there.  Of course, my first question is why would you want to do that?   Lol. But once I thought about it a bit longer, I realized if I make a bad choice - God doesn't throw me away. He doesn't have a big buzzer He pushes as He screams, "Wrong answer!" Even when I do dumb stuff - and I do it a lot - He doesn't abandon. He doesn't get exasperated with me or my choices. He continues to walk with me trying to guide me. The second thing that stood out in my mind today was verse 12 where the psalmist says darkness and light are the same to You. After r...

Hide 'n Seek

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This morning during my Bible study time, I found myself in Jeremiah. I love this OT prophet! Many look at the book as gloom and doom - but I see God's persistent heart throughout the prophet's writings. He is always reaching out to us whether we are reaching out to Him or not. I landed in chapter 29 in a familiar passage to most of us. It's always good to revisit familiar passages like this because our vision can change based on our circumstances. Yes, the word of God doesn't change - but our ability to see it differently does. Experiences make so many passages sweeter, doesn't it? One of my favorite worship leaders, Dennis Jernigan , says the drier the desert, the sweeter the rain. Many times His word is like the soothing rain on my dry aching heart. That's the way it was this morning. Jeremiah 29:11-13 says this: For I know the thoughts I think toward you, says the Lord thoughts of peace and not  of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you ...

The Most Powerful Tool

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As April continues to be unrolled before us it is uncertain what is ahead. For those of us who are either part of the vulnerable population or caring for someone who is among the most vulnerable - the days are more uncertain. On one hand, many caregivers are used to some level of social isolation. But what little liberty we have had has been taken away. It's easy, and natural to experience a sense of loss during this time. This morning, as I was preparing for the two daily devotions I try to do, I found myself in Colossians 4 and verse 2. Paul encouraged the believers to devote themselves to prayer. He also told them to be alert and diligent about it. Well, it's likely that there is a lot more prayer going on in our world today than there was before Covid-19. But Paul gave another aspect of prayer I found beneficial. The apostle Paul said to pray - with an attitude of thanksgiving.  Now, giving thanks may not be at the forefront of our minds right now - especially while f...

Only Today

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David says in Psalm 37:8 - do not fret.  He goes on to say it will lead to evil doing. He has just said to cease from anger and forsake wrath.  When emotions run high, as they are doing for many right now both caregivers and non-caregivers, anger comes easily. Rightly so as our world has been turned upside down. As a caregiver, I find I have a short fuse and I have to guard my heart diligently lest I blow up at little things. I understand that is part of the package, it's normal, right? Yes. But it doesn't have to be that way. While we are all on shut-down mode and the governor of our state lengthened the time we must stay home since those we care for are vulnerable - it can make for a short fuse. But honestly, I'm not sure what I fear most - being confined to the house longer or being allowed to go out. Will I ever be able to go out with peace of mind again? And just like that - I'm fretting over things I cannot see - don't know - and have to have time to pla...

Swallowed Up!

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Caregiving isn't for the faint of heart. Who am I talking to? Of course, you know that! And as if caregiving wasn't enough on our plates, Covid19 has to raise its ugly head. For those of us with loved ones in facilities, it can be extremely difficult since there is no visitation allowed. On top of the normal day-to-day tasks and chores of caregiving comes more concern and trying to find ways to stay connected with our loved ones. At times, it can feel like the world has swallowed us whole. David was in a fix when he penned Psalm 57. In verse three he says that God reproaches the one who would swallow me up. As I read that this morning, I realized that is part of how I feel. It's like I've been swallowed whole by the situation. It can be stifling at times. But as caregivers - we just keep pressing on. Because that's what we do. There's a whole range of emotions caregivers already deal with, many on a daily basis. Fear. Dread. Grief and living grief. But now...

Hand in Hand

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One of my favorite run-to scriptures is Psalm 61. In the '70s, we sang the first four verses of this psalm. It's a great way to memorize scriptures, by the way! In the first two verses, David is crying out to God. He is overwhelmed, something the caregiver knows well. Every day can be overwhelming just normally. This is even harder during a pandemic. We already had enough on our plate, right? But after David makes his plea, he begins to make a declaration. This is a pattern he follows in many psalms. In this psalm, it seems he reminds himself of how God has been a shelter for him over the years. He says, for You have been a shelter for me, a strong tower from the enemy. Maybe David is reminding himself that he's run to God many times for protection from the enemy. Maybe it's a good idea to remind ourselves how God has been our refuge and shelter many times before. I know I have run to Him many times in my lifetime. And He's always faithful - He's always th...

