Daily Devotions for Caregivers

 Do you ever feel like you live in full-time, full-on survival mode? I do. But the funny (not haha funny) thing is that a large part of the time, even though we know we are in survival mode, we don't realize its depth. I learned this yesterday, when the home health company called yesterday to tell me that I was going to start getting 5 hours a week for respite, once they find an aid. My response is what caught me off gaurd. I literally cried, and I am no crier. At that moment, the last few months caught up with me and I realized how tight I'd been. I had respite, then didn't. I just adjusted to the new normal. That's what we do, right? And I would bet we all do it a LOT without really realizing what a tight spot we are in. Until my emotional surprise, I hadn't realized how hard it's been to have zero help and zero breaks, even though I've done it alone a lot over the last nearly 15 years. We just kind of keep moving forward, caring for our loved ones, and tr...

 This morning, I was standing in my son's bedroom doorway, sipping my coffee and planning my day. Even though you never know what a caregiving day may bring, it's always good to have a plan. I mean, who knows, it might all go smoothly! We can hope. Right? I was looking at my son and praying and thanking God for the progress Chris has been making. One thing I've learned on this difficult journey is that I can trust God with my heart, emotions, and crazy out-there thoughts. His peace always has a way of reeling it all back in. I love how God meets us right where we are. He patiently waits for us to stop whining and complaining before He gently wipes the tears from our eyes so we can see Him clearly again - even if our heart is still a bit clouded with emotions. Isaiah 30:18 tells us that He waits for us to wait on Him. He waits until our hearts are ready to receive His goodness, grace, strength, help, and encouragement. And He knows the precise second we drop everything to re...

I'm still reading through Exodus, and this morning, I was to the part where the Children of Israel made the golden calf while Moses was on the mountain watching God write the 10 commandments with His finger. God tells Moses to "go down and check on YOUR  people that YOU brought out of Egypt. We then find Moses pleading with God on behalf of the wayward Israelites, even though he was upset at them, too. Think about what it must have been like to move such a huge crowd successfully across the wilderness. Just like for us, God was the ultimate provider. He made sure their clothes didn't wear out, they had food, and there was water. Moses followed God closely while moving the people from point A to point B. As I thought about how overwhelming it must have been to work with these whiny, cry-babies, moaning and groaning Israelites, I thought man  Moses was the ultimate caregiver. Of course, our circumstances are very different in that we care for our loved ones who cannot take c...

 I love the story of Gideon, the man who didn't know what he had. He came to mind in my studies this morning. I was looking at Exodus 20, where the Children of Israel were afraid to go up to the burning, shaking mountain with God. I can't say as I blame them. Most of the time throughout the Bible, when someone encountered God or an angel, they were afraid. Many times, the first thing God's messenger said was, "Fear not." Not so with Gideon. And that's why I don't buy the traditional line of thinking that he was a scared little man hiding out from the Midianites. When God's messenger showed up, they said, "Hail mighty hero. God is with you." (NLT) Gideon immediately responded with a question. He asked respectfully, "Sir, if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us?" Didn't seem to be any fear there. Gideon just started asking real questions, for which he was NOT condemned, I might add. As I continued thinking about th...

  Caregivers can be so easily ignored. Or at least, that's been my experience. Only other caregivers have a clue about what goes on during our normal days. And even then, our stories are all so unique there's not really a comparison. But we do share some things like social isolation or living grief. Ultimately, we each must find our own path of faith and learn to trust God in our various caregiving circumstances. But just because God is "along for the ride" doesn't mean there are no bumps in the road. I've been studying Exodus this week, and this morning, in my reading, I was looking at their horrible attitudes. Lol. Sadly, I can often relate. God brought them through the Red Sea - but it didn't mean they would never face difficult situations again. He fed them manna and provided water at leas two times so far. Just because He provided water once didn't mean they would never need it again. I was thinking about all these things and their ups and downs a...

 For the last few days, I've been taking a look at the Children of Israel's exodus from Egypt. This story has so many details about how God does things. While we want to know His ways, not just His deeds (Psalm 103:7), the things He does give us a purer glimpse at who He is. That's what stopped me in Exodus chapter 15 during my reading this morning.  Get this picture. The Israelites have just seen God's hand bring them out of Egypt. He totally delivered them from a life of slavery and oppression. That's just the first big thing. After that, He brought them across the Red Sea, destroying Pharoah's army and sweeping them away in the collapsing sea. I call that "God's triple play!"  Seriously, these people just witnessed God do great miracles. Their feet  had just crossed across the dry bed of the Red Sea. Their eyes  had seen Pharoah's army be swept away in the waves. Their voices  had just sung I will sing to the Lord, for He has triumphed glori...

Have you ever been in a long-distance relationship? I've been in a couple over the last 30 years or so. Many of our military families are forced to deal with distance if a loved one is deployed. They are never easy to navigate, no matter what the reason. I mean, come on, a virtual hug is nice - but it's not the same thing. Not even close! We found out how valuable applications like Zoom and Skype were during the pandemic, although I'd been using them for years to close those relational gaps. They are invaluable tools for those of us who work (and live) online. As great as these apps are - they'll never be the same as being close in real time and real life.  Sometimes as caregivers, it can feel like everyone is in a long-distance relationship. I can't fault people for it - they don't always know what to do with us once we become a caregiver. Like we all of a sudden don't want to watch a movie with them or play games anymore. And in their defense, sometimes we...

 This morning as I was journaling, I realized what a mess I'd been this week. While I was trying to sort through crazy emotions and difficult situations, survival mode kicks in, and I don't realize how messed up things are until I start coming back down out of the mountainous stress levels. Lol. Maybe it's just me? The funny thing (not haha funny) is that just a simple motion from God, and it stills the storm in my heart. Isn't that great and crazy all at the same time? Once I've come back down to something that slightly resembles normal , I see how "off" I've been. This time, it was nearly a week! Lol. Things seem to just pile up. Maybe it's because there are so many loose ends in a caregiver's life. Perhaps it's because nothing is ever solved; it's just different. Seldom is anything resolved - instead, we adapt to new normals all the time. Sometimes, it's a day-by-day adjustment to whatever might be on our plate at the time. This ...

  As caregivers, we have to be ready to change in a second. We may get a call that our loved one has fallen or needs something specific. Hopefully, there are not a lot of those in the middle of the night, but they do happen. Some of us may be awakened in the night by a new, troubling cough, a high fever, or sundry other things that can happen. For many of us, every day is slightly different than all the rest. The only thing that is consistent - is change. This morning, as I was thought-working on some changes I've got to make moving forward, I got a bit frustrated. Then I realized that the changes I'm needing to make are because of some slight improvements my son has been making. Instead of being down about it all, I cheered myself up. Even though change is hard, it is often good.  Then, I began to think about the things that have not, will not, and cannot change. During the most troubling of caregiving days, I've been able to rely on God's faithfulness. I've learne...

 I'm so glad that God stays consistent even in my inconsistencies. As caregivers, we have a lot of emotions to work through every day. Add to that the responsibilities, ADLs, and other aspects of caring for our loved ones, and we can become a mess real quick. Maybe it's just me? It seems like just about the time I get settled into a working schedule, something happens. Either we spend a few days in the hospital, or one of any other scenarios that interrupt our well-oiled patterns occurs. On any given day, there are a multitude of disruptors poised to bring us down, it seems. That may be a bit dramatic - but I know you knwo what I mean! Sometimes, I feel like a two-year old toddler who vacilletes betweeen needing to be held and carried, and being independent. I'm so glad that God gets me no matter where I am emotionally. He is there for my super-pouty days, when I throw a grown-up fit, and when I just need to sit quietly and let Him cuddle my heart in His. As a parent, I...