Whatever Lies Ahead

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I was reading some of the OT prophets over the weekend. As I was spending time in prayer, the scripture out of Habakkuk came to my mind and I whispered it in my prayers. In the last part of verse 2, the prophet says, revive Your work in the midst of the years, oh Lord. That was my prayer and later became my meditation. We are living through some tough times, and I'm seeing lots of whining come across social media channels. I'm certainly not unsympathetic, but I'm like you've been home for two whole weeks... seriously? I recall when I became a caregiver and the social isolation was one of the most difficult parts. And honestly, even as caregivers, we can mourn the loss of the freedom we have enjoyed - whatever level of freedom we had, even if it was minimal. But there's always some good news, and I found it in the latter part of this same chapter of Habakkuk. Verses 17 and 18 say this: Though the fig tree does not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines; Though...

How to Care for a Loved One from Afar

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As caregivers, we want to do our best for our senior loved ones. When we’re stuck living far apart, however, it can feel impossible to give them the care they need. Fortunately, there are many things you can do for your loved one no matter where you are. Thanks to our ever-connected world, you can give them the gift of care despite all the distance between you. It’s hard to be far apart, but thanks to technology, we can be together no matter where we are. Here are a few great ways to be a caregiver from afar: Help Around the House When you're an in-person caregiver, it's easy to help your loved one with household chores and maintenance. Being far away obviously makes this more challenging, but that doesn't mean you're at a loss. Making slight home modifications and outsourcing services can be great ways to help your senior loved one get the assistance they need. For example, is your loved one’s laundry room set up in the basement? Navigating sta...

One Day in the Grave

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Today is Saturday, and tomorrow is when most of our culture celebrates the Resurrection. I say it needs to be something we celebrate daily in our lives, but corporately, tomorrow is the day. If we think about it, today is the only whole day Jesus spent in the tomb. He was crucified and buried on Friday - and rose on Sunday. It's the only 24-hour day the earth was silent. Imagine how the disciples were feeling on this day. Jesus had been their hope, they had pictured Him setting up a physical kingdom and now their dreams and all they had invested in for the last three years was gone. They were scared. Most likely, they were silent. Sometimes as a caregiver, I've experienced pain beyond words. There just isn't always a good way to articulate feelings or emotions, especially when they are so deep in our souls. Silence isn't always bad. I go back to Psalm 46:10 where God encourages the psalmist to be still and know I am God. Sounds simple, huh? But being still and qui...

The Supposed-To-Be's

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So many things are supposed to be happening right now. It's the height of racing season and I'm supposed to be lining our races for myself and a few to push Chris in. It's Easter weekend and many families are supposed to be planning huge family gatherings, early Sunday morning church services, and Easter egg hunts. But none of that is happening as the world is still on hold. For many of us caregivers, it doesn't really look all that much different. But the atmosphere is different. The world is a different place right now  - nothing is as it is supposed to be.  I've kept my thoughts in Psalm 46 a lot this week. I'm meditated on verse 1 and I'm still chewing on it. It says God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. But then the next verse says this: Therefore we will not fear, even though the earth be removed, and the mountains be carried into the heart of the sea.... While our earth may not have physically moved, it's cert...

The Giver & Receiver

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I'm still walking through Psalm 46:1 in my morning devotions. Yesterday, we talked about how God is our refuge- we run to Him and hide in Him. But the psalmist goes on to say that He is our peace.  I have a  lot of favorite scriptures about peace! But I want to focus on one in Psalm 29:11. This verse says   The Lord will give  strength to His people, the Lord will bless His people with peace. I love this verse! When we put it all together, He is our refuge - as long as we run to  Him, as we talked about yesterday. We must run to Him and hide. But now, He is also our strength. Again - we must run to Him and let  Him be our strength rather than trying to do it all on our own. This scripture in Psalm 29 says He gives us strength - and He gives us peace. But it's up to us to accept it - hold it - submit to it - and walk in it. He can pour it on us all day long but we still won't have peace or strength if we don't yield our hearts and ways to Him. E...

Better Get Running

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It's funny (not haha) to watch the world adjust to living in a cave during this pandemic. As caregivers, most of us are used to it on some level or another. Sadly, we are used to being treated like we have the plague, at least in some circles. There is so much uncertainty and insecurity as well as lots of adjustments to make. It reminds me of when I first brought my son home to care for him. I was so afraid. Every time I needed to transfer him, I'd get sick to my stomach from fear I'd drop him or hurt him in some way. Of course, he's better and I've adjusted. We always do - but sometimes after dealing with much shock! lol. And the world will figure it out too. Eventually. My go-to scripture in difficult times is PSalm 46:1. It says it all. God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. I'm camping out in this verse this week and sharing it in live devotions on Facebook. This morning, I just looked at the very first phrase - God is our refuge...