This morning, I found myself in a familiar passage. It's in Hosea2. I usually focus on the last part of verse 15. It says He will make the "Valley of Achor as a door of hope." One translation of Achor is "pain," which for me always reminds me that God will open a door of hope wherever there is pain. I've held on to that verse for a long time, trusting that He will bring hope in the midst of the challenges, losses, and pains of caregiving. But I backed up and read the verses before and after verse 15 again this morning. In verse 14, God is telling His people through the prophet Hosea, that He was going to "allure" or draw His people. Then, He's going to take her to the wilderness. I'm like, what? On purpose? But the next phrase makes it make more sense. It says, and speak comfort to her. He's wanting to take His people out of the busy-ness of life, out of the chaos, out of the craziness - just so He can comfort them.  As I thought about ...

 One of the most difficult things for many caregivers is social isolation. Even though we have online opportunities to "visit" and socialize with others, it's not quite the same. The Pandemic was actually helpful to the caregiving community because nearly everyone figured out how to do what they do virtually. Lol. The world was in shock at suddenly being forced to stay home. They moaned and cried about not being able to get out - I was like, where y'all been? Welcome to our world? Lol. I'm not without compassion, of course. The world grieved at the losses, even though most didn't recognize it as grief. For many caregivers, situations didn't change much during the lockdowns. We were already at home. Alone. As the world started going back to a new normal, the isolation was forgotten by many. We went back to our caregiving normals too. That left many alone and forgotten once again. But there's good news. I was reading Psalm 113 this morning, and in verse ...

Have you ever felt invisible? For caregivers, it can often feel like everyone else's life went on while you're stuck in a vacuum. It's an understatement to say your friends change when you enter caregiving. For many, old friends disappear. For the lucky ones, a few new friends may appear. We often get passed over for invites, mostly because others are not sure what to do with us - or not sure how to "handle" us in public and some private settings. Even family members may look the other way or stop reaching out, leaving the caregiver feeling abandoned and alone. Recently, I've really wondered if I have a new superpower of invisibility. Lol.  The dichotomy is that caregivers can also feel like we stick out like a sore thumb. For example, I enjoy going to a local Christian writer's meeting. However, trying to get my son's chair through the narrow door is quite the spectacle. It usually takes two or three people. (True accessibility is a whole other story!...

 I don't know about you, but checklists help run my days. The problem is that sometimes I have two or three or more checklists that I'm working off of. Sometimes, it gets totally out of hand, so I combine them all into one big checklist and start marking off items as I go. However, most days, there just aren't enough items marked off. This morning, I made a different list mentally. I started thinking about what I could cut from today's to-do list.  For caregivers, there are so many things that have to be done in a day. When each day involves the care of another person, the list of nonnegotiable gets long. It can be overwhelming, at best. Debilitating at worst. Sometimes I sit, sip coffee, and just stare at the list of things I need to do - the thing is that my to-do list doesn't have all the must-dos on it. I don't write range of motion, laundry, preparing tube feedings, standing frame time, etc., on the list because they are given. So, no wonder not many things...

 This morning, during my personal devotions, I was looking something up when my eye briefly saw a phrase from 2 Timothy. It's indented, so it sort of stood out on the page, but my eyes rolled over If we are faithless, He remains faithful. I don't know about you - but I know about me, and sometimes I feel like I'm lifeless and faithless. The crucible of life seems to press our souls out of us sometimes. Maybe it's the day-after-day strain of caring for our loved ones. Weariness doesn't creep in - it's taken up residence. Lol. So, when this scripture skipped across my attention, it made me start thinking. I know I have faith. I know you have faith. We are still seeking Him, after all. So there must be a glimmer of faith that keeps us running toward the cross. But sometimes, I feel totally wasted and faithless. This scripture helps remind me that when I feel like my faith bucket is empty, His bucket is still full.  When I feel the weakest, He is still the strongest...

  Do you ever get to the end of the day and realize how much you left undone? I am only one caregiver, but I imagine if I could just sit and talk with other caregivers, many of us, most likely most of us, have way too many responsibilities and chores to fit inside a 24-hour day. Maybe we could do more if we skipped sleep, which I've thought about a LOT, but just get too fuzzy-minded to do much after 11 or midnight. Lol. No matter what our caregiving story details look like, it can keep us busy. We live life on our toes, so to speak because we never know what kind of day-interrupters are going to occur. For the most part, I know in the morning that there is no way I can realistically get to every item on my to-do list. However, I just keep trying. The problem is that when I lay down at night, most nights, I feel like a failure. That's because I have my focus on what didn't get done  instead of what did  get done. Never mind that I totally cared for another whole adult huma...

  I love how God's grace never changes. When Paul found himself in difficult circumstances, he asked God three times for relief. (2 Corinthians 12) A breif look back at chapter 11 lets us know some of the trials Paul had faced. Caregiving's hard, but I haven't been in a shipwreck! Caregiving is tough, but I've never been beaten with rods. Caregiving is difficult, but I've never been robbed. Looking through his list somehow takes the sting out of my own. However, Paul was never where we are either. Which is actually good news. It means when God told him that His grace was sufficient for his crazy circumstances and difficultites - we can apply it to ours as well. No matter what we face God's grace can match it! I love that. As caregivers our thoughts and emotions can be all over the place in a matter of seconds. It's not unusual to have extreme joy followed by extreme sorrow, followed by extreme anxiety, and end up in peace. This cyclical activity can go on an...

 Caregiving can be a constant "rough spot" in our lives. But on our journeys, there are other dynamics that come into play. As caregivers, we learn rather quickly to be problem solvers. It's just part of the job. Sometimes we get supplies, sometimes we don't. We learn to navigate difficult systems and fight various battles that shouldn't even be necessary to provide for our loved ones. Even something as simple as filling a prescription can become a circus. Sigh. These things were running through my mind this morning as I was sorting through some of the recent changes occurring in our lives. I want to throw my hands up and quit. But of course, it's a fleeting thought as I catch my breath and go back in for round two, or three, or four... For a second, I wondered if God heard me. Frustrations mound, and I run out of answers, and even though I know  He hears me - I still ask Him if He does. Lol. My thoughts turn into prayers, and I ask God, do you even hear me? A...

Last week, I was preparing for one of my video sessions, and I found myself in 2 Kings 4. This is the story of the woman that Elisha prayed for. He prayed she would have a son as a way of blessing her for all she had done to help him. The son grew up, then one day he was in the field and grabbed his head and fell to the ground, then died later that day. Today, we would assume something like an aneurysm.  The grief-stricken mother hurridly began journeying to see Elisha. She Gehazi, Elisha's servant, that all was well, even though her heart had to have been shattered into a million pieces. Once she reached the man of God, she crumbled to the ground before him and lay at his feet. Gehazi tried to push her away. But Elisha recognized greif. He saw that her heart was broken, even though she had no words. Before she could even finish telling him what had happened, he took action and started Gehazi on the journey to the dead boy, on his behalf. Ultimately, the boy was raised from the dea...

  As caregivers, we have a few things in common. We care for a loved one. Our days are filled with caregiving tasks. The list could go on and on. Even though we have caregiving as common ground, no two stories have the same dynamics. They vary in many ways. Our loved ones may be in different age groups. Personally, I care for my 39-year-old son. But previously, I cared for him and my 89-year-old aunt. Yes, at the same time. Can you say, "full plate?" Some of us are caring for loved ones who are naturally aging. While others are watching our loved one's mind slowly drift away. Perhaps some caregivers, such as me, became caregivers due to a tragic accident. Others may be caring for a child that was born with birth defects. Besides who we care for, the way we care for them may differ. Some are still walkie-talkies and very ambulatory. Others are bedridden and need total assistance with ADLs. Still others are somewhere in between. They can do some things for themselves, but n...